~The Janus Edition~
SSAF REMOVED for OFF-CAMPUS StUdents
EXAMS BANISHED TO MORDOR
HOW TO CHANGE THE WORLD WITH JAMES ARVANITAKIS
RUPERT MURDOCH vs J JONAH JAMESON
ALCOHOL
The Two-Faced God
NUCLEUS Vol. 1, No. 9, December 2013
EDITORS: Sarita Perston
and Stewart Horsfield
ASSISTANT EDITORS:
Bridgette Glover,
Alana Young &
Jessica Kelley
Cover Design, Layout and Miracles
by Jesus
Arts Pages Cover Photo
by Stu Horsfield
Contact Us:
facebook: facebook.com/NucleusUNE
email: editors@nucleus.org.au
website: www.nucleus.org.au
post: P.O. Box U1, UNE
Armidale NSW 2351
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- Editorial
- UNESA President’s report
- NEWS! Really important stuff you should read
- In Conversation: James Arvanitakis
- More from Hoi Sin: The Truthes of Mayonnaise
- On the Use of Language in Kenya
- Boko Moko Tesch Haram
- The Protest Perspective Andrew Bolt Was Lacking
- Environment: Green Gully Track
- Why Study Philosophy?
- Rupert Murdoch vs. J. Jonah Jameson
- Wanted: Alcohol
- Student Profile
- College Recipe
- Arts Pages
- Nucleus, Vol. 1, No. 1, 2013
Disclaimer
Nucleus: funded by SSAF
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The opinions expressed in this publication do not necessarily
reflect those of the staff of Nucleus or UNESA. If you have an
issue with an item published in the paper, write a letter and we
will be glad to print it. All contributions must include name
and contact details. Ensure that all contributions contain
nothing that may be considered sexist, racist, discriminatory,
violence provoking, or plagiarised. We assume our readers can
tolerate a degree of satire and the odd swear word, but anything containing unnecessary profanity will not be published.
Publication is always at the discretion of the editors.
All content is published under the
Creative Commons By 3.0 license.
Refer to website for license information.
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Janus is the Roman god of time; of beginnings and endings, of gates and doors. He
looks both forward and back: to what will
be, and to what has been.
munication and the elasticity of language in
this issue have been put into play at UNE, it
seems, by Professor Eddie Blass; indicative
of a wider yet subtle movement to corporate language in what is first and foremost,
surely, an academic environment.
What is Nucleus now? It conveys information, ideas and opinion – a privileged role.
We search, disclose, record, question, entertain, suggest, remember; and scrutinise
power. We are founded on the UNESA
principle of representing students �without
fear or favour’ and on our own core principles of accountability,
interconnectedness, culture, engagement and history.
I’d also like to draw attention to Boko Moko
Tesch Haram (page 19). This article is here
because when I read it, it shook something
deep down in the way that I think. It is here
because ultimately, you can go through your life believing that you
see the world the right way.
We exist for students, for all students, and will do so until the death
and demise of student culture, should that ever happen at UNE.
It is no great secret, yet needs to be said, that it is the responsibility
of universities to vigorously challenge that assumption.
We have been forged in the past year – the long, brief, eternal year
– by the variety and calibre of those who have dipped their toe into
the pool and given it a go: all kinds, a full spectra of quality, with
many facts and whatever opinion. The results have at times been eccentric, at times daring (and at times dull) – but from my perspective as editor not nearly eccentric or daring enough. Of anywhere
in a university, the student newspaper is a place to do and be those
things; to raise the challenge to your fellow university students to
think as they have not thought before.
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And if there is one thing this issue wants to do, it is for you to make
a crack in the veneer of how you usually think. You should ask questions. In challenging your first response, you gain a deeper insight,
whether it be in affirmation or in contradiction of the original. See
what you think: then take that, break it apart, and look again more
deeply.
In James Arvanitakis’s interview, we note that the environment in
which you surround yourself determines to a great extent the person that you are. There are many of us who need to question what
environment we are in, who determines it, and whether their actions, and ours, are the appropriate ones. We may be adjusted to a
particular culture – a boardroom? a group of radical thinkers? a position that is overridden by attitude rather than authority? We may
feel comfortable doing what we are doing, but often this is just the
surface, and a sense of comfort too often arises from the satisfaction
of narcissism. So take a step back and challenge your comfort.
Katy Carlan is one of the people who noticed Nucleus and simply
got involved; she has written wonderfully several times from where
she works and studies in Kenya. Her insightful comments on com-
In The Australian (9/12/13) our Vice-Chancellor said that “The
absolute minimum service that a student requires is assessment,
end of story. When you think about it, what we sell is credentials –
everything else is ancillary.”
The article went on to say, �Not only the familiar amenities, such as
student clubs, but also academic services such as tutorials could be
“unbundled” so that students paid only for what they wanted, [Jim
Barber] said. And he asked why the growing number of students who
could master the content without coming to lectures should have to
pay for capital investment in lecture halls.’
-----|----In this issue we have an article on the multi-million dollar Integrated Agricultural Education Project, a monumental investment
representing building for the long term; infrastructure and serious
provision of facilities in one of UNE’s core strengths. As is the New
College; as is, to some
extent, the Parramatta
Campus in Western
Sydney.
The trend to an online
university has been
cited and championed ceaselessly by the
Vice-Chancellor.
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But what are the consequences when the model for monetising
Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs) is extended to tutorials, to lecture halls and the like?
It is surely this ideology that leads to the incentives behind
Eddie Blass’s document: a move away from expensive physical exams towards online marking, online interaction, digital
assessment, digital minds. Eddie Blass is following a particular
kind of worship.
Perhaps one face speaks of pedagogical motivations; but another speaks of the motivations of the markets.
And should we as students not question this? But do students
know what is best for the University? Is it not the role of academics to assess academic matters; Council to assess the direction the University should go in; Vice-Chancellors to implement that; students to think and sit and talk and learn and be
and question?
What happens if the vision of one person is out of keeping with
the core of the University?
There are some very serious questions that need to be asked
and clarified regarding the decision not to charge SSAF of
external students. If the services provided to externals from
SSAF are to continue, will they be funded from the University itself? There have been some indications that this is the
case. But if so, how is this justified if internal students are
still paying it themselves?
And will the students’ association, barely four months old,
really be made to “take a haircut”?
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It has been a momentous year. A year of ups and downs; extreme highs and very extreme lows. From nonexistence and
inexperience, to a struggle through a lack of recognition, and
on at last to the milestones by which our contributors, our content, our readership and our lovely new editors are all indicative. Many, many thanks to Bridgette and Alana for their help
and work with this edition. The ship is still being built, but not
without direction – I personally have always been cheered on
by the undeniable, unquenchable and unholy vision and spirit
inherent in the student paper.
And so very much has been learnt. I feel as Mrs Dalloway felt:
very young; at the same time unspeakably aged. I think the
same could be said of Nucleus itself.
The vision, though, did not begin with myself & Stu. For wisdom, for advice and for simply being there when I needed
someone – Josh, David and Alex, I love you all. I cannot thank
you enough, at least not here… I have limited space, I’ve already had to add an extra four pages, and the deadline was a
week and a half ago!
Sweet regards,
Sarita
Co-Editor, 2013
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A Full Year Back with
Nucleus
Firstly I want to acknowledge the importance of this issue of
Nucleus. This is the last issue for 2013 and the culmination
for Stewart and Sarita in what has been an amazing journey
of ups and downs. It has been a huge mountain to climb on
the way to relaunching a student newspaper at UNE. This is
the restoration of a legacy of the student newspaper at UNE
i.e. as the first student newspaper in the country. They have
set a standard for the phoenix Nucleus that will hold future
years of the newspaper in good stead. They have managed
to pay homage to past editors in the best way possible, with
dedication and integrity. I would like to thank them and congratulate them for their contribution to the student experience and their enduring faith and dedication in restoring a
student voice at UNE.
It has been a few hectic weeks for UNESA; the end of Trimester 2 has seen your board become mostly external and that
has been challenging to deal with, with a suite of changes
to UNE student amenity. UNESA is now invited to participate
in providing part of the tertiary student experience. The responsibility for independent advocacy, TuneFM, and the secondhand bookshop are additional roles for 2014. UNESA has
set about creating relationships that are built on respect and
partnership. It will be an exciting time to be part of the student association, contributing in an active meaningful way to
a UNE student tertiary experience. There is still a lot of work
to do in instilling a culture of respect for the three important
facets of how a university functions (staff, students, and admin). The signs are emerging that the monolith is adjusting
to the emergence of the student voice: hopefully we can cement some of the goalposts so the communication strategy
can catch up. We are still waiting to see UNE administration
unveil the full service and amenity strategy for UNE students.
As I reflect on the last six months, it is hard to know where
the time has flown. We are already at week six in Trimester
3 and eleven weeks out from O-Week. Time is still short, so
can I now at least have the extra day a week? The farmer in
me I will stop asking for rain as it has started to fall and may it
continue on to make up for the last nine months.
The federal government and the federal education minister
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continue to demonstrate an uncommon capacity for �brain
farts’. The latest in the �brain fart’ series is where Gonski, a
bi-partisan policy for education developed prior to the election, was thrown on the well-used scrap heap of political
expedience by Christopher Pyne. This is becoming a habit
in the education ministry, with the PM dragging the smouldering remains from an unholy fire to be allowed to gasp on
to the next ministry brain bubble. For education it is going
to be a long federal election cycle if Mr Pyne is the education minister in three years’ time, noting we are just twelve
weeks in. This reminded me of a quote from Henry Louis
Mencken: “The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the
populace alarmed by menacing it with an endless series of
hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” It seemed fitting.
I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday period, and
good luck in the New Year.
- David Mailler, UNESA President
4th December 2013
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LetterS to the Editors
I just want to express my concern, as an External student, at the University’s decision to cut the SSAF for External Students. I have studied
both Internally and Externally, and I am concerned that those students
celebrating the fee cut are not considering what their SSAF fee actually
pays for.
The Vice Chancellor has expressed concern that External students pay
for services that are primarily accessed by Internals. If this is the case,
then I agree that we should not have to pay for them, but how exactly
does the university propose to separate services to ensure that everybody is paying only for what they use? Should the Nucleus Editors demand to see Internal Student credentials before they hand over a copy
of the student newspaper? Must we give Internal Students password
access to the TuneFM webstream? If we require a second Independent
Student Advocate (only one is mandated by legislation), will that ISA
simply refuse to deal with any External student requiring assistance?
Professor Barber says that this is just the first step in an “unbundling”
of fees for online students. (The Australian, December 9th 2013 “Uni
axes services fee for onliners”) Professor Barber also says that this
change of fee structure could also include a fee reduction for Externals
so that they stop paying for capital works on lecture theatres they aren’t
using. When External students travel to Armidale for Intensive Schools,
will they study in their own buildings? Because surely under this system they cannot study in any building which has been maintained or
built thanks to fees paid only by Internal students. Although this is not
a SSAF issue, it does lead me to wonder where it all ends.
I doubt any of the measures I’ve described could be implemented,
because they are ridiculous. So, what are we looking as an alternative to
18 000 Externals paying for 2000 Internals? 2000 Internals will pay for
those other 18 000!
Previously, we Externals have paid a reduced SSAF fee and, in my opinion, received an excellent return on it. For a start, we don’t even need
to pay upfront. It can be covered in a system similar to HECS. Student
Support organise BBQs during Intensive School. The library sends out
books free of charge to External students, including return postage.
UNESA runs a shuttle to and from the airport and train station for students arriving for their Intensive Schools. Every effort has been made to
use SSAF money to improve the experience of students studying here
during Intensives. As a volunteer with Student Support’s Blue Shirts, I
have received so much positive feedback from Externals telling me how
much they enjoy coming onto campus and experiencing campus life.
The Nucleus recently hired an External Editor, specifically to represent
the particular concerns of External students. All of these initiatives will
be gone under the new system.
I’m also worried about how this decision divides Internals and Externals. There is already some degree of dissatisfaction between these two
groups. How will that increase now that some of us are paying fees and
others aren’t? We are all students; we all enjoy enrolment at an amazing
University. I want us to be friends, not rivals for services and the attention of the administration.
As an unwilling External student (my degree is not offered internally),
I will not be required to pay my SSAF fee next year. Where can I send
my $187 to contribute to the supply of services for both Internal and
External students?
Just some thoughts for everyone to consider,
Kate Wood
President, UNE Women’s Society
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Dear Editors,
I have a complaint to file! Last week I went to the library to get
some things done on the computer - that was, until I was refused
access to the internet! I went to IT and according to them, since
I am not enrolled in any Tri 3 units I cannot access the internet
on campus. Well that’s bullshit, and let me just tell you, it is a
scary moment when you realise you’re suddenly completely dependent on the 8GB/month deal you have with Telstra.
Oh and also, when I went and saw IT about the problem, they
filed it under their “problems to fix” list and I got an email about
it yesterday. I was stoked! “Yay,” I thought, “and just in time - my
8GBs are almost up.” But then I read the email which basically
said “The problem is resolved. You have access to your account
and emails. But your internet has been removed. This means
you won’t be able to access your account on campus because you
don’t have the internet.”
Um, WHAT?
Sincerely,
Issue Unresolved.
�Some general thoughts and observations’
Originally posted on the UNESA Moodle discussion board on
Wednesday 11 December 2013. The Editor apologises for the lack
of context but this was part of quite a lengthy discussion.
Hi All,
I have a few observations to make. I only speak for myself,
not UNESA or any other student body, and I am happy to be
corrected if I have any of it wrong, there are many complexities
here and perhaps I am simplifying too much, or making some
assumptions that don’t reflect the reality.
First of all in relation to the SSAF funding being removed for
external students. I think this is an excellent outcome. As some
have pointed out there is not much benefit to external students.
I understand that, having been an external student for a couple
of years previously; I think it is a common sense decision. My
issue has been with discussions around SSAF in that some
have suggested that there is no place for the SSAF fund at all. I
tend to disagree from my perspective currently as an internal
student. I think there is a place for it generally. I can only speak
for myself. I’m happy that as it currently stands it will continue
in some form.
The second thing I wanted to mention is in relation to the
stated aim [of UNESA]. The constitution certainly sets that out.
I was fortunate enough to attend a meeting mid way through
this year held by the former representative bodies where it was
voted to reconstitute the student associations into one body.
What I took from that meeting was that there were a number of
reasons. First, SSAF was being collected and the relevant legislation required consultation with the student body, and having
two student associations wasn’t particularly conducive to that; a
united body was required. Additionally, there were issues with
the previous constitutions which made it very
difficult (I think it was even suggested impossible) to be able to participate in that consultation, and to be responsible with respect to
expenditure. Another reason put forth, was
that in the event that SSAF funding ceased, it
was important that implemented initiatives
could continue. A way that could be ensured
was by having the student representative bodies have control of the student assets held on
trust. This included, to my knowledge, Tune,
Nucleus and the Cinema in town. Those
assets do after all belong to the students,
and the income generated could be used to
continue activities should the SSAF funding
no longer be available. There’s been some
excellent commentary about the need to ensure that advocates and representatives aren’t
employees of the university so some level of
independence is maintained. I thought these
were very good arguments, and I can’t add to
them. I think independence is important and
that should continue regardless of whether
the SSAF funding remains available.
It’s for this reason that I find it a little odd
that people are commenting around why
UNESA should take control of Tune, or
Nucleus. I thought it was common knowledge
that had been communicated through that
meeting. I also find it odd that people are
commenting about the governance training;
clearly it’s important given the additional
responsibilities the board has. In relation to
comments around Fiduciary Duties at the
expense of representation, I see the two as
linked. To ensure that going forward any
employees are independent then operation of
those assets I have mentioned could be vital.
It is my understanding previously that there
were some difficulties with respect to people
not complying with those fiduciary duties
and that is why the student body did not have
control of those assets for a considerable period. It is right for them to seek appropriate
training in this respect.
There has been some commentary around
the fact that there is some leadership on the
board with past experience. Absolutely this
is the case, but the composition of the board
and activities are in some circumstances very
similar, and as I have suggested above, quite
different. The way I see it, given that there
are some fundamental differences, then it
is a bit premature to suggest that the board
is somehow incompetent or is not fulfilling
its duties. I also think it’s unreasonable to
expect that some matters will be resolved in
an instant. Trimesters are a perfect example.
Assuming that the general student body is
unhappy with the situation, and I for one
am not and I know there are other students
who see this system as a benefit, the process
of implementing trimesterisation took some
time. If it were to be unwound (and as I
said I don’t think it should be, which speaks
to another point I will get to below about
personal agendas rather than the student
body as a whole) I really don’t think that is
something that is going to be resolved and
have an impact on next year’s timetabling. I
think it’s just too late in the day for that and
to suggest otherwise is, in my view, foolhardy.
But as I noted at the beginning, I’m happy to
be proven wrong.
With respect to my comments about representation. What I was suggesting I think
was alluded to in the President’s report. I am
not saying David endorses my comments, to
be honest I’m not sure he’d touch them with
a ten foot pole. But he expressed that the
organisation represents a large cohort of students with differing circumstances and needs.
I am concerned that we have some dominant
personalities on this [Moodle] forum, who
are quite forward in communicating their expectations. This is a good thing, there’s been
plenty of commentary about transparency
and there are some valid points made.
My concern arises for a couple of reasons.
First, those that are quite forthright have
shown themselves to be very capable at representing their own interests. More power to
them. Certainly, as any other student they
are entitled to representation by the student
association, but I question whether that
dominance and conviction with respect to a
certain matter will lead to those that are less
forthright not being represented adequately,
and that the organisation and this forum
might be used in such a way as to drive a
personal view point or agenda, rather than
considering the wider student body. I’ve seen
one example where an opinion or view was
sought from the general board, and it was
written off as not being relevant or valid.
This might not have been quite as direct in
other posts, but it does seem to be a recurring theme to me. The student body is much
bigger than half a dozen people.
The other point I was making, is that if you
are very capable or representing your own
interests, and you have expressed a continual
dissatisfaction with the association to the
point where you are continually pointing out
sections of the constitution (again, I’m not
diminishing the validity of these arguments,
simply the way they are put forward), might
I suggest that they read further, to clause
7.1. Membership is not compulsory and a
member may resign. Those who are unhappy
- rather than continually posting in a manner
which to me reads as quite inflammatory and
disrespectful, not to mention unprofessional and are in a position to advocate themselves
might consider that the association is not
of benefit to them. I think it is so important
that we have voices of as many students as
possible. Having said that, while some voices
certainly have some valid points to make, in
my view any value in those comments is lost
as the tone is unnecessarily shrill, alarmist
and in some cases downright rude. I’m not
sure that’s of any benefit to anybody.
That’s my two cents.
Mark
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7
LIH: Look, I’m Here!
(maybe include subtitle here)
Sarita Perston
A
small inner department of UNE has undertaken what can only be
interpreted as a publicity stunt through the release of a controversial document, successfully resulting in a whole lot of talk about the
previously obscure department.
UNE Waives SSAF for Online Students:
A Gift To You?
Sarita Perston
T
he UNE Council has decided not to charge the Student Services
and Amenities Fee (SSAF) to external students as of Trimester 1,
2014.
The SSAF was introduced in 2012 following federal legislation permitting universities to choose to charge the fee, providing that it was
spent within a specified framework of services and amenities beneficial to students and student life.
Over 18,000 students will now longer pay the fee.
To date, a full-time external has paid a $187 yearly
fee (in 2013) and an equivalent internal has paid
$267.
The UNESA President also highlighted the divide that has been created between internal and external students. “A two-tier student experience, external and internal, is a blow to the collegiality that the
Student Association has been working to rebuild… There may now
be much fewer resources to fund those amenities.” One example of
SSAF-funded service is the independent student advocate, who provides advice and assistance and currently represents all students.
“There may now be
much fewer resources to
fund those amenities.”
Vice-Chancellor Jim Barber justifies the decision as
meaning off-campus students are not paying for “services they neither
want nor need”.
However UNESA President David Mailler says that the move jeopardises what the student community has been building towards. “SSAF
was helping the rebuild of student fraternity on which the UNE brand
is based… The trust that the UNE administration had developed with
UNESA is now on shaky ground and some projects that UNESA was
working on are in jeopardy over the decision,” Mr Mailler explained.
The announcement was made three days after confirmation that key
student services, including Tune!FM, independent student advocacy,
and the Secondhand Bookshop, are to be the responsibility of UNESA.
However, Prof. Barber has admitted to The Australian that the decision not to charge externals the fee meant that �the budget of the
students’ association would “take a haircut”’ and that �it would be up
8
to the students’ association to decide what services it dropped.’
But in an email to all staff Jim Barber has stated
that “We expect that any revenue lost to core services subsidized by SSAF will be offset by growth in
UNE’s market share. Moreover, the University has
committed to reinstating funding for those services
that it provided prior to the imposition of SSAF.”
Internal students may well question if this means whether they will
continue to pay SSAF for services that the University will be covering
for external students.
students could be awarded marks for their �resourcefulness’.
But that’s alright because clearly what’s needed for graduates to compete
in a �global market’ is for them to be the nimblest to jump on Facebook,
message as many Friends as possible and come up with the happiest,
healthiest reference list a professional academic could be hoping for.
And god forbid a student include a citation of the traditional and far
too credible Wikipedia.
The �Learning Innovations Hub’, or LIH, came into the spotlight when
the document, titled Impact of Workplace Change on Schools - Consul“…If the students
tation Document, authored and auspend the hour or 2 In its response the School of Science and Technology tacitly noted
thorised by Executive Director of
the Learning Innovations Hub, Pro- hours… phoning a friend, the effect on graduates. “If we give everyone the idea that no one
fessor Eddie Blass, was emailed to
to achieve at least the basic level of competency... because
looking things up on the needs
unit coordinators on 15th November.
they can rely on someone else to tell them, then the only people left
It notifies of the closure of the Des- internet, etc then so be it...” in the world, on whom the rest of us rely, will be people who got
patch unit, previously responsible for
their degrees before 2013.”
printing out assignments and returning marked assignments to students. It then goes on to canvass a moveIt appears the current trend amongst customers – sorry, students – of
ment away from exams as a form of assessment, citing �administrative
wanting a slip of paper that says �I have a university degree’ is unforcosts and difficulties’ as one reason.
tunately founded on a historical reputation that universities provide
good, higher-level educations and actually increase employment opA bevy of confused academics have queried what the two announceportunities.
ments had to do with one another, as well as reacting furiously to moves
that are seen as compromising academic quality.
The NTEU is taking no chances that the farcical document was intended as a joke, probably because four people in Despatch have already lost
Eddie Blass has also come under fire for the tone used, which has been
their present positions. An NTEU branch meeting in early December
described as patronising and abhorrent. Her motives have been quespassed motions strongly objecting to the document and its implicationed, as has her authority to make such decisions in the first place.
tions, including insufficient consultation.
When asked what the role of the LIH department actually was, one lecturer responded, “Well that’s the question, isn’t it?”
The document has also obviously missed a proofread, being scattered
with grammatical errors, logical fallacies, and unsupported arguments.
“If I ask academics why they opt for exams, the number one reason given is that it is the best way to avoid plagiarism,” Prof. Blass notes. “Can
we, as a university, say that we are 100% sure that every student in every
exam centre around the world is exactly the person they say they are?”
Prof. Blass grasps at straws so often in the document that she could very
nearly go about building a straw house; though not one that couldn’t be
blown over by a riled academic. “It is the view of this School that video
presentations are not a feasible tool to assess students’ technical competence,” the School of Science and Technology included in its response,
referring to the document’s suggestion that video presentations provide
one alternative to exams. “The ability to produce a video is a useful skill,
but a minor one compared with the need for scientists, mathematicians
and engineers to get the �right’ answer.”
More information on the SSAF at UNE can be found at
http://www.une.edu.au/study/fees/student-services-and-amenities-fee
Other suggested alternatives to examinations are student peer reviewed
assessment tasks, time-constrained assessment, and the rather peculiar
�assessment rubrics’.
and a list of proposed and confirmed expenditure at
http://www.une.edu.au/for/current-students/costs/ssaf-updates.pdf.
Whether students are expected to undertake rubric-writing as a form of
assessment has not been verified.
Also see the article in Nucleus Issue 7
http://www.nucleus.org.au/articles/hey-ssaf-where-you-at/
The �time-constrained assessment’ suggestion stated that “…If the students spend the hour or 2 hours… phoning a friend, looking things up
on the internet, etc then so be it. That is what would normally occur in
real life so it is a real life assessment task,” and went so far as to suggest
True to form, many academics have also responded to the November
15th document by returning it to Professor Eddie Blass with comments
and corrections.
Prof. Blass responded to the criticism on December 6th. Her response
included the following paragraph (copied verbatim):
“…The document states (maybe paste direct line here)
that it asking people to consider the use of exams …”
At least Eddie Blass is making a name for herself and for the enigmatic
Learning Innovations Hub – and all publicity is good publicity, right?
*Editing Services Available*
Do you have problems with
spelling and punctuation?
tone,
grammar,
Do you find your writing slipping into first
person even in important documents? I know I
do.
Do you need a clearer grasp of logical argument to avoid obvious fallacies when writing
in an academic context?
Have you found yourself working in a university environment where making these mistakes
damages the reputation of your institution,
and by extension undermines the reputability
of its tertiary graduates?
We can help! Just contact us on editors@doyouthinkthisisfunny.com.au
***
9
Structural Changes to Services
Bridgette Glover
UNE
administration will hand over the responsibility of
management of Tune!FM, the Secondhand Bookshop,
and the independent student advocates to UNESA at the commencement of 2014.
This transition will see Services UNE and Sport
UNE move under a single management structure.
Mr Mailler explained that the student association has “endeavoured
to build various partnerships and trusts within the University,” making this directorial development both an achievement and an opportunity. UNESA was officially formed from the undergraduate and
postgraduate associations in the middle of this year.
“...both an
achievement and an
opportunity.”
Services UNE was established in 2005, following
the effect of Voluntary Student Unionism (VSU) on
student amenity, to administer services to students. UNESA President David Mailler is certain that the services that UNESA now has
responsibility for, which cover student wellbeing and engagement,
will “continue to support the student experience and build amenity
and fraternity.” UNESA will continue its managerial responsibility of
Nucleus, as it has since the paper started in January.
The new entity will take responsibility for the
services provided by SportUNE, Campus Essentials, Belgrave Cinema, Grind & Squeeze CafГ©, the
Booloominbah Collection, Sleek Hair Studio and Academic Hire under interim CEO David Schmude.
As the new entity forms, Nucleus will endeavour to keep you up to
date with developments.
UNE Pulls Pin on Wooden
Spooners
Alana Young
UNE
has cancelled its sponsorship of the Parramatta Eels
Rugby League team, following the club’s decision to
accept sponsorship from online sports betting company UniBet.
Chief Operating Officer of UNE David Cushway explained that the
“conflict and confusion that may exist in the brand and identity of
a sports gambling organisation and UNE was a concern for UNE.”
Cushway stated that these concerns were due to the fact that the UniBet logo colour and design are similar to those of UNE.
UNE’s sponsorship of the Eels was established to support a range of
UNE strategies, Mr Cushway stated, listing the “link with Western
Sydney, the UNE Future Campus on Parramatta and UNE’s invest-
PROGRESS 2013
ment in sports science” as key focuses. However, many UNE students
have questioned the appropriateness of an investment in a rugby
league. Although the sponsorship has been terminated, Mr Cushway
has stated that UNE is investigating whether there are other ways
to maintain the link between the Future Campus and the people of
Western Sydney.
So on the 6th of November, seven intrepid Tune!FM Volunteers
boarded a train, then a plane, and found themselves in Melbourne. It
was at that point that I found them.
Ashton, Rae, Kate, Emma, Elizabeth, Olivia, Zoe and I (Claire) were
on our way to the Progress 2013 conference, a two day hotbed of social justice activism, inspirational workshops, and good old fashioned
fun. Our task at this conference was to connect and network whilst
we worked on our specialist radio documentary projects.
With both international and local speakers on a range of topics, we
certainly had a broad base from which we could choose. Incredible
ideas from people like Tim Costello (World Vision), Jeremy Bird
(Obama-Biden Campaign 2008 and 2012), Sam McLean (GetUp!),
Sally McManus (Destroy the Joint), Chris Tanti (Headspace), and
Missy Higgins were hurriedly written down as we raced between
workshops and panels to chat with these notable individuals and
hand out contact details. Thankfully, with eight of us, we managed to
catch a fairly broad spread of the first day’s events, before heading out
to catch Adam Bandt address the conference over drinks. Later that
night, we exchanged notes, ideas, and interesting points back at the
hostel.
The decision has been cited on the grounds of the values of an online
betting company not fitting with those of UNE. If this decision can
be seen as a sign of the University’s ethical stance on investment, then
it may be hoped that all of UNE’s investments will be assessed with an
equal emphasis on ethical standards.
The second day was just as jam-packed. Jane Caro yet again opened
proceedings with Scott Ludlum (The Greens), Mark Davis (SBS), Anita Tang (Cancer Council of NSW), Matthew Bowden (People With
Disabilities Australia), Anne Hollonds (The Benevolent Society), and
Richard Wilkinson (University of Nottingham) all wowing us with
their wit, intellect and compassion.
Before the closing of the conference, we were all handed a piece of
paper folded into an arrow. On them were the wishes and hopes of
school children that we were given to fulfil to the world – an exalting
and daunting task; thankfully, the kid who had written mine had said
that chocolate and love was what the world needed. With this task
in mind, we were then in Dr. Tim Flannery’s hands as he sent us out
into the world with our missions, reminding us that despite the odds,
we could achieve so much in our time if we had just a little courage.
On behalf of all of the Tunies who attended Progress 2013, we would
like to thank Tania Court, Sam Carter, the SSAF committee, and
ServicesUNE for giving us the opportunity to have this amazing experience. I know we all learnt something that will stay with us for life.
- Claire Connors
Huh?
The Catchglance
Reclaim the Night
Bridgette Glover
O
n the 15th of November 2013, men and women of Armidale
marched the streets as a stand against all forms of violence within our society. Reclaim the Night is a global women’s protest against
sexual assault, and since Australia’s first participation in 1978 it has
only grown, now with smaller communities all over the country getting involved. Beardy Street Mall was filled with market stalls, free
food, music and guest speakers, sparking a “great community feeling” within Armidale according to Helen Taylor, a member of the
University of New England Women’s Society (UNEWS).
UNEWS successfully participated in the event by having their own
stall through which people were able to sign up and network, as well
as contribute to a communal quilt. “It was a fun event for UNEWS
to get involved with in the greater Armidale community…and for us to be
present for conversations, no matter
how small,” said Taylor.
What?
Where am I?
11
10
when we do stuff on gender: getting people to think about their own relationships with people, their relationship with their girlfriend or boyfriend,
with their parents, with their sisters, their brothers, and think about what
that tells us about our relationships and how they operate.
�Thirdly I try and make my lectures use a whole bunch of different strategies to make it really experiential. The lectures become real events; people actually do all these different exercises inside the lectures. And then
hopefully people can take that and say “Oh my god, we did such-and-such
today…” and that raises a whole bunch of questions and issues as well.
Unless you do that, people don’t experience it in a way that they can go out
and discuss.’
In Conversation:
James
Arvanitakis
Photo: Iain MacKay
UWS socoiology lecturer
What does it mean to be an academic activist? With a background in
banking and finance, Professor James Arvanitakis, a lecturer at the
University of Western Sydney, is not your average human rights activist. He aims to �teach beyond the classroom’, a powerful idea achieved
through innovative and experiential methods.
Nucleus had the chance to chat to James when he came to UNE in
November to give a handful of lectures and presentations.
That’s a very real, in-the-flesh experience – do you think that’s what it
would take, for a lot of people, to reach that point?
�That’s obviously one thing but at the same time, you gotta go looking for
it; I went to those mines. So it’s not an easy thing to do. And a lot of people
have their daily lives and they have their daily work and they have their
own problems, their own mortgages and stuff like that. So I think one of
the really easy things to do is to just sit there and say, these people are so
naГЇve, they should get into it and become activists and why are they so
frustrating like that … but it’s people’s lives.’
Going from finance and banking to human rights activist is a big
change – how did that change come about for you?
Like you were saying before, it’s about the environment and culture that
directly surrounds you?
�So two things happened. You get caught up in that environment and
yeah, you become that person. So it’s a very competitive, brutal environment, and I became a competitive, brutal guy… It means that you’re
not doing anything illegal but, ethically, it’s all very grey, and you begin
to justify your actions in that way. And so the first thing that happened
to me was that I looked in the mirror one day and I literally didn’t like
who I had become. I took a year off to travel. I witnessed child labour in
mines in Bolivia and seeing kids working in mines, eight year olds carrying rocks, breaking rocks up with their bare hands, for eight hours a day
and then sort of knowing that the economic policies I had promoted and
supported and thought were the solutions to the world’s problems, that
they actually were responsible for that.
�That’s exactly right. And so the question is what interventions can we
make, what can we ask of those people?
�It’s a bit self-referential but when it happened I was driving a German
sports car, right? And when I saw the child labour I asked the folk, what
comes out of those mines? And they said, oh all sorts of metal. And I
said, where do they go and they said all over the world. (I was) chatting
away with the mine manager, the mine guys, and one of them said “Oh
you know, it goes to Germany for car manufacturing and stuff like that…”
I had this realisation that actually the real cost of the car was not the fifty
grand or whatever that I paid for it but actually the lives. That’s when it
actually kind of dawned on me… The same thing about the five dollar
t-shirts that come out of those horrible factories in Bangladesh. We all
want a bargain, but what’s the consequence, what’s the cost? And that’s
when I kind of went, actually, you know, there has to be a better way to
do things.’
�I’m lucky enough that I use my class as a way to connect with students,
I say “This is what I’ve seen, this is what’s happening, this is what you
can do, this is what we can do as a group.” That’s why as a lecturer I believe that I lecture beyond the classroom. Because the lecture that I have,
if done well enough, if appropriately delivered, can be discussed at the
kitchen table, at the dinner table, or in the café, or in the pub, or in the car.’
James Arvanitakis received the Prime Minister’s University Teacher
of the Year Award in 2012. His lectures can include dancing, music
and flashmobs, and he explained that this helps make the impact
necessary to ensure the discussions flow on.
How do you try and teach effectively so that that does happen?
�For me teaching things effectively includes three principles. One is to
make things relevant; the consequence can’t be �over there’. So things like
globalisation: explain them in a way that shows that they’re alive and
around us. Class is not about a dead white guy that talked about it in
1880, it’s about a life experience today.
James teaches in the Humanities department of UWS, a university
at which some 60% of students are the first in their family to attend
university. He explained that he has come to focus on working closely
with first-year students, and finds exposing students to
new ideas hugely exciting.
What kind of challenges do you face then, teaching them?
�Challenges are – the fact that a lot of the students are balancing multiple
commitments, so a lot of the students will work a job or be the primary
carer for their family… they’re trying to balance all that stuff.
�Another real challenge is colleagues, who I think are cynical and bitter and
twisted…
do a lot of community engagement, so it’s kind of trying to find the right
balance that suits you, and I think a lot of academics only specialise in one
area or the other, whereas I’m trying to do all three, and I find that really
hard.’
Lastly I want to get your opinion on what you think the role of student media
is, and what we can do and how?
�I think student media is incredibly important. I’d say there’s a few things.
One is to definitely be a voice for students, with a focus on what students
are experiencing, going through, concerns, challenges, things that are pissing them off and so on.
�Two, to push the boundaries. To really push the boundaries. To talk about
a whole bunch of stuff that doesn’t get talked about – and you can do that
without being crass. But to do that and to also be prepared for a bit of blowback for putting it out there.
�And three is to provide a venue for debate – and here I’m thinking about
reasoned debate; not just petty arguments, but reasoned debate. Sourcing
people’s different perspectives on things, and sort of saying... do you have
a different point of view, would you like to write a response? Saying that
you need a reasoned debate - and providing that, sometimes on the same
page, if you can source that, but other times just getting people to respond.’
James Arvanitakis will (hopefully) be returning for another visit to UNE
in 2014.
�I think the third one is just that I like teaching, I love research and I also
It’s new book time at the Refraction Book Club!
Magic to the Bone by Devon Monk
Reading begins on 5th December for six weeks
Join in the discussion @ https://www.facebook.com/groups/RefractionBookClub/ and listen in on
Thursday nights from 8pm @ www.tunefm.net or 106.9FM in Armidale
Everything has a cost. And every act of magic exacts a price from its user - maybe a two-day migraine,
or losing the memory of your first kiss. But some people want to use magic without paying, and they
Offload the cost onto innocents. When that happens, it falls to a Hound to identify the spell’s caster and Allison Beckstrom’s the best there is.
Daughter of a prominent Portland businessman, Allie would rather moonlight as a Hound than accept
the family fortune - and the strings that come with it. But when she discovers a little boy dying from
a magic Offload that has her father’s signature all over it, Allie is thrown into the high-stakes world of
corporate espionage and black magic.
Now Allie’s out for the truth - and must call upon forces that will challenge everything she knows, change her in ways she
could never imagine...and make her capable of things that powerful people will do anything to control.
“Allie’s internal and external struggles are brilliantly and tighly written, creating a multifaceted character who will surprise,
amuse, amaze and absorb readers.” - Publishers Weekly Starred Review
�The second thing is to get people to not only make things relevant but
also be able to apply them and analyse them from their worldview. So
12
13
TRUTHES OF
MAYONNAISE
There are many mysterious truthes in this world. Almost
anyone can tell you a couple,
whether they’re a student, a
lecturer, the owner of a business or something else completely. An economist will talk
about how the hidden hand of
the market manipulates prices without any conscious human
input. A chemist might say that
one of the smallest building
blocks of matter can change the
most volatile element into a
harmless gas. A psychologist
could tell you that a physicist
would say the same thing as a
chemist. Mathematicians are an
exception to this, given that
they know literally everything.
And we, dear reader, are tell-
ing you that for every three
hundred and fifty people on this
earth there is one twenty-litre
mayonnaise bucket filled with
something that is not mayonnaise. Now, granted, that may
not seem like very many, but
even having one raises far, far
too many questions. To find some
answers we enlisted the help
of one of our local college
kitchens. When we say “enlisted”, we, of course, mean we put
aside our crippling fear of
public conversation and briefly and awkwardly spoke to one
of the chefs who works there.
They quickly admitted that they
indeed did have a twenty-litre
mayonnaise bucket filled with
something that was not mayonnaise. When questioned about it
they simply said that it was
cheaper to buy twenty litres of
mayonnaise than it is to buy
a two-litre bucket, presumably not originally filled with
mayonnaise. Unfortunately, at
that point we remembered that
speaking to people is an experience on par with looking at
spiders and using public transportation, so we made our excuses and ran away screaming to
breathe heavily under a bridge
for an hour. This means we
did not have time to hear why
it was mayonnaise specifically
and not, say, salt, or asparagus, nor what exactly is in the
twenty-litre mayonnaise bucket
that is not mayonnaise, so we
will assume that they simply
refused to answer.
Perhaps, you, dear reader,
might think that this blatant
dodging of questions could be
an isolated incident; however, you would be mistaken. Why,
just a few weeks ago we were
getting free pancakes at the
courtyard when we noticed two
twenty-litre mayonnaise buckets filled with something that
was not mayonnaise. Now, you
may fault us for not asking the
free pancake makers about these
twenty-litre mayonnaise buckets, but we would fault them
for not straight up telling us
about the mysterious contents
and questionable origins of the
buckets. Truly, who are the
victims here?
The only thing we can discern
about these buckets is that
they always seem to be involved
with food of some sort, though
not necessarily for humans. You
see, years ago, before we discovered rap and developed irrational fears, we visited a
wildlife park. In it there was
a man holding, yes, a twenty-litre mayonnaise bucket, and
he was throwing raw meat out of
it to the crocodiles. We asked
him what happened to the mayonnaise inside the buckets, to
which he ominously replied “the
kitchen”, before signalling to
the other workers that we had
asked about the buckets. The rest
of the day consisted of walking
around the park while being followed by the eyes of men wearing
tiny, olive shorts.
After all this we still only
know of one thing ever put into
a twenty-litre mayonnaise bucket and we know next to nothing
about them. Perhaps all kitchens secretly make sacrifices to
some crocodile god, though even
that doesn’t answer all of our
questions. We probably will never know all we feel we need to,
but that alone gives us hope. To
feel that there are mysteries out
there, mysteries irrefutable and
mysterious, mysteries that are
nigh impossible and will likely never be solved. Hunting for
the answer of something like that
would be called, by some, a waste
of time. But to us, it has meaning. Even if we cannot find every
piece of the puzzle, we might get
an idea of what it might eventually reveal. But we cannot be
satisfied by just that. We may
never find the answer; but a step
taken forward is a step not taken
back.
Until next time,
Hoi Sin
Have you heard about the
Integrated Agricultural
Education Project?
The Integrated Agricultural Education Project (IAEP) is building on
UNE’s significant reputation for delivering quality graduates in the
fields of agricultural and animal sciences. With a critical shortage of
skilled professionals in the sector, new degrees being introduced and increasing enrolments the need for improved infrastructure is crucial.
IAEP is one of the largest projects ever undertaken at UNE and consists of
five components:
1. Construction of the Agricultural Education Building (AEB)
2. Development of the Animal Husbandry Precinct
3. Refurbishment and upgrade of Lecture Theatres in the Natural Resources Building, Armidale Campus
4. Development of a SMART Farm at Kirby
5. Upgrade of UNE Tamworth Centre
Funding of $29 million for the Agricultural Educational Program was provided under the Federal Government’s Education Infrastructure Fund
– Regional Priorities Round, with UNE to contribute $8 million, CSIRO
$3.5 million and Tamworth Regional Council $2.4 million in-kind.
There will be some exciting changes happening on campus, starting with
the demolition the Drosophila building and Animal Science Post Graduate Annexe in early 2014 to make way for the new Agricultural Education
Building. In preparation, Higher Degree Research students previously located in the Animal Science Post Graduate Annexe have started moving
into newly refurbished office space in the JFS Barker and Booth buildings.
The UNE International Student Writing Prize
There are 3 categories in the competition:
1. Fiction = Short Stories (500 - 1000 words)
2. Social Commentary = News Articles/Social Issues (200 - 750 words)
3. Poetry = Poems or song lyrics (no word limit)
Each winner (one from each category) will recieve 3 hours of FREE English tutoring
from an experienced ESL teacher.
  Entries close: Friday 10th January, 2014
Winners will be announced no later than Friday 17th January, 2014
For more details (including word limits and rules of entry), come and see us at
UNE International Reception
OR
Email: kylie.mccarthy@une.edu.au
14
Buildings for demolition
11
An American friend reacted in stunned, condescending horror when
he edited an article in which I had included the perfectly reasonable
word �uniquity’. His physical reaction was quite something. His main
issue was how the intended reader, who he saw as the most important
person in the interaction, would not understand the word — therefore
rendering the article meaningless: “You can’t make up a word and just
expect the reader to understand it. I didn’t even know how to pronounce it.”
It’s about context, I argued. You can see the root of the word — it’s a
variation of �unique’. His argument was that if I formulated my sentences correctly, I wouldn’t need to invent a new word. This was about
an inadequate grasp of grammar, not about a creative reimagining of
an existing word. But why does that grammatical structure remain so
important for English, when it can be translated into different language structures and the sender and receiver can still come up with
same meaning?
On the use of Language
By Katy Carlan
in Kenya
Me: How do I say �very’?
�Sana.’
Me: I thought �sana’ meant �many’?
�Very, many, lots, more, all of the time . . .
What was your question again?’
The essence of language is its elasticity. The
English language is mutable; it is evolving,
a living river that is constantly refuelled by
streams that have their source in a vast array of places. There was no definitive point
at which someone said — “Now here is
English”. It’s not like a dinner, which when
it’s done is done. It’s useful because every
word was created at some stage, by someone, used until it was either thoroughly
incorporated into lexicon, replaced by
something better, or forgotten to all but
purveyors of ancient historical texts.
And this is what makes communications work in Kenya — editing reports, writing articles, developing project work plans, producing information material – intriguing. And
problematic for those with a different idea of how to use language.
And I think Kenyans and other East Africans would agree with me
about accepting the mutability of language. As they wryly say, Kiswahili was born in Zanzibar, grew up in Tanzania, fell sick in Kenya, died
in Uganda and was buried in Congo.
I like this saying from the British Library Language & Literature series:
�The English language is a vast flea market of words, handed down,
borrowed or created over more than 2000 years.’ And it is still expanding, changing and trading. Protecting the grammatical structure is important, but creating exciting new words to slot into a tempting space
in that structure is part of the fun of communication. Wrapping your
head around a new structure that suits the unique expressions of a
different culture is equally mind-broadening. Just pray your editor is
open minded…
Katy Carlan is a UNE student currently working as a Gender Research and
Communications Officer with a Kenyan women’s rights NGO.
English is one of the national languages of Kenya, but it’s not English quite as you and
I know it. Rather, it is an intriguing mix of formal language, conservative words and
phrases, Kenyan idioms, phrases translated through the sentence structure of Kiswahili
or Kenyan mother tongue, and plain old English-as-a-second-language errors.
Whilst writing you need to reflect the knowledge of your audience. Whilst editing you
need to respect the author’s style whilst ensuring the document is easily understandable to your audience, who will range from a rural Kenyan woman to a UK-based development partner. Editing must also strike a respectful balance between ensuring the
information adequately conveys its meaning, and smoothing out the contextual creases
whilst keeping the unique writing qualities of the author. This is not to say anything of
the subtleties of respect, formality and emphasis that can potentially be mistaken for
errors.
There’s no room for inflexibility with cross-cultural communications work. In writing,
the creation of phrases that fit within this communications context is a much more
accepted practice than in Australia, where the advent of phrases is derided as mere
publicity or politicking tools, and the invention of new words as questionable attempts
by the youth to subvert Our Hallowed Language.
For example, how do you feel about making up a word? I’ve made up a few in my time,
if I can’t find one that quite fits, and tweaking something a little clarifies the definition.
16
My attitude with learning new languages it to throw all the words at
it. Forget grammar, use everything in your lexicon, throw some mime
in there too. As long as you’re not doing it over the phone you’re fine.
An Argentinean once said to me: “You speak terrible Spanish. But you
speak really really good Spanish body language.”
Addy’s On Marsh
Addy’s on Marsh is one of the most successful little Restaurant/Takeaway businesses in the region. Offering fresh homemade Pizzas, Pastas & Risottos at very affordable prices people can afford to dine out or have yummy takeaways.
Located across from The Whitebull on the main Highway, they provide dine in (BYO),
takeaway and cater for special events.
Addy, (Adam Moore) and crew have been serving Armidale’s discerning pizza lovers
for nearly 3 years from their Gourmet pizza and Pasta Restaurant.
As a young man himself he caters for the student population with his special deals
& functions that he has provided over the years & is open to any new ideas from the
student population & public.
Check out our website www.addys.com.au to view the menu & what Addy’s is all about.
Call us for College, Societies and club function quotes.
6772 2300
17
Boko Moko Tesch Haram
So you’re sitting in the coffee shop sipping your latte and staring at your iPad and
you think you know what’s going on eh?
You flip through some images and read the latest news about some
disgruntled guys in some far away place who are wearing face coverings and brandishing AK-47s and RPGs. They are the enemies, the
story says. Luckily you’re reading some “liberal” journalism so you’re
getting some good in-depth analysis and not just a knee-jerk disregard
of whatever these people stand for. They’ve got a few legitimate grievances you find, but mostly they’re fanatics.
So now you’re informed about some of those pockets of ultra-Islamist
barbarism springing up in parts of the world. You think you might
have even connected some of the dots on your own about why this
phenomenon is happening. Then you scroll down some more and it
gets all fucked up again.
You check out those crazy people in Nigeria who call themselves Boko
Haram. They want a complete overthrow of Western cultural and economic values (Boko Haram literally means “Western education is sinful”) and they are so fanatical about their cause that they vow to kill
anybody who criticizes them.
How is this possible? Even your liberal arts degree knows you can’t
excuse this type of cultural relativism. Our governments, our NGOs,
our peacekeepers, our business leaders are enlightened, right, building
schools for these peoples girls and handing out candy and toothbrushes to their shoeless kids? You tap your finger on the screen which starts
a video where one of these Boko Haram guys says “democracy is not a
decree of God” and “I rejoice in the killing the way I rejoice in cutting
chicken.”
What the hell is with these people? Where does their terrifyingly dystopic logic come from? What is it they want and why do they think
they can get it by bombing government buildings, public squares and
even churches? We in the West are wiser now from our failed soirГ©es
into Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq. We’ve learned to not sow the
seeds of this kind of blowback. Right?
So now you’re left with only one conclusion: “My god they must be
bloodthirsty barbarians, evil creatures who need to be droned into
submission.” But something in you is still not satisfied. And each time
you probe a little deeper you realize that there are billions of people
out there living in a dog-eats-dog state of poverty that we in the West
would find inhuman and unimaginable … you understand that we
have no idea about what it takes to maintain some modicum of social cohesion in these desperate places … and when you delve a tad
deeper you may even start to think that these rebels may actually be at
the cutting edge of a multi-faceted global revolt against Western-style
capitalism: usury, petrol-states, Lady Gaga, Coca Cola, the IMF, World
Bank, that whole decadent, self-serving kaboodle …
Then you click to a mini documentary which shows an African man
who hasn’t eaten for days carrying his half dead goat to market in a last
desperate attempt to buy some food for his starving family … to sell
off the last remaining goat that this year’s drought has not killed yet …
there he sits, on the screen of your tablet, in the hot sun all afternoon
and nobody wants to buy his goat because who wants to buy an emaciated dying goat?
Suddenly you realize the same world that lets a man starve to death in
some no-name place clutching a shitty old goat is the same world that
sells Hummers and air conditioners and $1000 stilettos and Super Big
Gulps less than 24 hours away in any direction from that very same
dying man; the same world that at this very moment offers you travel
deals on the corner of your screen because Google knows based on
how long you’ve been lingering on this page that you are interested in
Africa and maybe want to go there.
You take your hands off the tablet and warm your cold fingertips
against the cardboard to-go cup of your latte. You get a bit angry at
the injustice. You get a bit shameful. You go back to scrolling again …
There is horrific pain, suffering and death happening right now in Nigeria, Niger, Burkina Faso and across Africa and the Middle East and
other parts of the world. You might think that for us in the West things
look bleak: you may lose your job and your house, tuition might go up
and you may not be able to afford your morning lattes much longer,
but in places like Northern Nigeria, climate change induced drought –
largely caused by us in the West – is decimating people by the millions
… And you know it is only going to get worse.
If you’re living, like that guy with his goat, in a world where death is
always lurking just around the corner, then maybe it isn’t so inconceivable that it would one day dawn on you that you too may want to join
Boko Haram?
If so, God save us all...
- KALLE LASN
This piece was originally published in Adbusters, Vol. 20 No.5, Sept/Oct
2012 and is republished with permission.
18
Photo source: http://www.flickr.com/
photos/akrockefeller/7219441626/
Boko Haram
www.adbusters.org.
19
Environment
The Green Gully Track
by Bugs Bunny
Editor’s Note
The Coalition government’s suggestions to cut SSAF and privatise
HECS sparked large protests in September, the most noted of
which were those in Melbourne which resulted in violent clashes
between protestors and police.
Matthew Campbell, an editor of the Monash University paper
Lot’s Wife, was at the protest that sparked into violence. He wrote
a firsthand account for the USyd paper Honi Soit, published November 7th, and previously published on the Lot’s Wife website,
lotswife.com.au, which is reprinted here with Matthew’s permission.
Photo source: HeraldSun
The protest perspective Andrew Bolt was lacking
By Matthew Campbell
M
ainstream media attention surrounding the October 30 student demonstration in Melbourne has tended to downplay the heavy-handed tactics employed
by Victoria Police in arresting demonstrators and attempting to disperse the crowd.
I was part of the demonstration, which saw 100
protestors march from Parliament House down
Bourke Street in protest against the Liberal Government’s inquiry into higher education, which
could see Higher Education Loan Program (HELP)
debt privatised and university places capped.
At the intersection of Bourke Street and Exhibition Street, students burnt two effigies –
one of Prime Minister Tony Abbott and one
of Education Minister Chris Pyne – before
making their way down Exhibition Street to
the Liberal Party Headquarters. Shoes were
thrown at the building as a symbolic gesture
against oppression – adopted from the incident where an Iraqi journalist threw his shoes
at George Bush during a 2008 press conference.
None of these events, according to rally
organiser Sarah Garnham, should have
come as a surprise to the police officers
who, by this point, had us outnumbered
roughly 2:1. Garnham, who is a member of
the Victorian Education Action Network
said that the network had contacted Victoria Police and made them aware the effigy
burning and shoe throwing was to occur.
I personally saw a small number of shoes
hit police officers, but I cannot comment on
whether this was intentional or the result
of bad aim. Seconds after the last shoe was
thrown, police swarmed in to make seemingly arbitrary arrests and disperse the crowd.
One woman passed out from the force used to
arrest her before being carried to a nearby police
van. Police officers are said to have rejected protestors’ concern that she be seen to by paramedics.
20
Barely five metres away from me, a woman fell
down during a scuffle and was trampled on
by a crowd of police officers as they attempted to arrest someone. Half a minute later, a
friend of mine was thrown to the ground near
the gutter by two or three police officers. I remember thinking that if he’d fallen a couple
of inches to the right and hit his head on the
curb, he could have been seriously injured.
The police reaction was met with resistance.
Protestors stood their ground and screamed
at police officers to get off their friends. One
protestor is alleged to have punched a police officer in the face: something that featured heavily in mainstream media reporting.
A spokeswoman for Victoria Police said
that police were in attendance to ensure
the safety of all involved. The force employed by police officers did not suggest this.
Protest leaders decided to direct the rally to
the East Melbourne police station via Bourke
Street to make a formal complaint. This didn’t
eventuate, presumably because no one was sure
made, though accounts vary from two to four.
One of them was Jay Wymarra, Indigenous
activist and 2014 First Nations Officer at the
La Trobe student union. According to a note
he added to his Facebook page that evening,
he was arrested for lighting the effigies and is
currently waiting to find out if he will be formally charged. Protestors argued that this was
racially motivated, changing their chant to
“always was, always will be Aboriginal land”.
Later, walking up Swanston Street, another person was arrested in a nasty snatch-and-grab
move by what looked like eight police officers, as
a wall of police cordoned off perceived resistors.
The demonstration ended in the RMIT university cafeteria where protestors debriefed.
Perhaps the most lamentable aspect of this demonstration is that student action against education
cuts and other issues can only be seen as violent,
misguided lunacy when viewed from the lens of
the mainstream media. Students’ ability to artic-
The headline of the Herald Sun’s editorial
where arrestees had been taken. The destination was changed to the Victorian Trades Hall.
We linked arms and chanted “this is not a police state, we have the right to demonstrate” and
“this is a peaceful protest, that is police brutality” as we moved down Bourke Street, police
boxing us in from all sides. At one point we
were stopped near an intersection and forced
to continue our protest on the pedestrian
walkway. I remember two more arrests being
ulate their struggle has been consistently ignored.
But for many activists, the events of this demonstration has only strengthened their resolve to
fight what they see as an inevitable decimation
of our higher education system by the Liberal Government’s proposed inquiry. That’s the
conversation we should be having right now.
http://www.honisoit.com/2013/11/the-protestperspective-andrew-bolt-was-lacking/
WHERE: Oxley Wild Rivers National Park, NSW; turn off an hour east of Walcha, or 130km west of Port
Macquarie.
WHAT: The Green Gully Track, as it is sometimes or probably always called, is a spectacular 4-day hike
that traverses Green Gully, with simple huts at the end of each day’s wanderings. The loop track starts
on an escarpment but plunges some 900m down into the gully, following Green
Gully Creek during Day 3 before climbing back to the starting point on the final
day, where a trusty cottage awaits.
GROUP SIZE: You undertake the walk with a maximum of six people, booking it
for your own group with the benefit of ensuring you have the huts and the track
to yourselves for the duration.
COST: $80 per person, with a recommendable second night’s stay at the main
cottage for an additional $40. Remember that you may decide to organise
equipment such as a satellite phone or emergency beacon, so consider factoring
these costs in as well.
LENGTH: 65km total, taking 4 days of walking (with some rest either side!).
TERRAIN: There are hills. There are very long hills and there are very steep hills. There are also a few bits without hills
and these are nice but they are kind of nestled in between the hills. (Hence, �gully’).
FITNESS REQUIRED: Whatever it takes you personally to deal with hills. Also maybe toughen your feet up a bit beforehand; try walking on rough gravel or broken glass or, hey, why not hot coals several times a day for a month or six.
Tough feet help prevent an otherwise impressive blister count.
WEATHER: Winter can be challenging, with the multiple creek crossings on Day 3 meaning frosty legs are inevitable,
but each hut has a fireplace and dry firewood ensuring a cosy night. In summer the steep climbs can presumably be
sweltering (I wasn’t there in summer) and the rustic huts and solar-powered electricity don’t extend quite as far as
air-con. The start and the end of the walk offer a slightly cooler setting, whilst Days 2 and 3 are in the more sheltered
gully, without the cool breezes.
THE DOWN SIDE: Day 2’s walk; after the �undulating’ struggle of Day 1, the steep angle becomes quite alarming as you are almost tumbled
towards the underworld.
THE UP SIDE: Day 4’s walk; because having gone into the gully you have to get out again, and that means going up!
SURPRISES: The hot shower at the second hut. The team bonding that occurs. The wild pig that came through at night squealing and screaming (though failing to wake half the crew).
HOW TO DO IT: Book through the National Parks and Wildlife Service (NPWS). I imagine
they have a website or some such useful resource. It’s a reasonably popular walk so you
may not get your first preference for dates but keep trying; not everyone gets what they
want, yeah?
THE EXPERIENCE:
Going around in circles
might not be everyone’s
cup of tea but it sure is
mine. The Green Gully Track will take your
breath away (literally,
them’s some damn steep
hills) but will also give
you a breather, in perfect
glamping (glamorous
camping) style: a rare
detox that hits the ideal
medium between a challenging walk, a healthy
duration away, and the
amenities provided. Mice
included.
Photos: Emma Verhey
21
Why Study Philosophy?
T
By Rory Mayberry
he arguably infinite list of reasons why a person
to and developed these disciplines. Even in mathematics, some of
should study philosophy can never be named in
the greatest advances have been made by philosophers. Philosophy
a short article like this. It may be so that only those
picks out aspects of these systems and goes “Okay, this isn’t work-
freely drawn to philosophy should pursue it. If you
ing, and here’s why.” The philosopher sounds out systems of thought
are new to philosophy, the best entry point I can sug-
to test their validity, giving much needed criticism; poking holes in
gest is the following exercise, which I encourage you to complete at
fallacies, driving disciplines forward, often to the chagrin of lead-
least once before continuing on to rest of the article. Step one: make
ers in the field. Hence, good philosophy is about making trouble.
a hook shape with your index finger, and curl the rest of your fingers
into a loose fist. Step two: position your index finger on the outer-
In a similar vein Socrates’ contemporaries forced a painful death upon
most section of your chin, and comfortably rest your thumb on the
him for imploring the youth to choose resistance over comfort, inde-
side of your jaw. Step three: move your eyes to the upper left quad-
pendent thought over inherited tradition. It was also up to the Greeks
rant in your field of vision and frown, and announce in a low and se-
to first invent a word for describing those who were inclined to stay
rious tone - “Life”. Step four: hold the position but close your eyes and
at home, comfortable, distanced from politics and unconcerned with
begin nodding slowly, murmuring solemnly - ”Mmm”. If you dig the
self improvement: that word is idiot. You should study philosophy be-
feeling you get from doing this, then you should study philosophy.
cause it’s an excellent way of involving yourself with things that matter.
One reason to study philosophy is that you can start from anywhere. It
One reason pertinent to UNE is that you should study philosophy
has no necessary presuppositions. You can say crazy things: the Greek
because they need the numbers. Thanks to the introduction of a ne-
Parmenides denied the reality of change; David Hume attempted to re-
oliberal economic model into the operation of the Australian educa-
fute the necessity of causality; Leibniz, creator of the calculus, believed
tion system, the difference between universities businesses is becom-
that everything in the universe is composed of a single irreducible kind
ing less and less. The unfortunate reality is that, at UNE, Philosophy
of element that’s so tiny that it has no parts. Thanks to a pre-established
is simply not one of the big sellers, and as a result less and less lec-
harmony instituted at the beginning of the universe, these elements
turers are being employed. Its members are internationally renowned
never interact, and only seem to because in each individual one we
and highly accomplished, yet the entire on-campus teaching faculty
find a reflection of all others. Descartes said there is good reason to
now consists of just three people. The triumph in numbers of those
believe that minds can live on without bodies; David Chalmers, a still
who view education as a tool for getting a highly paid job, over oth-
living Australian specialising in cognitive science, Believes your mind
ers who value education for its transformative power, is quite sad.
extends beyond your cranium out into the world. The list is basically
You should study philosophy because a university should be more
endless, depending on who you take to be a philosopher: the Ameri-
than just a factory for churning out a generation’s middle class.
Rupert Murdoch
VERSUS
By Lauren Harrington
J JONAH JAMESON
Media mogul and phone-hacker extraordinaire, Australian-born Rupert Murdoch is no stranger to greedy
opportunism. In 2012, Forbes ranked him
as the 26th most powerful person in the
world; not surprising, seeing as he was
head of the second largest media institution in the world, News Corporation
(�was’ only because in 2013 News Corporation was split into two separate companies: News Corp and 21st Century Fox).
Unfortunately, our dear friend
Murdoch doesn’t know that with great
power comes great responsibility. In
2011, News Corporation’s UK paper,
News of the World, was caught up in
a phone-hacking scandal, as it was revealed
employees had tapped phones of celebrities, members of the British royal family,
as well as victims of the London bombings, all in pursuit of publishing stories.
More recently, Murdoch—who
owns 70 percent of all Australian newspapers—was accused of using his newspapers’ interests to influence the public
into voting Liberal in Australia’s September election. Rupert Murdoch is, as my
mother would say, a “real piece of work”.
MEET J JONAH
JAMESON
But is he the worst?
Editor-in-chief of fictional New York newspaper
The Daily Bugle, the Marvel Comics character is
most often seen yelling at Peter Parker, a photojournalist who just so happens to be the only
photographer in New York able to snap pictures
of your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman.
can tripper Terrence McKenna believed that psilocybe mushrooms are
doors to other dimensions, and the goal of taking them is to colonise
Much of the usual spiel around why people should study philosophy
the hidden landscapes of these realms by telepathically planting your
involves lauding the skills of critical thinking, logical rigour, formulat-
own hallucinatory mind-spores in their ground. Terrence theorises that
ing convincing arguments, uncovering tacit presumptions, etc. These in
other-dimensional tripper-beings have done precisely this on our plan-
themselves are invaluable, however they relate to the form of philosophy,
et, leaving their mind spores in our earth in the form of shrooms. Kind
not its content. It doesn’t matter that you probably won’t get a paid job as
of like that TV show Sliders. But these are just a few examples. The basic
a philosopher, or that you’ll, in all likelihood, never actually become one.
point is that because philosophers get to investigate things which aren’t
Regardless of where you go, the skills you acquire will inevitably be put to
always testable, the reference point is not always - is it true? Rather,
use in whatever you choose to do. They’re almost ubiquitously applica-
is it interesting? Significant? Remarkable? Does it enhance your life?
ble, and employers do value them. To finish with a quote, Marcel Proust
Like Murdoch, Jameson is also a greedy opportunist, determined to use his position as editor
to fuel his smear campaign against Spiderman,
and will stop at nothing to reveal the no-good
vigilante for the public menace that he is (the
fact that news about Spidey sells an awesome
amount of papers is beside the point, of course).
said that “the real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landReally you should study philosophy because through it you can
scapes, but in having new eyes.” The most important reason is that if it’s
speak truth to power. Part of the job of philosophy is to criticize
approached in the right way, philosophy will make you a better person.
powerful systems of influence like science, politics, and law, with the
22
16
18aim
to advance them. Indeed it was philosophers who put names
Photo source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/46922409@N00/308920352/
Thinking at Hell’s gate
So both media tycoons deal in slander and trickery—but which is
worse? The answer in my mind is clear. Rupert Murdoch owned 20th
Century Fox and they cancelled Firefly. I’m never getting over that.
Jameson even uses pictures Parker has taken
of Spiderman out of context, in order to paint
him as the villain (Rupert Murdoch did something similar this year when Photoshopped
images of Labor ministers in Nazi uniforms
appeared on the front page of his newspapers).
23
Christmas is fast approaching and with this comes the awkward end-of-year work functions, the beloved-yet-dreaded family gatherings and .
. . well, you name it, the excuses to be merry can go on. Now, the one thing these �dos’ have in common is alcohol. This golden �moonshine’ has been a
part of human’s lives for centuries. However, while we may have the drinking part mastered, there may be many of you out there – such as myself –who
have no idea what we’re actually pouring down our thirsty hatch!
Now, if you payed attention in middle school science you would be aware that alcohol is formed by the simple process of �fermentation’: the conversion of sugars (carbs) to ethanol and carbon dioxide via a catalyst (yeast). Therefore, all alcoholic beverages- port, whisky, rum, wine, beer… should
be the same right? That could not be a more incorrect statement; in fact,
WINE
there are so many different types of alcohol and processes of production
Who hasn’t spent longer than
they planned choosing a bottle
that I’d have to write a thesis to jot them all down! But I can at least enof wine? I mean all those different names, flavours, food
lighten you on some of the basic profiles so you know a little about what it
pairings…
is you are drinking at your upcoming Christmas festivities.
You’ll find that wines are generally classed by colour: red,
white, or for the slightly learned out there, RosСђ. Well done,
BEER
you are successfully on the road to being fluent in wine-talk!
This popular little drop is brewed mainly from a mixture of
You see, if the skins remain with the juices during fermenmalted barley (�malted’ meaning to soften the grain and to allow it to
tation then a red wine will be produced (due to pigment
germinate, making the grain sugars and enzymes available for brewreleased by the skin). But it is also possible to make a white
ing), hops, yeast and water. Other sources of fermentable carbs (e.g.
wine out of red grapes, as long as the skins are removed.
maize, wheat and rice) and other natural ingredients can be
Traditionally, wines were classified by their origin, and
added to give other flavours and styles.
this is still the case in Europe. For example, Chianti and
Although it may seem simple, don’t let it fool you:
Bordeaux reflect regions in Italy and France respectively.
beer can be just as complex as wine! It is initially classified
In countries outside Europe, wines are more likely to be
under two types, depending on the yeast used during the
classified by varietals: that is, the main grape used to make
brewing process; ale, which requires warm temperatures and
the wine, such as Chardonnay, Cabernet Sauvignon, Shiraz or Merlot.
quickly ferments, and larger, which is fermented for longer
To add to the confusion, if the main grape accounts for less than 80%
utilising cold conditions. Brown ales and stout are examples
of the wine, it becomes a blended wine, for example, Chardonnay-Viof ales, whereas pilsners and bock are lagers.
ognier.
Sparkling wines are those that contain carbon dioxide (CO2)
PERRY
that is naturally occurring due to the fermentation process (these are
CIDER
The fermentation of pear juice
the expensive ones) or has been force-injected later on (such as the
The fermentation of apple juice
well-acquainted Passion Pop).
You may also have heard and perhaps used the terms �Dry’
MEAD
and �Sweet’. These describe wine based on the amount of residual sugar
Also known as �honey wine’. The
present in the wine after fermentation. This is relative to the acidity
fermentation of honey and water
of the wine which is dependent (mostly) upon the type of grape used.
combined with a grain mash. After
SAKE
Thus, only certain white grape varieties are usually used to make desthe initial fermentation, the mash
Rice-based
fermented drink (but
sert wines, as they contain a lot more sugar and lower levels of acidity.
is strained and flavouring is often
the
word
�sake’
in Japanese actu
Port, Sherry, Madeira, Marsala, Vermouth and Muscat are
added (spices, fruit or hops, the
ally refers to alcoholic drinks in
latter giving a bitter, beer-type
what’s known as �fortified wines’. These have a higher sugar and alcohol
flavour).
general - we have simply adapted
content via the addition of a spirit such as brandy during fermentation.
the word to refer to this particuSPIRITS
lar drink).
A distilled beverage that contains no added sugar and at least 20% alcohol by volume.
WHISKY: distilled from fermented grain mash. Different grains account
for the different varieties of whisky (barley, malted barley, rye, wheat, etc). It is typically aged
in wooden casks made of charred white oak.
BRANDY: distilled from fermented grain mash. Different grains account
for the different varieties of whisky (barley, malted barley, rye, wheat, etc). It is typically aged
in wooden casks made of charred white oak.
RUM: the distillation of sugarcane juice or by-products such as molasses which is then
aged in oak barrels
TEQUILA:
distilled beverage made from the blue agave plant (found in the
surrounding areas of the Mexican town of Tequila).
24
Jade Hamilton
Bachelor of Education (Primary)
I always felt that university was going to be out of reach. I didn’t finish high school—I
had both of my babies in my teens. But a friend encouraged me to apply to UNE for its
Primary Education degree. That would have been seven years ago now; my youngest was
just a newborn. Now I’m in my sixth year of study: I’ve had time off, changed degrees,
even tried on-campus with a different university, but I came back after just a semester. In
my spare time I love to crochet, but I don’t get to do it anywhere near as much as I’d like!
Study to me means coffee. Lots of coffee. Late nights. Early mornings. It means sitting at
swimming lessons or at the park with the kids with a textbook or notes to read over. Or
when my kids were younger, I’d read them my textbooks in silly voices – they thought it
was hilarious! I’ve studied in emergency departments, and paediatric wards while the kids
slept, in the audience at school assemblies while waiting for performance items. I find that
more organisation and motivation is needed for off campus study. Having things ready to
go at the drop of a hat is essential. It is so easy to get caught up with life, and to let study go by
the wayside. But when things can be easily picked up for unexpected doctor visits, or extended time spent waiting in the car, it makes spending time on my studies so much easier.
One thing I love about distance education is that I can do things in my own time, when it
suits me. I try to get ahead where possible, but that’s not always the case! Facebook can be a
great procrastination tool; however, it’s also been a pillar of support throughout my degree.
I’ve made many lifelong friends through social media and university. I rely
on Facebook groups for individual units where we can discuss the content
in an informal setting. I’m also a member of a group for local students of
UNE, which is great: we meet up frequently, and it makes distance study
not so isolating. It’s also great when we meet up to study while our kids play
together—though it can be debatable how much study gets done. Another group that I’m a part of on Facebook is Mums@UNE, which is a group
of mums, all studying with UNE, all different disciplines, but all tied together by the common factor of trying to juggle kids, home life and study.
I’ve seen a lot of changes during my time at UNE, from predominantly print-based mediums and Blackboard, to Moodle and entire course
content being delivered online. I’ve spent time at the university for residential schools—which were so much fun, even though I missed the
kids heaps. The next time I’ll be on campus is when I graduate in 2015! I
dare say I’ll be back to UNE for postgrad studies, probably in IT, another passion of mine, but for now, I can’t wait to get out there and teach!
LIQUERS
A distilled alcohol that has been flavoured with fruit, cream, herbs, spices,
flowers or nuts and bottled with
added sugar. It is thus sweet and
not aged for long (Kahlua, Tia
Maria, CrГЁme de Cacao, Jagermeister,etc).
Dramaturgy Christmas Special
Hello Listeners! As you probably know, Dramaturgy is currently on hiatus but, because we firmly believe in the silly season being . . . well . . . silly, we’re attacking the airwaves on Christmas Eve, with a repeat performance on Christmas day
itself, to bring you the Dramaturgy Christmas Special! Join Digger Gillespie, Smythe and Oddlington, Pirate Man, and the
crew from Guest Small Concavity for festive tom-foolery on TuneFM!
GIN: this spirit began in the middle ages as a herbal medicine, and its distinct flavour is
derived predominantly from juniper berries
VODKA: the distillation of anything fermented (sugar, fruit, potatoes). To earn their
name, they traditionally should have an alcohol content of at least 40% (but we Aussies are apparently
too irresponsible to be trusted with such high alcohol contents!)
Student Profile
WANTED: ALCOHOL
By Monica
Fortunaso
24th and 25th December!
6pm
TUNE!FM - 106.9 in Armidale or stream online at http://www.tunefm.net/listen.php
25
(college) Recipe
Chocolate Caramel Slice
By Ashley Pianca
Ingredients
- 250g Packet Plain Biscuits
(I used Nice)
It was the author Peter Williams who advised us that “It is a risk to love. What if it
doesn’t work out? Ah, but what if it does.” It
is this attitude that I apply to all my cooking endeavours, whether I am making up
a new creation or throwing together an
old favourite. Regardless of whether I have
made the same recipe hundreds of times or
am working out a new one, there is (as with
everything) always room for error, the opportunity for mistake and the possibility of it
not working out - yet I never let that stop me.
With this month’s recipe, like all my culinary exploits, I was once again confronted
with the idea of creating a mess without an
edible product to show for it as I wanted to
adapt an old favourite recipe into a version
that is easy and uses minimal cooking facilities to cater to college life. Fortunately I was
successful the first time as I never let the
possibility of failure interact with my efforts.
Chocolate caramel slice
and oh so yummy – not
fact that it is perfect for
or, for all those braving
a wonderful study snack,
is fun, gooey
to mention the
a holiday treat
trimester three,
or study break.
- 245g Butter
- 800g Condensed Milk
- 2/3 cup Brown Sugar
- 1 Block of your choice of chocolate (I used Cadbury Milk)
Base
1) Finely crush biscuits (this is best achieved by placing the packet
of biscuits in layers of freezer bags and crushing with a rolling pin or
something heavy). Then place them in a bowl.
2) Melt 125g of butter in a microwave and mix into the crushed biscuit.
3) Grease and line a tray or container and press the mixture evenly
into the base.
4) Place in the fridge.
Caramel
1) Pour condensed milk, 120g butter, and brown sugar into a large jug
or microwave-safe bowl and roughly combine.
2) Cook in microwave for approximately ten minutes or until mixture
boils and thickens; however, take it out every minute or so and stir
thoroughly.
3) Remove base from fridge and pour caramel over it.
4) Place back in the fridge until it cools and sets. Then make topping.
Topping
1) Break chocolate into small pieces and place in a microwave safe
bowl.
2) Melt in the microwave. Note: It does not take long for chocolate to
melt in the microwave, so make sure you stop it every ten seconds or
less and stir to prevent burning.
3) Remove set caramel and base from fridge and pour the melted
chocolate over it.
4) Refrigerate slice for approximately 3 hours before cutting and serving.
26
Photo: Stu Horsfield
Editor’s note: The picture used is of the slice that Alana made - a baker she is not. Despite how . . . wonky
it looks, we can assure you that it tastes delicious, and
reassure you that Ashley’s recipe is wonderful and
works perfectly.
Dalloway.
The Grasp
Bridgette Glover
By Julian Georges
Mold the symbols, hang the signs,
Monster in face, monster in soul,
Behold the man who takes control,
His disdain makes him blind to art
His power makes his heart grow cold,
To know the truth, he must let go,
Of all possessions new and old,
Although his ego’s brave and bold,
To understand humanity,
In present purpose climb the vines,
Praise ancestors of noble race,
They gave us gifts of golden shrines.
In memory promote those times,
Our hunger dances to their rhymes,
As they sought through forests of pine,
So we too must entwine the Earth,
Absorb through truth its inner light.
Cowards murder, saviours cry,
A man in robe stands in their sight,
The monster comes in curious wake,
He can’t see past an aged disguise.
The holy man forbids their crime,
Tells of karma’s dance with time,
But monster’s sword has left his side,
To pierce his brother’s beating heart,
And realise who has really died.
He must release his inner hold.
They gallop for death, with chains and knives,
Dreamer by night, lover by day,
The monster’s brother gone astray,
Tired of them denying his dreams,
His passion disowned by their claim.
So in the fields he ran away,
Discarded all possessions made,
Discovered love through nature’s aid,
He taught to all who’d hear his call,
That beauty stands in love’s true frame.
The monster’s war is on the rise,
Equipped to conquer all the land,
In the name of God or pride?
His men follow in eager stride,
Reach a city calmed by the tide,
With fire in heart and evil mind,
They pillage those who block their path,
With no guilt there to leave behind.
Opaque sunset, gold sunrise,
G OD OR
Sound the bell, for whom it tolls,
It’s chambers chain our buried souls,
It’s driver grips man by the throat,
For what is fear without a god?
For withered hands of screaming poor,
We must ascend our ship afloat,
And spirit’s seas sail once more.
But perception hides in your mind,
PRIDE
In search of the door covered in white,
You stain it with your brother’s blood,
In selfish thought of your own plight.
So what is it even about?
Ok, so Mrs Dalloway is a story
about Mrs Dalloway. Shocker. First name Clarissa, she is
a 51 year old London socialite
who spends the day wandering
about the city and preparing for
a
party she is hosting that June nigh
t in 1923. Clarissa does a hell
of a lot of soul searching on this
particular Wednesday, which is
probably because of that bloody
Peter Walsh. He’s just a dude
After a couple of reads you wor
k out that this grey ghost
of a man was kind of like Clariss
a’s double in a way, and if
he didn’t pack his bags and leav
e the island then she would’ve.
You could say that this sacrifici
ng of the male to further develop
the
character of the female is Woolf
’s clever feminist ploy. Or you
could
say that someone who comes to
that kind of conclusion has atte
nded one-too-many English Lit clas
ses. Curse you Tom Bristow!
You will love it if: You’re unsure
about your sexuality ; you’re agei
ng
gracefully and you hate it; you
feel invisible.
You will despise it if: You can’t
get past long sentences; you’re
mentally unstable.
Difficulty level: It’s just over a hun
dred pages - you can do it!
Other titles you might enjoy: The
Bell
Jar by Sylvia Plath
Best line: “She felt very young;
at the same time
unspeakably aged.”
Our search for meaning can’t decline,
Look for your eyes, cry for your sight,
You battle those of your own kind,
Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
(1925)
So you may or may not have hea
rd of Virginia Woolf, but
she’s kind of a big deal. In a nut
shell, she was an English writer
born
in 1882 who was pretty much
crazy from the get-go. She’d had
seve
ral
nervous breakdowns in her sho
rt life but was content for a mom
ent
after marrying a man who, alth
ough penniless, was incredible
in
bed; oh and she also had a flin
g with a chick. Each of these defi
ning
moments clearly served as insp
irations for her writing (especia
lly
Dalloway). Anyway, she lived unt
il 1941 when she became depress
ed
again; she put some stones in her
coat pockets and drowned hers
elf
in a river...
So now you understand the auth
or, you might get this book a little more. Maybe. Probably
not.
Life’s struggle seems a sunken boat,
Without darkness there is no light,
Have you realised who you fight?
There are countless novels that,
as university students, we are “sup
posed” to have read. We are in
a hub of higher thinking and the
classics
are apparently our go-to educato
rs on the ways of life and love. Wel
l
shit, who’s got the time? In betw
een our exams and assignments
and
required reading, are we really
expected to schedule in a one-onone
with the world’s classic canons?
I don’t think so. So here it is, the
answer to your time-pressed pray
ers: life’s essential reading in one
convenient column.
You’re welcome.
who proposed marriage to Cla
rissa when they were younger
and
she rejected him for the more
reliable Richard Dalloway. How
ever,
the reader eventually comes to
learn that there was someone else
in
Dalloway’s life – Miss Sally Seto
n. But alas, she had a vagina so
that
was doomed from the start. So
basically Clarissa went on to hav
e
a family with safe Rich and regr
et it forever. It’s difficult when
so
many people love you. However
, while Clarissa’s little soap ope
ra
continues for the rest of the day
, veteran Septimus Warren Smi
th
(great name right?) is basically
losing his mind. Only five
years after WWI ended, he’s basi
cally hit breaking
point and after being committed
involuntarily to the
psych ward he decides to jump
out a window. Despite
Clarissa and Septimus never kno
wing each other, his
passing totally puts a downer on
her party.
Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special:
�The Day of the Doctor’
Firstly, as a fan, let me say: “IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!” Next, as a more
objective party, let me say the following: great fun, brilliantly paced;
although it was an extended feature, it did not feel like one at all.
We begin with a revisit, of sorts, to the First Doctor and the
first episode of the show (I phrase it thus because, resultant
of the 2005 reboot, the season numbers have gone all wibbly-wobbly season-weasony), at Coal Hill School where we
first met Susan Foreman – the First Doctor’s granddaughter – 50 years ago, and where current companion Clara is
now teaching.
Jump forward, and UNIT have carried the Doctor and
Clara away to investigate some strange goings-on regarding
paintings whose subjects have escaped.
Jump back in time to the legendary Time War, where we
meet the much questioned War Doctor, and see the TARDIS used as never before in the fall of Arcadia!
Jump forward again to present day England and we discover the relationship between the Tenth Doctor and Queen Elizabeth 1.
Then jump back to 16th Century England and the development of this
royal relationship, and we meet the Zygons!
By Millie Graham
Then, in classic Doctor Who style, the First Doctor, the Eleventh
Doctor, and the Twelfth Doctor are thrust together. And then the fun
begins.
Let me say this: David Tennant in a fez.
The dynamic between these three reads like poetry... by
Lewis Carol. Mad, nonsensical, but perfectly harmonised
and beautiful. Questions are answered, questions are left
unanswered, new questions are asked. The double plot
of the Time War and the invasion of the Zygons at first
seems disjointed and like a poor attempt to draw on the
classic storylines to feed the new, but they actually work
like a pair of shoes: separate, but unified. The destruction
of Gallifrey brought about mixed emotions, but the execution was magnificent and the incorporation of the Bad
Wolf Girl was delightfully clever. All Whovians will lose
their nut watching this, and I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, but
non-fans and even casual viewers will find it difficult to
follow. This really is a flick for the loyal.
Overall, it was fantastic! Oh, and if this review seems vague or disjointed, then . . . well, when has Doctor Who ever been clearly defined?
Also . . . Spoilers!
creative writing & thought
The Adventures of Arabella Henderson
UNE Time Detective
Episode 2: A Stained Reputation
ment,’ he replied. �There are no corpses here.
ing entirely. It sat as a small pile of ash on
Unless I find out who’s been spilling chemi-
the well-polished laboratory floor. Professor
cals on my beautiful yellow lockers.’
Hardnose pointed a shaking finger at it.
tery!’ proclaimed The General, with en-
�Mess!’ he screeched. �Mess in my
�This is the Chemistry Depart-
�Why, That Sounds Like A Mys-
laboratory! I’ll fine you for this!’
thusiasm (as denoted by the exclamation
mark).
Having extracted himself from the
forwards and got down to examine the ashy
�May I have your assistance?’
both interlopers and vehicle became gradually more
mess in question. He began with an ocular
the Chemistry Department. Students were shoving one
corporeal, before finally becoming so real that every-
assessment, first unaided and then again
rying a bubbling test tube. He was a short,
another, pushing through the narrow doors in a frenzy,
one could hear the sound of the pedals moving incred-
with his pocket magnifying glass. With a
moustachioed gent, of indeterminate age
such was their enthusiasm for education. It was June
ibly fast, though the bicycle did not move at all.
magnification of six thousand, this magni-
and resplendent in his white lab coat, a gen-
1950 and gee whizz! Learning was just about as hip as
�I say!’ said the fellow astride the rear seat.
fying glass had a diameter of three metres,
uine, bona fide, honest-to-goodness replica
poodle-skirts and the blues, Daddy-o!
�Arabella! I do believe we have reached our destination.’
but The General had very large pockets. He
of the one worn by Pierre Curie on his wed-
Arabella Henderson stopped pedalling in
continued by dusting the ash with a finger-
ding day.
cal laboratory, fighting for the best seats near the front,
alarm. A Time Detective from the year 2013, she had
print brush before finally dipping his finger
Professor Hardnose watched them carefully, examining
travelled back to 1950 on her Time Bicycle, in order
into the ash and tasting it - after sending a
Butler to show Arabella and The General
them with the kind of suspicious confusion that most
to solve a modern mystery involving a skeleton bur-
bystander out to fetch him the appropriate
the chemical stains on the lockers. Students
people save for unexplained clothing stains or new and
ied under the new college. Accompanying her was The
wine, of course. Having concluded that the
crowded around, thrilled to watch detectives
exotic foods. He clapped his hands once and the as-
General, a career student with a wide general knowl-
ashes were indeed complemented by a 1947
at work. Arabella noted the stains, looking
sembled students immediately fell silent, gazing upon
edge base and an enthusiasm for Mystery. Due to his
Sauvignon Blanc, he announced the results
above and around the lockers, searching for
their Professor with the kind of reverence a modern
ergophobia, however, Arabella tended to do most of the
of his detective work.
leaks and suspicious clues. The General did
educator can only dream of.
Mystery Solving.
�I believe this mess was left by a
his usual ocular assessment, before sniffing
Not being accustomed to either time travel
man in his late thirties. He is around five
one of the stains and then calling for a pinot
or hard cardio, The General had found that his legs
foot eleven inches, plays the cello and walks
noir.
a lack of respect for our facilities.’
were not ready for the sudden sensation of being made
with a slight limp. He is a professional wres-
of custard. He collapsed to the floor.
tler, he likes piГ±a coladas and getting caught
grabbing his arm.
white, well starched button up shirt and horn-rimmed
in the rain.’
glasses. That’s what they wear in all those black and
with the sweat making his shirt cling to his chest, The
�Actually that was my business
rimmed glasses attracted the attention of
white movies, anyway, so we can assume that’s what
General was immediately helped to his feet by five
card,’ Arabella told him. �I gave it to this
the detectives, because it doesn’t do to ar-
he was wearing. He raised his hand and waited until
young women. As they lifted him by his arms, he eyed
gentleman earlier, while you were flirting
bitrarily introduce a minor character and
called upon before he spoke. �Do you mean the chemi-
them with suspicion.
with those women.’
then forget about them altogether.
cal stains on the lockers, Professor?’
There were as many as five automobiles parked outside
As the enthused students entered the practi-
�It has come to my attention,’ said Professor
Hardnose, �That a number of students continue to show
A young man down the front wore a plain
�I do indeed,’ said Hardnose. �There are yet
more brown stains ruining the extremely attractive yel-
As he was a tall, handsome chap and what
�They’ve captured me!’ he yelled. �Run, My
�What women?’ asked The Gen-
�Detectives!’ he called, because
�Look at this!’
Ignoring The General’s cries of alarm, she addressed
Hardnose. �We are looking for a dead body,’
young man. �It looks like vomit.’
the entire laboratory in her the poshest voice she could
she said.
conjure.
nose told him. �I am ahead of my time. Now, as I was
saying, a number of students continue to cause dam-
Arabella Henderson, Time Detective and I require your
age to the laboratory by spilling volatile chemicals and
co-operation.’
failing to clean up after themselves. Also, there are two
transparent people riding a bicycle at the back of the
ominous greeting.’
room.’
�Salutations to you, Students of the Past. I am
�Gosh,’ said Professor Hardnose. �That’s an
Reaching for her business card, Arabella ap-
The entire class turned to look at the back
proached the Professor. He looked her up and down,
wall. Sure enough, the Professor was correct. Normally,
taking in her modern-day ensemble with his conserva-
that wall would contain nothing but a poster depicting
tive 50s eyes. Handing him the business card, she took
the four known chemical elements, Nitrogen, Urani-
three steps backward.
um, Helium and the Element of Surprise. The poster
was still there, but in front of it stood a most peculiar
�Vice-Assistant-Junior-Administrative-President, UNE
sight. A coruscant pink tandem bicycle sat stationary in
Mystery Solver’s Club. For every Mystery, throughout
the middle of the room. It was partially transparent, as
History. This business card will self-destruct in thirty
were the two figures riding it.
seconds…’
As the students and their lecturer watched,
The young man in the horn-
back in time?’
�In the 70s, this will be very de rigeur,’ Hard-
�Don’t taste that,’ said Arabella,
er, Arabella was easily able to alight from the bicycle.
�Arabella
Henderson,’
he
read
aloud.
As he threw the business card away in alarm,
____________
Dear GNSAD,
In light of the policy of the incoming Government, I have
decided, as a woman, to quit my degree and focus on settling
down and having babies. Leaving education is the easy part,
but I have been brainwashed by feminists, and now I don’t
know how to find a husband. Where should I go to meet one?
I am not good at cooking, but I like to keep the house tidy
and look good in 50s fashion. Perhaps I could go to finishing
school? Am I too old for a debutante ball?
Professor Hardnose directed Mr.
Faithful Servant! Save Yourself!’
An experienced time traveller and bike rid-
GNSAD
The lab assistant entered, still car-
that’s how you attract someone’s attention.
low décor.’
�This décor is not that attractive,’ said the
�Mr. Butler!’ the Professor called.
eral, looking around him. �I say! Did we go
30
If you like her writing check
out The Man In Room 13:
http://themaninroom13.
wordpress.com/
green for a few moments before disintegrat-
helpful young ladies, The General stepped
It was a typical Monday morning at the New England University College.
Neucleus, June 28, 1950.
by
Kate
Wood
Kate has a blog! A blog? Yes
a blog!
it spontaneously combusted, burning bright
To be continued...
Coruscant
Hmmm, interesting, NOT! I’m sick of you totally gross humans and your groin grinding, but I guess here I am answering another question about it. You are in fact too young for
a debutante ball - anyone born after 1936 is too young for a
debutante. I can’t even believe that’s still a thing. Since you
seem happy to focus on the kind of outcomes you want and
not the kind of person you want to let stick their uncovered
genitals inside you, why don’t you just make up a to-the-point
personals add - try: “Hello I need a person with viable sperms
to impregnate me.” Stick it up everywhere that people with
sperm hang out (supermarkets, bus stops, sperm banks).
Before you know it, you’ll have your pick of the fertile crop!
Good-luck and remember to check it for spots!
- GNSAD,
GNSAD@nucleus.org.au
Arabella turned back to Professor
A Word with Judd
Yours Femininely,
Miss O. Gyny
Editor’s note: We apologise for the GNSAD’s somewhat crude tone.
We’re still rebuilding himher, and those pesky Cleo and Cosmopolitan files are still causing trouble; apparently they don’t mix well
with the �Cynicism.exe’ file we added the other day.
Some things sparkle. Yes, I know, hard to believe. This,
however, poses a problem; what should we call said
sparkly object? We could say �sparkly’ – but that is not
really a word, and is quite droll. As with so many things
English offers us an abundance of choices – glistening,
gleaming, shining, twinkling, etcetera and etcetera,
but one word you may never have thought of is �coruscant’. It means the same thing as all the other words
mentioned before, haha, but sounds like it sparkles
with a sinister undertone (that or the trapped voices
of the local choir... which may be a good thing). So if
you want to impress your friends and terrify your enemies or just give a new name to that thing Twilight
vampires do in sunlight, then �coruscant’ is the word
for you.
Ergophobia
Bureaucracy, bureaucracy, bureaucracy – this is the word
embedded into the life of every Australian in the 21st
century. If I was feeling particularly spiteful, I would say
that this Word with Judd applies to bureaucrats – but that
shall remain to be seen. The word in question is quite a fun
one, �ergophobia’, which means to have an aversion to, or
a fear of... work. The reason this has anything to do with
bureaucracy is just how much bureaucracy allows people
to avoid doing work. If somebody cuts their finger, thanks
to the marvels of bureaucracy, a twenty-page report must
be filled in. If you earn any sort of income and need to report that to Centrelink, it provides the perfect excuse not
to work on that assignment which is two days overdue.
You could of course use this word to mock a person who is
quite lazy, but why not poke fun at the system if you can?
31

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