Г‰Dealing with Difficult Г‰Hoarding and How People in the Workplace to Cope +(1)!Ж«Д†Ж«Д‘Ж«//1!Ж«Д‚Ж«Ж«.$ДҐ,.%(Ж«Д‚ДЂДЃД‚ Г‰Win Smile Assistance from Dr. Stephen MarkusвЂ™ Center for Dentistry The Thinking WomanвЂ™s Magazine Vote for Deidre Hall SEE PAGE Talks About the Days of Her Life $3.95 13 THE CHANGE ADDRESS OF that вЂ™ll change MomвЂ™s life Imagine if, instead of spending time taking Mom or Dad to the doctor and keeping their house in order, you could simply enjoy your time together? At Five Star Senior Living, we change familiesвЂ™ lives every day by helping them do just that. As women, we take care of everyone around us, but sharing that responsibility can truly be the best gift youвЂ™ll give your parent. O UR C OMMUNITIES P ROVIDE : 9 Personal care and assistance with everyday activities 9 An active lifestyle complete with fine dining, trips, fitness programs, and entertainment 9 Choice of beautiful apartments in a modern neighborhood setting 9 Safety, security, and the support of our team 24 hours a day Visits are much more wonderful WHEN YOUR PARENTвЂ™S ADDRESS IS A FIVE STAR COMMUNITY. C ALL US TODAY TO R ESERVE A C OMPLIMENTARY LUNCH AND SEE HOW! CHERRY HILL SENIOR LIVING 490 Cooper Landing Road 9 Cherry Hill, NJ 9 856-482-9300 Assisted Living 9 On-Site Rehabilitation VOORHEES SENIOR LIVING 501 Laurel Oak Road 9 Voorhees, NJ 9 856-566-2340 Assisted Living 9 On-site Rehabilitation WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP SENIOR LIVING 600 Medical Center Drive 9 Sewell, NJ 9 856-582-8700 Assisted Living 9 On-site Rehabilitation Pet Friendly www.fivestarseniorliving.com В© 2010 Five Star Quality Care, Inc. contents Girlfriendz Magazine VOLUME 5 Д• ISSUE 2 Д• MARCH/APRIL 2012 features 16 Special Advertising Section: Happy Home Improvement departments COLUMNS 11 Enterprising Girlfriendz: Lynda Kane 12 On the Nightstand 18 Two Girlfriendz on a Journey BY TOBI SCHWARTZ-CASSELL 19 Spring Cleaning on Steroids: Hoarding and How to Cope BY THERESA WRIGHT, PhD CONTESTS 16 22 Deidre Hall: Talks About the Days of Her Life 43 New! The Girlfriendz-Center for Dentistry вЂњSmile MakeoverвЂќ Contest! 43 Contest Winners: The Girlfriendz-Studio K вЂњPhoto ShootвЂќ Contest YouвЂ™re athome at TheWestonClub Whether youвЂ™re enjoying a cup of coffee with a new friend or a gourmet dinner in the restaurant with your family, you know youвЂ™re home. Add the heated atrium pool, fitness center, library, movie theater, card rooms. Cultural activities and courtesy limo and you could imagine yourself in a lavish resort. Come experience The Weston Club A Premier Retirement Community Where you get to Keep Your Nest Egg! The Weston Club is a No Entrance Fee/No Buy-In Rental Community. BY MARIA MICOLUCCI 26 Do You Need a Probiotic? Go With Your Gut! The Weston Club Marlton, NJ 856-988-7575 www.davisenterprises.com BY ROZANNE GELBINOVICH 34 each issue 28 The Story of a Survivor BY DAWN JONES 32 Dealing with Difficult People 6 From the Editor 8 GirlfriendzTalk: Letters to the Editor 10 Hot Stuff 14 Tech.Know BY HOWARD YERMISH 6ObS5g[a-A]R]eS 40 Girlfriendz Events & Appearances 7<B@=2C17<5B63E=@:2ВёA47@AB/CB=;/B32>3@A=</:B@/7<7<5ABC27= 42 Boomer Humor BY ROZ WARREN 44 Among Friendz BY PATRICIA QUIGLEY 9]Y]4Wb1ZcPVOa`SW\dS\bSRbVSUg[PgQ`SObW\UO^ZOQSeVS`SSOQVSfS`QWaSWaQcab][WhSR b]g]c`W\RWdWRcOZU]OZaO\RВїb\SaaZSdSZa BY VICTORIA HANDFIELD, PsyD 34 I Want to Play Dress Up! BY SANDI TUTTLE 36 The Cat Who Came to Dinner BY NICOLE PENSIERO 39 Cosmetic Dentistry: ThereвЂ™s More to it Than Meets the Eye L, SSELL D JARDIN CA ND EN RIIE FR JUNIOR GIRL 2003 R BE EM PT SE BY TOBI SCHWARTZ-CASSELL 7bВёaZWYSVOdW\Ug]c`]e\^Sà]\OZbÒW\SèWbV]cbVOdW\Ub]VOdSO^Sà]\OZbÒW\S` ON THE COVER Scan this code to visit our website! Our cover model is actress and author Deidre Hall who portrays Dr. Marlena Evans on Days of Our Lives. For more information on Ms. Hall and to purchase her book How Does She Do It?, visit her website at www.deidrehall.me. Catch her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/pages/Deidre-hall/26404831327 and on Twitter at www.twitter. com/deidrehall. Her story begins on page 23 of this issue of Girlfriendz. Our coverвЂ™s вЂњretro itemвЂќ is an historic Days of our Lives hourglass from the Days of our Lives set at NBC Studios in Burbank, California. Our photo shoot took place at the Caffeinated Coffee Shop in Salem on the set of Days of Our Lives. Our cover shot and the photo on page 22 were taken by Paul Skipper of John Paschal International Photography, West Hollywood, California. www.JPIstudios.com 2 =c`ÔbS\bSRA[O`bÒW\W\UagabS[Ocb][ObWQOZZgORXcabab]g]c`^`]U`Saaa]g]c\SdSÙSb P]`SReVWZSg]cВё`SW[^`]dW\UObg]c`]e\ÔQSYSS^W\Ug]c[]bWdObSRO\RUSbbW\UO[OhW\U `SacZba4Oab GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 1OZZ]`dWaWbY]Y]ВїbQZcPQ][b]S\X]gOQ][^ZW[S\bO`g9]Y]A[O`bÒW\W\UaSaaW]\O\RaSS eVObbV]caO\Ra]T^S]^ZS\ObW]\eWRSVOdSRWaQ]dS`SR9]Y]4Wb1ZcPe]`Ya 8]W\Pg;O`QV!abO\R`SQSWdS 4@338=7<7<5433'DOZcS 6c``g:W[WbSR;S[PSàVWâ/dOWZOPZS 03=C@>3@A=</:5C3AB 1OZZb]ROgb]aQVSRcZSg]c`Q][^ZW[S\bO`g 9]Y]A[O`bÒW\W\UASaaW]\ '#/@]cbS%3Oab 1VS``g6WZZ<8&! :WPS`bg0SZZ>ZOhO =\S[WZSeSab]TbVS;O`Zb]\1W`QZS =\S[WZSSOab]TA^`W\UROZS@R &#$"&'9=9=#$#$ eeeQVS``gVWZZY]Y]ВїbQZcPQ][ GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 3 for all sizes PUBLISHER Diane Druss diane@girlfriendzmag.com years of offering В® Tobi Schwartz-Cassell tobi@girlfriendzmag.com Present this ad when you purchase $100 or more in American ExpressВ® Mall Gift Cards and receive a $10 Gift Card as our gift to you. SENIOR COPY EDITOR Jeanne R. Smith CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Lisa Alberta Rozanne Gelbinovich Victoria Handп¬Ѓeld, PsyD Dawn Jones Maria Micolucci Nicole Pensiero Patricia Quigley Tobi Schwartz-Cassell Sandi Tuttle Roz Warren Kathy Weyer Theresa Wright, PhD Howard Yermish Feel the difference in our customer service! ervice! Receive a $10 American Express Mall Gift Card! FOUNDER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF SELECTION CTION ENTION ATTENTION E STYLE QUALITY VALUE EXCEPTIONAL NAL girlfriends LOVE GIFT CARDS! GIRLFRIENDZ SALES With Jacket This is a promotional offer valid 4.1.12 through 4.30.12 or while supplies last. Offer not valid on prior American ExpressВ® Mall Gift Card purchases. Offer not valid with other current Gift Card promotions and cannot be combined with any other promotional offers. Limit one $10 Gift Card per transaction per day. Please see Guest Services for details. The American Express Gift Card may be used at U.S. merchants that accept American Express Cards. Funds do not expire. No ATM cash withdrawal. Additional limitations apply. See Cardholder Agreement for complete terms and conditions. Card cannot be redeemed for cash, except where required by law. The American Express Gift Card is issued by American Express Prepaid Card Management Corporation. В® Featuring 165 specialty stores and restaurants. Route 38 & Haddonп¬Ѓeld Road, Cherry Hill, NJ l 856.662.7440 MondayвЂ“Saturday 10am-9:30pm and Sunday 11am-6pm Department store and restaurant hours may vary. A Pennsylvania Real Estate Investment TrustВ® Property PREIT Download our MALLS PREIT Mall App Claudia Farrace, Account Executive 856-630-7451 claudia@girlfriendzmag.com Come see our new Spring collections from all over the world and our extensive PLUS SIZE department. ;MXLIZIV]QMRTYVGLEWI receive an accessory of your choice ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Molly Lou Conrad molly@girlfriendzmag.com INTERNET MARKETING DIRECTOR Howard Yermish LEGAL DIRECTOR FREE! Leonard T. Schwartz, Esq. DESIGN The Blackbird Studio Jason Druss (value up to $100.00) ADVERTISING & DESIGN INTERN Maggie Young fashionsbypenina.com 3TIRHE]WВ€)1EMR7XVIIXВ€1EVPXSR2.В€ Personally Yours Senior & Support Services, LLC Proudly servicing C ompanionship our community Meal Preparation since 1999. ssist w/daily routine A Shopping/Errands & Advocacy Services Referral Homemaker/Laundry & Much More E scort/Transportation (609) 268-0639 Remain in the comfort and security of your own home with a little help from a friend. http://www.PersonallyYoursSenior.com 4 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com www.girlfriendzmag.com www.facebook.com/girlfriendz Girlfriendz Magazine 6 Brookville Drive, Cherry Hill, NJ 08003 Phone: 856.751.2997 SUBSCRIPTION RATES: 1 year subscription: $15.95 2 year subscription: $29.99 To purchase, please send a check made payable to: The Word Source, LLC 6 Brookville Drive, Cherry Hill, NJ 08003 To pay via credit card, go to: www.girlfriendzmag.com. Girlfriendz: The Thinking WomanвЂ™s Magazine is published bi-monthly by The Word Source, LLC and is the copyrighted property of The Word Source, LLC. Content may not be reproduced or reprinted, in whole or in part, by any other party without expressed written prior consent of Girlfriendz: The Thinking WomanвЂ™s Magazine. GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 5 FROM THE editor Sometimes, What Goes Around Comes Around. Twice. I have always been, and always will be, a Barbie Girl. My collection started with a hand-me-down Barbie and her sparse wardrobe. She had a long blonde pony tail and one leg. I didnвЂ™t even want to speculate on what had happened to the amputated limb. I just avoided dressing her in the pants she showed up with, and opted instead for her long, pink gown. On my next birthday, my parents gave me a brand new Barbie with all four appendages and a beautiful platinum blonde вЂњbubbleвЂќ hairdo. I was positively euphoric! Barbie and Barbie had a lot of fun together, as did I, their puppeteer. As time went on, Ken joined in to make TOBI SCHWARTZ-CASSELL, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF it a plutonic threesome. The BarbiesвЂ™ TOBI@GIRLFRIENDZMAG.COM wardrobe grew, with both store-bought clothes and handmade pieces my mom would design and knit for them. Those girls were stylinвЂ™! But when theyвЂ™d get dressed up to step out for the evening, all Ken had to choose from was a golf ensemble and swim trunks. Eventually, Ken and the Barbies acquired a knock-off вЂњ11.5-inch dollвЂќ doctorвЂ™s office with cardboard snap-together furniture. Ken was awarded his MD and a doctorвЂ™s suit and one of the Barbies got a nurseвЂ™s uniform, complete with a starched white cap. It sounds kind of weird now, but this was the 60s and though Mattel made career clothes for Barbie and Ken, they didnвЂ™t make attire for female doctors and male nurses. Just the other day, I had a discussion with two other Barbie GirlsвЂ” Catherine Allen of M Financial Planning and Bobbie Jo Grace of Southern United Title. (Yes, this is what happens when women convene for a business meetingвЂ”or at least, a Girlfriendz Magazine business meeting.) Bobbie Jo had a typical Barbie family with Barbie, Ken and Skipper. IвЂ™m guessing Ken was an insurance agent, Barbie was a homemaker and president of the PTA, and Skipper was a typical п¬Ѓfth grade girl who turned her nose up at spinach. CatherineвЂ™s Barbies, on the other hand, only owned outп¬Ѓts that corresponded to a career. She remembers naming one of her Barbies вЂњTina,вЂќ and writing curt notes to Ken like: Make your own dinner tonight, Ken. Signed, Tina Catherine does not remember what Ken had done to provoke BarbieвЂ™sвЂ¦I mean TinaвЂ™sвЂ¦ire. And just like with my uni-leg Barbie, I chose not to speculate. Eventually, Tressy joined my collection. (Remember her? She had a short brown haircut with a ponytail at the top of her head. You could pull the ponytail and it would grow all the way down to her feet! I never could п¬Ѓgure out where all that hair was hidden, but again, I chose not to speculate.) Rounding out my collection was вЂњHi Heidi.вЂќ Much shorter than the 11.5-inch dolls, all she owned was the red dress on her back. But who cared? When you pushed the button on her tummy, her right arm would whip up toward the sky as if she were saying, вЂњHi!вЂќ So 6 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com there they wereвЂ”My Barbie CollectionвЂ”Ken, Tressy, Hi Heidi, Barbie and Barbie. They made a cozy, sexless home in the cardboard doctorвЂ™s office (we couldnвЂ™t afford a Dream House) and they all lived happily ever after. Until... One Saturday afternoon when I was in middle school, I decided to visit my Barbie Collection. I went down to the basement and couldnвЂ™t п¬Ѓnd it. My mom told me she and my dad had given it away. GoneвЂ”lock, stock and doctorвЂ™s office. I was furious! How could they have done this to me?! Naturally, my mom apologized profusely for not having checked with me п¬Ѓrst. She and my dad had assumed I wasnвЂ™t interested in playing with dolls anymore. Annoyed, I accepted the apology. After all, they were correct in their assumption. But it took a long time to get over it. I eventually did, of course, especially after they told me who theyвЂ™d given it to. He was a man my dad worked with. They were a family in need and my parents wanted to help. So my Barbie Collection became his daughterвЂ™s Christmas present that year. And this time, I allowed myself to do a little speculation. I envisioned visioned her having a lot of fun with Barbie, Barbie and the girls. Ken, too, o, even though his п¬‚ocked hair had rubbed away long before. IвЂ™d taken care are of business with a black magic marker and hee looked just п¬Ѓne. In fact, the whole thing was as п¬Ѓne because the nameless little girl was giving my old Barbies a new life. It wasnвЂ™t until years later that I realized what my parents really had in n mind. Though the phrase вЂњpaying it forwardвЂќ dвЂќ wasnвЂ™t in popular usage back then, thatвЂ™s what they were doing. And it all started with some really nice person at my dadвЂ™s work who, so many years rs before, had given him a blonde one-legged gged Barbie doll to give to his daughter. mixellaneous WEвЂ™VE ADDED A 1500 SQUARE FOOT EVENT SPACE TO THE MIX! We can host your next birthday party (many themes to choose from), networking events, ladies night, fundraiser or girls night out. Our party planner will assist you with the details and create something fabulous! Check our website for Mixellaneous events and programs! Like us on FaceBook! ojm55mi55B(2.5.)5)**,-5&)(C5R5,&.)(65 5R5-#!(,]-5)/,.5")**#(!5(., nkl5kmj5jigf5R588 Warmly, PS: The story has a second happy ending. My dear childhood friend nd Barbara (who used to play Barbies with me) went on eBay and found an exact duplicate of my platinum blonde bubble-head Barbie, and gave ve it to me for my 40th birthday. SheвЂ™s pictured right here! PPS: WhatвЂ™s your Barbie story? ry? Please share it with me at tobi@girlfriendzmag.com zmag.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/girlfriendz, com/girlfriendz, and if you give me permission, n, IвЂ™ll put it in the next issue of Girlfriendz Magazine. gazine. ##!"# # "#! ! !"##!#" " !#########!" "" GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 7 GIRLFRIENDZ letters FREE VEIN SCREENING t@lk TURN VARICOSE VEINS into beautiful legs. We LOVE to hear from our girlfriendz! Carole Simpson: A True S/hero! CAROLE SIMPSON: A GROUNDBREAKER WHO CONTINUES TO STAND HER GROUND BY MARIA MICOLUCCI (VOLUME 5, ISSUE 1) my BFF for the past 30 years. We laughed when we realized we both loved Nancy Drew Mysteries but I was the one with the Barbie with unmoveable legs! Thanks for creating a magazine for us Pioneering Women who can do it allвЂ”home, work and fun! Susan Rothschild, Salem You are like a BFF! Great advice, fun events, local shoppingвЂ”all things my BFF and I share. And when your magazine arrives, just like my BFF, that equals вЂњmeвЂќ time! Thanks for being my BMF (Best Magazine Forever)! Margie Datz, Woodbury I received the Jan/Feb issue today and am so excited that my вЂњs/heroвЂќ Carole Simpson graces the cover! I have admired Ms. Simpson for many years and she has been a role model to me as I watched her anchor ABC World News Tonight Sunday. During her 25 year career at ABC News, she endured racism and sexual harassment. IвЂ™m so happy that you are sharing CaroleвЂ™s story with us. I canвЂ™t wait to read the cover story and her new memoirвЂ” вЂњNewsLady.вЂќ Thank you! Karen Johnson, PhD, Author, вЂњBeyond the Body! Developing Inner BeautyвЂќ I really enjoyed and was inspired by the feature article on Carole Simpson. She broke many barriers, but the most important one was to inspire other women to believe in themselves and to encourage women to work with each other. Oftentimes, we see each other as rivals and do not celebrate the accomplishments of other women. I п¬Ѓrmly believe the only way the вЂњglass ceilingвЂќ will ever be broken is if women support, encourage and promote other women. Just think how many women in corporations and small business would thrive and how many more opportunities could be created! Thank you Carole Simpson for your courage! Francesca Hahn, Marlton Remembering Nancy Drew and Barbie, too Just viewed Girlfriendz for the п¬Ѓrst time with I love Girlfriendz Magazine! It makes you feel like you have girlfriends even if you donвЂ™t. The articles and events have connected me to many peopleвЂ”people I would probably never have met if I did not subscribe to this magazine. Thank you for being my girlriend. Andrea Peebles, Marlton HereвЂ™s to the Pioneers PARENT PIONEERS HELPING PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH AUTISM AND ASPERGERвЂ™S BY JACKIE PANTALIANO (VOLUME 5, ISSUE 1) I thoroughly enjoyed the article by Jackie Pantaliano in the Jan/Feb issue, and especially enjoyed the note about вЂњSheldonвЂќ from The Big Bang Theory. I hope the story of my son Bob, now 22, will be an inspiration. My husband and I feel he might be seen as the exception when it comes to AspergerвЂ™s as he graduated Cum Laude from Concordia College, NY with a degree in social work and is receiving his Masters from the University of Pennsylvania. He says he wants to give back to all those who helped him. Like the parents in your article, I am also concerned about his success in the outside world and just want him to be happy. When he was growing up, the groups you mentioned at the end of the article were not available, but I will pass this info on to him. Thanks so much for afп¬Ѓrming that I, as a parent, am not alone, and for offering the info for Bob. Pat Schmus, Voorhees I loved this article! Jackie presented some of the different types of Aspies along with how/when they were diagnosed. Sure wish Brian had been diagnosed sooner than age 21! The вЂњnameвЂќ for all his quirks just helps Join us for a FREE SCREENING! explain those quirks. But he never learned to deal with his behavior. Thank you for a great article. Linda Mackey, via the Girlfriendz Website Great article Jackie! You really captured what each of these families are yearning for and that is for their child to have meaningful work and meaningful relationships. Nothing different from what we all strive for! Barbara Abrams, Director, Special Needs Program, Jewish Family & ChildrenвЂ™s Services, Cherry Hill VOORHEES Wed., April 4, 3-6pm 1000 White Horse Rd., Suite 703 SWEDESBORO Tues., April 3, 3-6pm 300 Lexington Rd., Building B, Suite 230 SEWELL Fri., April 6, 3-6pm 556 Egg Harbor Rd., Suite A Charles L. Dietzek, D.O., FACOS Raymond S. Wojtalik, M.D., FACS Before After VINELAND Mon., April 9, 3-6pm 1103 West Sherman Ave., Building 2, Unit A U 30-minute treatments done in the ofп¬Ѓce U Requires no down-time He Loves Her, He Loves Her Not U Covered by most insurances Specializing in spider and varicose vein treatment JOE NAMATH AND THE FLOWERS BY KATHY WEYER (VOLUME 5, ISSUE 1) Joe knew back then what we all knowвЂ”you deserve yellow roses on each and every birthdayвЂ“past, present and future, to bring back those shrieks of glee! Marcee, via the Girlfriendz Website VOORHEES U SEWELL U VINELAND U SWEDESBORO SouthJerseyVeins.com Schedule your APPOINTMENT today! 856-457-4499 Great fun! Those unforgettable moments that make ordinary life seem drab in comparison. HereвЂ™s to our Broadway Joes. Karen Stephen, via the Girlfriendz Website Loved it! Good memories of school days and fake IDs. Never met Joe Namath, though. Maureen, via the Girlfriendz Website Howard to the Rescue! CONFUSED ABOUT LINKEDIN? HOW TO MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU BY HOWARD YERMISH (VOLUME 4, ISSUE 4) I appreciated the article Howard Yermish did on LinkedIn! Excellent info! He broke it down to language that even a business newcomer like me could relate to. Stella Collington, Rastelli Direct, Diamond Business Partner Where DO All Those Socks End Up? LIFEвЂ™S GREATEST MYSTERIES BY PATRICIA QUIGLEY (VOLUME 5, ISSUE 1) Loved this article by Patricia Quigley. I donвЂ™t like top 10 lists, I have no time for lying and I have given up on trying to match the socks in our house. It just isnвЂ™t going to happen. Donna Marie Spagnolia, Marlton NJ g Send your comments to: Tobi@girlfriendzmag.com. We reserve the right to edit correspondence for space. 8 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 9 THINGS we like THE SAFE WAY TO UNDERGO BARIATRIC SURGERY Considering weight loss surgery? Consider The B.E.A.T. (Bariatric Education and Treatment) Program. The professional staff of Karen T. Jordan, MD, PhD will provide the tools for life-long success with nutritional education, exercise, behavioral counseling and emotional supportвЂ”before, after and long after surgery. www.thebeatprogram.org Hot Stuff! KITCHEN FLEXIBILITY Fridgex by Ceramcor is a п¬‚exible line of bakeware that moves easily from oven, to table, to fridge. After cleanup it collapses and nests for easy storage. No more pots, pans, serving dishes and storage pieces to contend with! Of eco-friendly silicone, itвЂ™s safe, stickresistant, non-toxic and recyclable. Available in lime green and cherry red, www.Ceramcor.com. cor.com. 99. $24.99-$49.99. girlfriendz Q: What makes Aenigma different? A: My staff (which includes Marilyn!) and I pride ourselves on being personal jewelry and gift consultants. We take the time to п¬Ѓnd just the right piece for just the right occasion, whether our customer is the mother of the bride, going to a gala or just wants to update her wardrobe. We make sure she looks and feels wonderful while staying within her budget. Lynda Kane Lynda Kane is living her dream. As owner of Aenigma Jewelry in Collingswood, every day is a work day, but thatвЂ™s purely by design. On a recent Caribbean vacation, her daughter implored her to stop working. вЂњBut I couldnвЂ™t!вЂќ she said. вЂњWhen IвЂ™m away for too long, I miss what I do!вЂќ Q: How did you decide to make a career of accessories? A: When I was a little girl, my parents traveled extensively. My sister Marilyn and I would always wait eagerly to п¬Ѓnd out what treasures theyвЂ™d bring home for us. ThatвЂ™s how I fell in love with beautiful jewelry and clothing, and one-of-a-kind accessories. A LIQUID LINER FOR THE EYELINER CHALLENGED Think you need to have a steady hand for liquid liner? Not anymore. CAILYN Gel Eyeliner brushes on smoothly and stays moist just long enough to perfect your look. Once dry, itвЂ™s smudge-proof and waterproof for 24 hours. Cruelty-free and free of animal byproducts, petrochemicals, synthetic fragrances and sulfates. In п¬Ѓve shades, at boutiques and spas and at www. cailyncosmetics.com. $21 WHEN IS A BURGER A VEGETABLE? When itвЂ™s a Sprout Burger! Made with non-GMO soy and organic sprouted quinoa, amaranth and millet, itвЂ™s vegan and gluten-free. And unlike regular grains, sprouted grains arenвЂ™t digested as a starch, but as a vegetable. Original, Chipotle Black Bean and Mushroom & Onion; sold at Whole Foods Market, Marlton, www.healthiswealthfoods.com. MSRP: $4.99. 9. So new, theyвЂ™re not even in stores вЂ�til April! ENTERPRISING Q: When did you begin your jewelry and accessories business? A: I started it in 1991. Since then, IвЂ™ve visited Colombia, Yugoslavia, Thailand, India, Mexico, Singapore and Turkey to work with tradi- Q: What is the most rewarding aspect of owning and operating Aenigma? A: Meeting great people on a daily basis and traveling the world to buy inventory that will bring smiles to our customersвЂ™ faces. tional craftsmen to п¬Ѓnd and design quality, one-of-a-kind pieces. At the beginning, IвЂ™d sell them to retail shops and at shows throughout the country. Then I opened my own galleryвЂ” the original Aenigma in PhiladelphiaвЂ™s Old City. After six years, in July 2007, I moved to my current location in Collingswood, and IвЂ™ve never looked back. Q: How do you give back to the community? A: Before starting Aenigma, I specialized in doing fundraisers for both proп¬Ѓt and nonproп¬Ѓt organizations. All organizations want to make a difference in peopleвЂ™s lives, and the organizations IвЂ™ve been a part of are no different. So itвЂ™s been an honor and a privilege to know that I am part of the difference they have made. Offering a full bridal jewelry collection, free gift wrap and fundraising opportunities for your organization, Aenigma is located at 6 Powell Lane, Collingswood just off Haddon Avenue. 856-833-9200, www.aenigmajewelry.com. WISH YOU COULD WEAR BARBIE SHOES? NOW YOU CAN! Finally! We can all п¬Ѓt into Barbie shoes! Twentysomething Sara Gallo loves Barbie and shoes. So, in addition to handmade п¬Ѓne sterling silver pieces, she has ventured into a new mediumвЂ”Barbie shoes! See her complete line of colors and exclusive designs of bracelets, necklaces and earrings in boutiques and on her website, www.saragallo.com. Garden Party Bracelet, $40 MORTGAGES Great rates, quick approvals. t'SFFQSFBQQSPWBMT t%JTDPVOUFESBUFTGPSГҐSTUUJNFIPNFCVZFST t1VSDIBTFSFГҐOBODFPSEFCUDPOTPMJEBUJPO $BMMBMortgage SpecialistBU1.888.777.2770. POTTERY INSPIRED BY NATURE AND THE PRODUCE SECTION Vegetabowls is the brainchild of Melanie Mckenney, who with her husband Justin, shops the farmerвЂ™s markets for fruit, veggies and inspiration. They bring home their bounty and cast Vegetabowls from the actual fruits or vegetables, to produce these authentic looking bowls that are dishwasher safe. Each painted with non-toxic, food-safe glaze. www.vegetabowls.com. Cantaloupe bowl, $22 Want to Learn More? t7JTJUUIFbeneficial.com t8BUDIPVSFive Things Every First-time Homebuyer Should Know WJEFPPO'BDFCPPL t"UUFOEPOFPGPVSGSFFCherry Hill Workshops Find us on Member FDIC 10 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 11 ON THE nightstand Book Reviews What do Girlz like? We have a pretty good idea (weвЂ™re girls, too), but we want to hear it from you! This is your chance to tell us what restaurants you like, as well as your favorite hair salon, spa and places to shop. BY GIRLFRIENDZ STAFF AND READERS Fresh & Easy Kosher Cooking: Ordinary Ingredients, Extraordinary Meals by Leah Schapira. Like the ad campaign from the 60s, вЂњYou DonвЂ™t Have to Be Jewish to Love LevyвЂ™s,вЂќ you donвЂ™t have to be Jewish to love this cookbook. If you happen to be a kosher cook, the resources provided are wonderful. Ms. Schapira shows how to use simple, fresh ingredients to create tasty meals, and, as she says, вЂњI like to use ingredients from my pantry, adding new twists and improving on techniques.вЂќ Molly Lou Conrad, Girlfriendz Administrative Assistant Following Atticus, Forty-eight High Peaks, One Little Dog, And an Extraordinary Friendship, by Tom Ryan, is simply a beautiful, inspiring book. ItвЂ™s a true story of an overweight, middle-aged manвЂ™s experience with an incredible little schnauzer, named Atticus. Ryan shares how he п¬Ѓnds adventure mountain-climbing with his dog, but mainly how he п¬Ѓnds himself and in turn impacts others. For anyone who has ever known the unending devotion of a pet dog and for those yet to experience it, this is a winner that will leave you smiling through your tears. Jack Kennedy: Elusive Hero by Chris Matthews. IвЂ™m not a huge nonп¬Ѓction fan, but MatthewsвЂ™ extensive research and hours of conversations with friends and colleagues of President John F. Kennedy combine to make this absorbing reading. Behind-the-scenes situations, both personal and political, shed new light on what it was really like in the Camelot of the early 60s and before. Tracing KennedyвЂ™s life from earliest childhood to that last day in Dallas, Matthews reintroduces us to one of his obvious idols in a way that gives us a deeper understanding of what made the president tick. VOTE for what you like at www.girlfriendzmag.com/whatgirlzlike Jeanne Smith, Girlfriendz Senior Copyeditor Shockaholic by Carrie Fisher. Reading this is like hanging out with a brilliant, self-absorbed, wise-cracking friend who talks nonstop about herselfвЂ”but sheвЂ�s so funny and has such a fascinating life that you hang on every word. Topics include her famous mother (and п¬‚atulent stepfather), her friendship with Liz Taylor, the birthday she celebrated with Michael Jackson shortly before his death, and of course, that infamous metal bikini. Fisher also talks frankly about mental illness, her struggle with addiction and why she п¬Ѓnally turned to shock therapy. Shockaholic is a fun, funny and surprisingly moving book. Rosalind Warren, Girlfriendz Writer g Tell Us What You Like and Win! HereвЂ™s what you can win! At Shiseido Lord & Taylor, Moorestown* you and four (4) of your BFFs will each win a Shiseido Beneп¬Ѓance Wrinkle Resist 24 Intensive Eye Contour Cream PLUS a facial or makeover! Value: $350 Winner will be chosen at random. ENTER NOW at www.girlfriendzmag.com/whatgirlzlike Deadline: 6/15/12 at 11:59 PM. *The party at Lord & Taylor, Moorestown will be booked at winnersвЂ™ convenience, but all п¬Ѓve BFFs must come at the same time to receive her eye cream and facial or makeover. The party must be held before December 31, 2012. Jackie Pantaliano, Girlfriendz Writer r ou g ity in n rs rv mu ea Se m 5 y co r 1 fo A Natural Way to RevitalizeYour Life for Both Men and Women with Bio-identical Hormone Replacement Therapy What can it do for me? Increase energy and vitality | Renew physical and emotional well being | Enhance libido and increase sexual desire | Decrease body fat Reduce fatigue and lethargy | Increase mental focus and clarity | Increase concentration Improve memory | Relieve anxiety | Relieve depression | Protection from heart disease Lower cholesterol | Improve bone health Memory Care For more infomation contact: Joann Richichi, DO 239 Hurffville-Crosskeys Rd. Suite 250 Sewell, NJ 08080 856-262-8300 www.myobgyndoctors.com We know. We understand. We can help. ItвЂ™s all we do. Call today to discover how Arden Courts can make a difference in yourвЂ™s and your loved oneвЂ™s lives. 856.833.9200 aenigmajewelry.com Shoppes at the LumberYard 6 Powell Lane . Collingswood, NJ . 08108 (off Haddon Avenue) 12 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com Memory Care Community 2700 Chapel Avenue West Cherry Hill, NJ 08002 (856) 667-6543 www.arden-courts.com GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 13 TECH know Warning: SmartPhones Can Be Beneп¬Ѓcial to Your Health! BY HOWARD YERMISH IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY DAY, I FIND MORE THINGS I CAN DO WITH MY SMARTPHONE. The technology has opened up so many possibilities, and takes advantage of lots of great apps. In this issue, weвЂ™re going to focus on how our smartphones can help maintain and even assist in improving our health. Though some of the following apps can be accessed on an Android, the majority are compatible with the iPhone because of its standard hardware port that enables plug-ins. Many manufacturers are working on Android compatibility, but lacking the standard interface, plug-ins would have to be different from manufacturer to manufacturer and model to model. Android customers can opt for mobile apps and devices like the Fitbit (below) because thereвЂ™s no need for a direct connection. 2. FITBIT ULTRAвЂ™ вЂ” $100 (iPhone/iPad/Android) You could consider the Fitbit a pedometer for the digital age. It tracks the number of steps you take, the stairs you climb, calories burned, activity levels and sleep patterns. The Fitbit is small and light enough (0.4 oz) to tuck into a pocket or wear discretely on a belt. (The manufacturer claims itвЂ™s light enough to wear on a bra strap.) You get about 3 days of use on a charge, and the included charger connects with your computer (PC or Mac) to send data to a tracking website, with which you can use an iPhone app to track progress. The free mobile application also allows you to log 14 3. GOMEALS вЂ” Free CareOne at Evesham Assisted Living (iPhone/Android) Busy lives make it more important than ever to know how many calories, fats and carbs are in our foods. ItвЂ™s the best way to keep a diet on track. GoMeals allows you to search the 60,000 items in its food database, and shows full nutritional information. GoMeals will display your meal history for the last 7 or 30 days to help you stay focused. You can even use its restaurant locator and browse built-in menus complete with nutritional information so you can choose restaurants with healthier options. 4. SANOFI DIABETES IBGSTARв„ў вЂ” around $80 (iPhone/iPod touch) 2 1. WITHINGS BLOOD PRESSURE MONITOR вЂ” $129(iPhone/iPad/iPod touch) In addition to their popular body scale, Withings sells a blood pressure monitor that connects to an iPhone, iPad or iPod touch. Wrap the cuff around your arm and connect a cable to your iPhone to launch the application. It saves a record of your systolic and diastolic blood pressure as well as your heart rate. It also provides graphs of your blood pressure data, and a quick tap generates an email you can send to your doctor. Withings has also partnered with a number of medical records services including Microsoft HealthVault, so your data is synchronized automatically. You can track your blood pressure data with your body weight using their scale and everyone in your house can share the same equipment as the app tracks multiple people. 1 food intake and track workouts. Fitbit also has a social element, allowing you to share with friends, ask questions in the forum and create your own private groups for a little competition. 3 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com CareOneвЂ™s philosophy of caring includes attention to the social, physical, spiritual, and emotional needs of every individual. Already available in Germany, France, Switzerland, the Netherlands and Italy, the iBGStarв„ў Blood Glucose Monitoring System plugs directly into the iPhone or iPod touch, and its accompanying app displays results immediately after testing. The iBGStarв„ў Diabetes Manager App analyzes glucose patterns over time. In addition to normal recording and tracking, you can track carbohydrate intake and insulin doses. Scorecards show individual test results and are color-coded so high and low blood glucose results can be more easily identiп¬Ѓed. The вЂ�ShareвЂ™ function enables users to select speciп¬Ѓc data to email to a healthcare professional. The application can be downloaded free from the App Store. Sanoп¬Ѓ US and its partner AgaMatrix have announced that the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) granted 510(k) premarket clearance in December 2011 for the iBGStarв„ў Blood Glucose Monitoring System, although no ofп¬Ѓcial availability date has been announced. Residents at CareOne at Evesham Assisted Living enjoy a full menu of programs and services designed to meet their personal needs, desires and preferences. Our assisted living life enrichment activities programs were created to promote wellness and maximize independence. Residents enjoy: t t t t t t t Private dining room with gourmet dining and dietary considerations 24-hour emergency response system Personal care assistance Access to laundry facilities On-site health care services Daily activities and programs Memory support care services, including memory stimulation programs g [ LEARN MORE ABOUT IT ] 874 Route 70 East, Marlton, NJ 08053 1IPOFt'BY FITBIT ULTRA www.п¬Ѓtbit.com/product GOMEALS www.GoMeals.com www.care-one.com 403675 SANOFI DIABETES IBGSTARв„ў www.ibgstar.us WITHINGS BLOOD PRESSURE MONITOR www.withings.com/en/bloodpressuremonitor 4 Howard Yermish works with small and medium enterprises on their Internet strategy, online marketing, user experience design, website usability, information architecture, application speciп¬Ѓcation and application design. His new project, вЂњMore Digital ReferralsвЂќ is an online course delivered via email several times a week, with step-by-step instructions, video tutorials and downloadable materials you can use right away. Learn more and register for free at http://moredigitalreferrals.com. GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 15 S P EC I A L A DV E RT I S I N G S ECT I O N Trends: WhatвЂ™s hot? Competition: WhatвЂ™s your difference? Happy Home Improvement Debbie of DГ©cor & You: We donвЂ™t necessarily focus on the latest interior design trends. It may sound a bit strange, but most of our clients seek a fully decorated look that has more вЂњstaying power.вЂќ Our online style guide illustrates various decorating ideas like a Town and Country expression or Eco-Chic Groove, but since your room is your private oasis it should reп¬‚ect your personal vision. Being trendy is great fun, but you have to be able to live with it and love it! Brian: Beneп¬Ѓcial (now serving South Jersey) is the oldest and largest bank headquartered in Philadelphia, helping customers for close to 160 years. All decision-making is local and we service nearly every loan we make. We offer savings programs as well as a full array of loan products that include personal, home equity, conventional and renovation programs. BY TO B I S C H WA RT Z- CAS S E L L Finances: Show me the money Chris of Oak Mortgage: Reп¬Ѓnancing your home may free up money and provide the most cost effective way to complete your renovation. And because rates remain at 60 year lows, weвЂ™ve seen many clients lower the years on their mortgage while п¬Ѓnancing their project. For example, going from a 30-year п¬Ѓxed to a 15-year п¬Ѓxed could potentially keep monthly payments close to what youвЂ™re already paying, while saving you tens of thousands in interest over the term of the loan. Brian of Beneп¬Ѓcial: It begins with a conversation about your objectives. From there, we make recommendations on how to save for or п¬Ѓnance the project. The choices for someone looking at a $1,000 remodel are very different from someone with a $100,000 budget. However, no project is too small and many of our loan programs have absolutely no fees. We even have a program speciп¬Ѓcally designed for the major renovation of a home. Doing some spring remodeling? How exciting! But once youвЂ™re fully involved, your excitement may wane. In her latest book Renovation Bootcampв„ў: Design and Remodel Your Kitchen Without Losing Your Wallet, Your Mind, or Your Spouse, author Robin Siegerman reveals tips to make the process more manageable and less stressful. Her advice: set a realistic budget, understand how long it will take and be sure to have detailed drawings. Our local experts offer strategies of their own to get you from A to B, happily. Barbara of BBвЂ™s: My goal is to help my clients avoid spending money. Invariably, once weвЂ™ve sorted and purged, we п¬Ѓnd they already have storage containers to house what theyвЂ™ve decided to keep. That said, some of my favorite organizing products are: Command Stripsв„ў, plastic see-through boxes with clip-on lids and label makers. I offer BBвЂ™s Brilliant Box SystemвЂ”an affordable, easy way to keep track of your receipts, bills and papers. It includes the actual п¬Ѓle box and detailed instructions on how to use the system which manages your paperwork and your time. Steve of Matteo: Trends in our business include kitchen backsplashes that use glass and mosaic as accents and borders. Very hot: pre-sealed Travertine tiles. For countertops: granite, quartzвЂ”stone in general. For backsplashes: stone mixtures with glass for a pop of color. Wood cabinets: warm darker tones with lighter colorful glass. Teri of Closet Gallery: Mudrooms have been very popular. With active lifestyles, having everything organized, eliminates chaos when you are rushing to get to the next activity Andee of Melange: Many people are holding onto their homes and updating with color. Wall art is inexpensive and can change the style and feel of any room. Changing pillows on your couch or adding a new accent piece can do the same. Bold colors like red can give your room a real lift. Trust: The main ingredient Steve: Always look at how long g a company p y has been in business, urchasing materials. Who will especially when it comes to purchasing be there for you if a problem arises rises down the road? We always handle the warranty issues and d hold every п¬Ѓle for just such reasons. OUR EXPERTS: Barbara Berman, Owner, BBвЂ™s Clutter Solutions, Cherry Hill, www.bb-clutter-solutions.com Teri Fisher, Owner/Designer, Closet Gallery, Medford, www.theclosetgallery.com Steven Matteo, Co-Owner, Matteo Family Kitchens, Inc, Woodstown, www.matteokitchens.com Chris Murray, Senior Loan Officer (NMLS# 251895), Oak Mortgage Company, Marlton, www.christophermurray.oakmortgageusa.com/ Brian Myers, Director of Consumer & Residential Lending, Beneп¬Ѓcial Bank, Philadelphia, www.thebeneп¬Ѓcial.com Andrea Saper, Owner, Melange Home DГ©cor & More Than Gifts, Marlton, www.morethangiftsmarlton.com Debbie Titus, DecorDesigner & Design Business Manager, Serving Camden and Burlington Counties, www.decorandyou.com/dtitus 16 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com Debbie: A good decorator actss as a style supporter and trusted advisor whoвЂ™s not solely focused on the sales process. Spend time talking with the ening carefully decorator to be sure she is listening ural and fun to you. It should feel like a natural process. Barbara: You need to trust the person, feel like sheвЂ™s listening to yourr needs. And depending on what she does, п¬Ѓnd out if sheвЂ™s insured and/or bonded. Teri: First impressions are important; portant; however a company needs to back theirr products and services. Closet Gallery offers ffers a lifetime warranty on our products and services. Chris: Our local office in Marlton is where every aspect of your loan is handled. Oak is a responsive member of the community and has been providing mortgages in New Jersey for more than 14 years. Our staff members live locally, are extremely accessible and are here to answer all your questions. This leads to a streamlined closing and a very smooth experience. Steve: We apply ZERO pressure. WeвЂ™ll design your entire jobвЂ”layouts to color schemeвЂ”free! WeвЂ™ll remove existing hard surface п¬‚oors (hardwood and ceramic) to install newer products (the big box stores donвЂ™t offer these services). We have a complete showroom and will come to your home to measure, ask questions and offer suggestions. Teri: Customer service and attention to detail. We work very closely with all of our customers and pride ourselves in the relationships we form. Andee: We carry pieces you wonвЂ™t п¬Ѓnd in other stores because we purchase everything from vendors who donвЂ™t sell to other stores in our area. WeвЂ™re also constantly bringing new things into our store, so all inventory is fresh and new. Barbara: Because I work with clients one-on-one, I motivate them to be more productive and efficient and help them develop strategies to stay organized permanently. I listen to their stories without judgment, like to make them laugh and have fun, and help them see this is not something to be dreaded. On the other hand, if weвЂ™re organizing and purging as a result of the loss of a loved one, I let them know that crying in front of me m or being upset is п¬Ѓne. I respect their individu individuality and work at their pace. Debbie Debbie: We blend solid project management skills and a design expertise using what we call the Styl Styleprintв„ў Design System. ItвЂ™s a managed makeove makeover. From selection and purchase through installatio installation, every detail is professionally managed to provide a comfortable, worry-free experien experience. And when itвЂ™s all п¬Ѓnished, everything is in plac place, looks good and feels right! g GIRLFRIENDZ M MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 17 Two Girlfriendz on a journey Spring Cleaning on Steroids: Life in a Petri Dish Hoarding and How to Cope BY LISA ALBERTA HAVE YOU HEARD? MARIAH CAREY IS THE NEW SPOKESPERSON FOR JENNY CRAIG. She just had twins, looks amazing and now we all know why! As if celebrities arenвЂ™t already under a giant microscope, they torture themselves by signing up for this! The entire world will now be watching her every move and analyzing every outп¬Ѓt to see if there are any bulges where there shouldnвЂ™t be. Eight months ago, Diane and Claudia agreed to go under the Girlfriendz microscope while we all sat back and watched. They embarked on the eatsmart weight loss program at Cherry Hill Health & Racquet Club, starting off with good intentions, but werenвЂ™t exactly getting the results weвЂ™d hoped for. When I met with Diane this week to go over her measurements, she was beaming! She had lost ten pounds and 11 inches. The п¬Ѓrst sentence out of her mouth: вЂњIвЂ™m so happy IвЂ™m п¬Ѓnally losing weightвЂ”I really didnвЂ™t want to disappoint you!вЂќ Diane is addicted to working out, feels better than ever, and even her doctor is raving about her weight lossвЂ¦yet, what is Diane focusing on? Not disappointing anyone. IвЂ™m so proud of Diane, but wish her motivation came from within, rather than feeling compelled to succeed. IвЂ™m very proud of Claudia, too! She has lost 20 pounds and says, вЂњI feel better than ever and am staying on track!вЂќ Staying on track is what itвЂ™s all about. So letвЂ™s make a pact to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves, set small п¬Ѓtness and weight loss goals, make good choices and throw out that microscope! g kickstart Your weight loss program with Diane & Claudia at CHHRC! If you've fallen off the fitness wagon, KickStart is a great way to get back on! if your New Year's Resolution is to lose weight and get in shape, KickStart is for you! Statistics tell us that people who exercise with a friend are more successful at exercising consistently. You keep each other accountable and motivated! Bring a friend to KickStart today! Go to www.chhrc.com/kickstart $129 $99 for members. First time visitors and first time personal training clients. 18 4 week membership 4 personal training sessions Spaces 4 nutritional consultations GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com Limited! Call today Serving the community since 1971 Your family Health Club www.chhrc.com 856.429.1388 GRACE CAME TO THE ATTENTION OF A LOCAL SOCIAL SERVICE AGENCY AFTER AN ANONYMOUS CALL WAS PLACED TO THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT. вЂњI just canвЂ™t throw things away. At п¬Ѓrst it was just the kidsвЂ™ school papers but then it was magazines, newspapers and broken appliances I thought I could repair. There are piles everywhere. The house is so cluttered we canвЂ™t even sit at the kitchen table or take baths because I have п¬Ѓlled them with papers. My husband is threatening to leave me and take the kids with him.вЂќ Grace is suffering from a psychiatric condition called hoarding which is considered to be related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Approximately 25% of individuals with OCD also exhibit hoarding behaviors. According to Dr. Frost of the International OCD foundation, hoarding has been a hidden disorder for many years. It is only since the 1990s that more research has been conducted on hoarding. Interest in it has increased in response to TV reality shows which have made the public aware of this disabling condition. ACCORDING TO THE MAYO CLINIC, THE SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF HOARDING ARE: Д•Еї acquiring unneeded or seemingly useless items including magazines, newspapers and trash Д•Еї an inability to discard items even though they are worthless Д•Еї excessive attachment to possessions, including discomfort letting others touch or borrow their possessions Д•Еї cluttered living spaces Д•Еї difficulty organizing items or moving items from one pile to another without discarding anything Д•Еї difficulty managing daily activities including procrastination and trouble making decisions Д•Еї shame and embarrassment Д•Еї limited social interactions There is a difference between collecting and hoarding. Collectors seek out speciп¬Ѓc items and carefully organize and display their collection. Hoarders, on the other hand, just acquire random items which they carelessly store in their homes. People who hoard generally believe the item will be useful some day, BY THERESA WRIGHT, PhD for instance, toilet paper rolls or magazines and newspapers for future art projects. There are also cases of people hoarding animals, keeping dozens of pets in often unsanitary conditions. Due to the large numbers, the animals cannot be cared for properly. Veterinarians are often the п¬Ѓrst to notice there is a problem when owners bring in one sick or injured animal after another. It is not clear what causes hoarding behavior but it is more likely to occur in an individual with a family history of hoarding. Genetics and upbringing both seem to be factors in this condition. Hoarding may actually begin in childhood with the child saving broken toys, pencil nubs and papers. A stressful life event with which an individual was unable to cope, such as a death in the family, divorce or a move can exacerbate the condition. It tends to get worse with age, with the average age of a person seeking treatment for hoarding at about 50 years old. Hoarding can consume an individualвЂ™s life. It interferes with their daily functioning and disrupts their п¬Ѓnancial, emotional and social well being. It impacts signiп¬Ѓcantly on relationships, with family members feeling depressed and resentful. It also affects the social development of children. Spouses may move out of the home with the children because of the deplorable living conditions. Many people even go broke renting storage units for all of their possessions. Hoarders may feel that something bad will happen if they throw an item away. To avoid this feeling, they save everything so this erroneous belief is never disproved. But itвЂ™s important for non-hoarders to know that the hoarding behavior will not be eliminated by simply throwing things out. Instead, the underlying causes must be identiп¬Ѓed and addressed in treatment. In fact, if a home is cleaned out without the hoarderвЂ™s consent, the behavior can worsen and may lead to a person refusing help in the future. Non-hoarders also need to know they cannot apply logic and reason with a loved one who is a hoarder when it comes to their living circumstances. It often takes drastic measures such as family members leaving or reports to police, п¬Ѓre and/or the health departments for a hoarder to seek treatment. The International OCD foundation offers guidelines for addressing your concerns with a friend or family member suffering from hoarding: Respect. Acknowledge that a person has a right to make his or her own decisions at his or her own pace. Sympathize. Understand that everyone has some attachment to the things they own. Try to understand the importance of their items 19 MatteoвЂ™s BIG Kitchen SAVER SALE! You DonвЂ™t Want To Miss This Deal! Customer Satisfaction is Nice... Entire Kitchen We Inspire Customer Loyalty! only *&/)(&35i8kz &-52 $6495! 12 Month, No Interest Financing Available This KRAFTMAID kitchen will include: R5hf5&#(,5 .5) 5'*&65)%5),5"#%),35#(.,35;5#-50#&&5#(5hm5#Дї 5'*&65)%5),5"#%),35#(.,35;5#-50#&&5#(5hm5#Дї,(.5)&),R5!,(#.5)/(.,.)*-5R5-.#(&--5-.&5-#(%5;5 /.5R5#(.,35",1,5 /.5R5#(.,35",1,5R5,'#5.#&5%-*&-" Heart of the Home Specialists! SAVE $100 SAV on any flooring order of $1,000 or more (materials only) Matteo Family Kitchens & Flooring Inc. 856-769-2490 With this coupon. New orders only. Not valid with other offers or prior purchases. Expires April 30, 2012. FREE Estimates 3D computer aided design 0ME4BMFN3Et8PPETUPXOt www.matteofamilykitchens.com only 3.5% sales tax Matteo Family Kitchens & Flooring Inc. 856-769-2490 With this coupon. New orders only. Not valid with other offers or prior purchases. Expires April 30, 2012. -JD7)#VT3FH TFFTBMFTNBOGPSDBCJOFUEFUBJMT SMALL BUSINESS вЂў HOME вЂў DOWNSIZING BEFORE AFTER From Bedlam to Brilliance! Are you ready to: в—— Be more productive? в—— See results quickly? в—— Have less stress? Then, itвЂ™s time to work with an expert by your side and move from Bedlam to Brilliance! 856.912.0077 Contact Barbara Berman, Professional Organizer, TODAY! YouвЂ™ll Love What Happens! info@bb-clutter-solutions.com | www.bb-clutter-solutions.com Sign up to receive your FREE monthly organizing tips at www.bb-clutter-solutions.com 20 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com to them. Encourage. Come up with ideas to make their home safer, such as moving clutter from doorways and halls. Team up. DonвЂ™t argue about whether to keep or discard an item; instead п¬Ѓnd out what will help motivate the person to discard or organize. Reп¬‚ect. Help the person recognize that hoarding interferes with the goals and values the person may hold. For example, by decluttering the home, a person may feel more comfortable thinking about hosting social gatherings, resulting in a richer social life. Ask. Develop trust by never throwing anything away without asking permission. Psychological treatment is available. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help an individual explore why they hoard, learn to de-clutter their home and organize their possessions, practice relaxation skills and work on healing among family members. Antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication may provide relief in conjunction with therapy. Beth Johnson, a motivational instructor of de-cluttering workshops, recommends attending a support group and offers practical solutions for hoarders and for those who want to help them: Excavate one tiny area at a time (one corner, one drawer). Throw out broken items and moldy food. Sort before discarding anything. It will be easier to throw things out when you see that you have 20 of the same thing. Donate items instead of throwing them away. It can be a comfort to know they can п¬Ѓnd a good home with someone else. DonвЂ™t buy a book unless you spend 30 minutes reading it in the book store. For every book you buy, relinquish two books that you identify as dispensable. When tempted by вЂњfreeвЂќ items, control the urge to acquire by imagining that you must pay a dollar for each one. Take before and after photos so you can see the difference and chart your progress. If you are suffering from this disabling condition, you no longer have to be trapped in the turmoil in your mind or the chaos in your home. There is help. There is hope. g Theresa Wright, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice with offices in Mt. Laurel and Colts Neck, NJ. She has worked in the mental health п¬Ѓeld for over 20 years. She received her Ph.D. from Temple University and works with diverse populations and age groups. HOARDER or COLLECTOR? According to Our Experts, Sometimes the Lines are Blurred BY KATHY WEYER EVER WATCH THE SHOW HOARDERS? Like a train wreck, itвЂ™s hard to watch and hard to look away. While most of us arenвЂ™t hoarders, we do have a tendency to have вЂњtoo much stuff.вЂќ Are you a hoarder? A collector? Somewhere in between? Read what our experts have to say. Barbara Berman of BBвЂ™s Clutter Solutions has seen her share of hoarders while organizing people and their spaces over the past п¬Ѓve years. Some of her clients come to her from Clutterers Anonymous, some look for help by themselves and some are referrals from family members. She works one-on-one and gauges possible success by including these questions in her assessment: 1. Why now? (What compelled you to contact me?) 2. Do you have the time, emotional and п¬Ѓnancial commitment to make this transition? 3. What have you done in the past? 4. Do you really want the help? Teri Fisher, owner of The Closet Gallery builds spaces to house collections by designing custom cabinetry. Clients call her when they want to get organized in a limited amount of space. While she has not dealt with hoarders directly, she suspects some of her clients may have OCD tendencies. What she has run across are compulsive shoppers who need a place to display their purchases (such as 400 pairs of shoes and excessive purchases of personal hygiene and cleaning products). Rather than going through and disposing/selling/donating their items, her approach is to tell them exactly how much space they have to work with efficiently, and let them decide what to put in their new, improved areas. She does not necessarily [ encourage getting rid of things, rather putting them in storage if you donвЂ™t need to see it every day or need easy access. Some things you just canвЂ™t part withвЂ”nor should you have toвЂ”like that old college T-shirt or the shoes you used in the 60-mile breast cancer walk. In order to help clients get organized, both professionals have a process: Д‘Ж«Ж«.+1,Ж« (%'!Ж« 3%0$Ж« (%'!Ж« ДЁ5+1Ж« )5Ж« %/+2!.Ж« 5+1Ж« have three of the same item Д‘Ж«Ж«+.0Ж«%*0+Ж«,%(!/Ж«ДЁ0./$ДҐ +*0!ДҐ/0+.!ДҐ/!((Д© Д‘Ж«Ж«('Ж«0$.+1#$Ж«!2!.5Ж«,.+!//Ж«3%0$Ж«+),//%+*Ж« and patience, and know that you are working to help someone get a handle on a difficult part of his or her life. LEARN MORE ABOUT IT ] BBвЂ™S CLUTTER SOLUTIONS www.BB-clutter-solutions.com THE CLOSET GALLERY www.theclosetgallery.com CLUTTERERS ANONYMOUS http://sites.google.com/site/clutterersanonymous/Home/am-i-a-clutterer We Offer Seniors Care When WeвЂ™re There And Safety Around-The-Clock. Helping seniors maintain independent lives means providing the reliable in-home care and safety they need every day. For over a decade weвЂ™ve been bringing trusted senior care services home, whether companion care such as cooking or light housekeeping, to personal care like help with bathing or grooming. And for around-the-clock safety, our SafetyChoiceВ® Personal Emergency Response Systems and medicine dispensers give seniors and families peace-of-mind that help is always available. Hom e #3*/(*/($"3& t *OIPNFTFOJPS care services t $PNQBOJPODBSF t -JHIUIPVTFLFFQJOHDPPLJOH t &SSBOETJODJEFOUBMUSBOTQPSUBUJPO t 1FSTPOBMDBSFTFSWJDFT t 4FOJPSTBGFUZUFDIOPMPHJFT t1FSTPOBM&NFSHFODZ3FTQPOTF6OJUT t.FEJDJOF%JTQFOTFST 856-857-6120 Haddonfield 856-582-1054 Pitman &BDIPГЇDFJOEFQFOEFOUMZPXOFEBOEPQFSBUFE]Л�$,'SBODIJTJOH*OD W W W .COMFOR T KE E P E R S . C O M GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 21 Q A & Deidre Hall Talks About the Days of Her Life HOW DOES DEIRDRE HALL DO IT? AFTER DECADES OF PORTRAYING MARLENA EVANS ON DAYS OF OUR LIVES, SHE LOOKS AS LOVELY AS EVER. LUCKY FOR US, SHE SHARES HER BEAUTY SECRETS IN HER NEW BOOK, HOW DOES SHE DO IT? A BEAUTY BOOK. DEIDRE AND HER BEST FRIEND AND WRITING PARTNER, LYNNE BOWMAN, SPILL THEIR MOST CLOSELY HELD BEAUTY RITUALS, FROM THEIR BEAUTIFUL BUTT EXERCISES TO THE INS AND OUTS OF PERMANENT MAKEUP, WEIGHT LOSS AND COSMETIC SURGERY. AMONG THE PAGES OF BEAUTY ADVICE IN THIS BOOK, YOUвЂ™LL FIND A COMPLETELY UN-RETOUCHED PHOTO OF DEIDREвЂ”WHAT SHE CALLS вЂњFULL FACIAL NUDITY.вЂќ WE CAN TELL YOU THIS: THIS IS ONE WOMAN WHO KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT LOOKING GOOD AT ANY AGE. BY MARIA MICOLUCCI 22 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com MM: Deidre, tell us why you decided to write How Does She Do It? DH: The beauty book is a natural extension of the way Lynne and I live in our friendship. On any given moment, we are standing in someoneвЂ™s bathroom, cosmetics strung before us and eagerly soaking up what the other has learned. MM: What has the response been from your fans about the book? DH: ItвЂ™s been interesting to watch because there is so much more interest around this book than around Kitchen Closeup, (DeidreвЂ™s п¬Ѓrst book, published in 2010). ItвЂ™s dealing with topics that women really care about. MM: What is the one single beauty mistake you think women make? DH: Anything in excess diminishes our natural beauty, so, too much hair spray? I think it should be about letting our natural beauty shine through. MM: What is your single favorite antiaging skin care product? DH: Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate. Do it often and do it well. There are many great brands, so itвЂ™s a matter of trying to see what works for you! MM: What do you think of the style of twenty-somethings today? DH: The truth is that as styles change everybody gets the chance to have their look come into fashion. I like that about changing style. I love the look right now with the leggings and boots and shorter skirts. GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 23 MM: Many baby boomer women have trouble maintaining a healthy weight. It just isnвЂ™t as easy as it used to be!В What is your advice for them? DH: The key word here is вЂњhealthy.вЂќ ItвЂ™s about being diligent and respectful of your body, and understanding that what you put into it counts. My favorite advice is, once you п¬Ѓnd a weight where your body is comfortable, learn to love it. MM: Tell us about your enduring friendship with your writing partner, Lynne Bowman. DH: When I was a model, one of my assignments was for a hair product, and she worked for Redken Laboratories. We met and that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. WeвЂ™ve seen each other through incredible joys and unspeakable horrors and exquisite betrayal sitting around that kitchen table discussing the events of our day. MM: What do your friendships mean to you? DH: The women in my life are so nurturing and supportive and they hold a very dear place in my heart. They are always there for me as I am for them; this is what true women and true friends do. MM: Any more books planned in your future? DH: I have been п¬‚irting with the idea of a manners book. I am so weary of walking through my life and seeing people who donвЂ™t know proper etiquette, proper grammar and have no sense of appropriate manners. MM: Tell us about whatвЂ™s going on at Days of Our Lives. DH: YouвЂ™ll have to tune in to п¬Ѓnd out! Tired of waiting to have that WOW factor in your home... Not sure where to start... В‹ Full Service Professional Interior Decorating В‹ Window Treatments В‹ Home Accessories/Area Rugs Call Debbie Titus at 1-908-752-2228 www.decorandyou.com/dtitus www.facebook.com/decorandyou.debbietitus 24 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com MM: Days is the only daytime drama series to increase in viewers over the last few seasons. In our virtually-obsessed society, does that surprise you? DH: People seem to be very excited about Days, so IвЂ™m happy to say IвЂ™m not surprised. We have wonderful new writers, Darrell and Marlene, and they have made the show so relevant and watchable again that IвЂ™m just so excited every time I open a new script! MM: What has it been like to play a character like Marlena Evans for so long? DH: IвЂ™ve played Marlena since 1976 and thatвЂ™s longer than every relationship IвЂ™ve had in my life, longer than my relationship with my children and if you combine my marriages (laughs). ItвЂ™s great. I love her. I love spending my day with her and watching her grow! MM: Tell us what the 2-1/2 years were like that you spent away from Days. DH: It was not my choice to leave the show, and there was a time where I didnвЂ™t think I could separate Marlena from Deidre and vice versa. I quickly learned how to relax, take walks on the beach and just spend time with dear and cherished friends. MM: What charities are closest to your heart? DH: They change all the time. I am attached to Operation Smile, having spent one of the greatest times in my life with my son David on a mission in Brazil. I lobbied Congress for the Child Nutrition Act. Other charities that attract me are plentiful. MM: What book is on your nightstand right now? DH: Several. IвЂ™m reading Nora EphronвЂ™s new book, a sign language book and I love my Psychology Today. MM: Tell us a few things most people donвЂ™t know about you. DH: I think people already know that IвЂ™m a passionate kitchen beautician. I think they know that one of my favorite pastimes is knitting baby sweaters. They may not know how much I love to decorate cakes, work in my garden, cook ffrom scratch and vacuum my own rugs. LONG-TIME BFFS AND WRITING PARTNERS LYNNE BOWMAN AND DEIDRE HALL. MM: What was your greatest moment on Days? DH: The moments that come to mind are the times I was able to step out off Marlena. l It has nothing to do with not loving Marlena, it is simply the pleasure of a change of pace. MM: What would be your favorite way to spend a day off? DH: Waking up in the morning, turning to my daily appointment schedule and п¬Ѓnding a completely blank page. Beyond that, a walk to the edge of the continent, what I call my little piece of the ocean; bouncing around with my children and in the evening, settling down to an episode of Downton Abbey. MM: How are your sons doing? DH: Spectacular! David completed his п¬Ѓrst semester at college in Paris, and Tully is enjoying being a junior in high school and I still adore being their mom. MM: What does the future hold for Deidre Hall? DH: I canвЂ™t wait to see! D MM: What would you like to M say to Girlfriendz readers? DH DH: I п¬Ѓnd that all of us are stru struggling with how to fulп¬Ѓll the п¬Ѓ п¬Ѓnal third of our lives. ItвЂ™s a hot topic t of conversation among my ba baby boomer friends. We want to rem remain active, vital and still h have a deep desire to contribute. We have succeeded in business, we have raised our children and the rest is up to our heartвЂ™s desire. I have numbers of friends who have spoken quite seriously about growing old together in a large house by the ocean being cared for by a chef and driver, and companioned by life-long friends. To that end, in the п¬Ѓnal third of my life, I look forward to giving back. PHILLY LOVES A WINNER 24/7 GAMING ACTION g Maria Micolucci had a 10-year career in п¬Ѓnancial services working for mutual fund companies, primarily in Boston, MA. After moving to the Philadelphia area, she began to volunteer in politics and became a Chief of Staff for a state legislator. Maria is currently a freelance writer living in Wayne, PA with her husband and two children. Visit her book review website at www. girlfriendbooks.com. FREE VALET AND SELF-PARKING ON DELAWARE AVE. 1 MI. NORTH OF BEN FRANKLIN BRIDGE sugarhousecasino.com | 877.477.3715 GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1.800.GAMBLER. 25 Do You Need a PROBIOTIC? Go With Your Gut! BY ROZANNE GELBINOVICH FROM THE ACTIVIA COMMERCIALS STARRING JAMIE LEE CURTIS TO THE PLETHORA OF OVER-THECOUNTER SUPPLEMENTS ON THE MARKET, PROBIOTICS HAVE BEEN INFILTRATING MAINSTREAM CONSCIOUSNESS. BUT WHAT EXACTLY ARE PROBIOTICS? SHOULD YOU BE TAKING THEM? AND IF SO, WHICH ONES AND IN WHAT FORM? WE GOT THE SCOOP FROM THE EXPERTS ON EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT PROBIOTICS. LetвЂ™s start at the top: What exactly are probiotics? They are helpful in restoring the good bacteriaвЂ”or п¬‚oraвЂ”in your gastrointestinal (GI) system. Particularly if youвЂ™ve been on an antibiotic regimen for a while, probiotics might be essential, as antibiotics tend to quash both bad bacteria (which ultimately makes you feel better) and the good bacteria in your system (which might actually make you feel even worse). вЂњIn my practice, I recommend clients take probiotics following antibiotics,вЂќ says Elsie Kerns, a certiп¬Ѓed energy medicine practitioner and wellness educator based in Marlton. вЂњAntibiotics suppress the symptoms but also kill all the good bacteria in the body, so itвЂ™s easier to pick up the next bug going around. Antibiotics also proliferate yeast problems. Without friendly bacteria in the gut, yeast takes over and creates a myriad of other unpleasant 26 symptoms like bloating, brain fog and fatigue. Probiotics on a daily basis are an excellent way to help the body, and especially the gut, maintain health and wellness.вЂќ вЂњA lot of times when someoneвЂ™s gotten antibiotics for, say, a sinus infection, it may change the bacteria they have in their colon and that allows some of the bad bacteria to multiply, and those can cause problems,вЂќ says Dr. Noel Martins, gastroenterologist with the Kennedy Health System, whose office is in Sewell. So probiotics are useful in restoring good bacteria in your system, but if you donвЂ™t actually have any GI problems, should you be taking them simply as a matter of course? The experts we spoke to had differing opinions on the matter. According to Carolyn J. Boyer, personal probiotic consultant for Natren Inc., вЂњProbiotics are for everyone. TheyвЂ™re great for every- GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com day dietary supplementation and for use as a preventive. They assist the immune system to build natural good п¬‚ora and in the digestive system to help with the bodyвЂ™s pH balance.вЂќ However, according to Dr. Ronald Ciccone, medical director for integrative family medicine for Lourdes Health System, whose office is in Collingswood, though everyone could beneп¬Ѓt from probiotics, not everybody necessarily needs them. Dr. Martins agrees: вЂњI donвЂ™t think everyone should necessarily be on probiotics, but I think there are some people who can beneп¬Ѓt from them. ThereвЂ™s not much downsideвЂ”the main one is the costвЂ”but there are some people who speciп¬Ѓcally beneп¬Ѓt from them. I donвЂ™t tell every one of my patients to take probiotics. They may or may not help.вЂќ вЂњProbiotics might be considered вЂ�preventive maintenanceвЂ™ versus вЂ�crisis management,вЂ™вЂќ suggests Kerns. вЂњThey support the immune system, aid regularity and digestion. Based on our processed diet, stress and now resistance to many antibiotic strains, as well as living longer, everything we can do to enhance personal health is to our advantage.вЂќ What do the doctors we spoke with recommend probiotics for? вЂњFirst of all, we use them as treatment for patients who have GI distress,вЂќ says Dr. Ciccone. вЂњMany people have irritable bowel syndrome and many times itвЂ™s just a matter of imbalance of good/bad bacteria or enzymes in the GI tract.вЂќ вЂњThe groups of people I tend to use them for are people with irritable bowel syndrome, bacterial overgrowth and C. difficile infection. I tend to use it for people who have had infections in their intestines and people who arenвЂ™t feeling well after having taken antibiotics,вЂќ says Dr. Martins. According to Dr. Ciccone, whatвЂ™s key is that everyone has his or her own biochemical makeup and that a speciп¬Ѓc probiotic treatment regimen will work differently for different peopleвЂ”or might not work at all. вЂњItвЂ™s always good to give a combination of probiotic strains. The one we use in the office has about 12 different strains,вЂќ Dr. Ciccone states. вЂњYouвЂ™re trying to balance the good bacteria versus the bad bacteria. And itвЂ™s not just for balancing the bacteria; it also helps the immune system.вЂќ вЂњProbiotics need to be a combination of several strains,вЂќ agrees Kerns. вЂњThere are many excellent probiotic products to choose from but I generally recommend Natren products because they have quality super strains, proper processing and clinically proven results backed by scientiп¬Ѓc research. Natren carries probiotic products for every age, starting with babies, adults and even for animals. Natren has been in business for over 30 years and provides excellent phone support with their probiotic specialist.вЂќ вЂњProbiotics are important for everyoneвЂ” young and old, sick or healthy,вЂќ adds Boyer. вЂњThere are probiotics for infants, children, teens and adults. Also, itвЂ™s important to purchase probiotics that are live cultures that are housed and shipped refrigerated.вЂќ However even that claim, according to Dr. Ciccone, is controversial among experts in the п¬Ѓeld. вЂњThe consensus isвЂ”refrigerated or non-refrigeratedвЂ”as long as itвЂ™s a good quality brand and manufacturer, the product is good.вЂќ And Dr. Ciccone emphasizes that if you purchase refrigerated probiotics, make sure you keep them refrigerated, otherwise they will essentially die and thus lose their effectiveness.вЂќ Also, says Dr. Ciccone, whatever over-thecounter probiotic you purchase, make sure itвЂ™s one with a high dose of live active cultures. вЂњA lot of times treatment doesnвЂ™t work on people because they take OTC probiotics and dosages are really low. You have to treat in billions; in some people they treat it with trillions. So you really need high doses of probiotics to make them work. вЂњProbably about half the contents of the bowels are bacteriaвЂ”thatвЂ™s 100 trillion bacteria. So if you think about treating it with a few billion, you can see how youвЂ™re not really making a big dent.вЂќ But what if you donвЂ™t want to take pills? Yogurt and keп¬Ѓr are good options. вЂњActivia has about 1 to 3 billion live active cultures, which is not a lot, but sometimes a small amount can actually help,вЂќ says Dr. Ciccone. вЂњIf someone is concerned about taking probiotics, I usually suggest they have the yogurt with the live active cultures,вЂќ Dr. Martins agrees. вЂњItвЂ™s kind of a milder way to change your п¬‚ora.вЂќ вЂњYogurt is a healthy, cultured food that is good for the gut,вЂќ Kerns notes. вЂњHowever, many people cannot tolerate dairy, and following a round of antibiotics, it would take a long time to build up the good bacteria again with just yogurt. Probiotics as a preventive measure on a daily basis is one very healthy way to nurture the body and support our best defense systemвЂ”our immune system.вЂќ Boyer suggests powders or chewables as alternatives to pills. вЂњPowders are a help with upper gastrointestinal conditions. As you drink them, they help coat the esophagus and get in the digestive system faster for more immediate assistance,вЂќ she says. Ultimately, probiotics are good for restoring the balance of good bacteria in your gut. But, as with any other supplements or medications, itвЂ™s essential that you contact your healthcare professional or an expert in the п¬Ѓeld before starting on any kind of serious regimen of probiotics. Since everyone has a different biochemical makeup, it may take some trial and error to п¬Ѓnd the best combination of probiotics that work for you. Dr. Martins also warns that if you start on a regimen because of mild abdominal pain or bloating, and you donвЂ™t feel better after a week or two, get checked out for the possibility of a more serious illness. вЂњWe all need good п¬‚ora in our digestive system to keep us healthy. Restoring the good bacteria by taking probiotics and removing the bad or unneeded pathogens is something we need to do on a daily basis. Our bodies need to re-establish the п¬‚ora because we lose enough of the good on a daily basis through different means such as stress, diets, sickness and not enough rest,вЂќ Boyer says. ItвЂ™s important to take care of our bodies, and probiotics вЂ” in the right combination and doses вЂ” could be just what the doctor ordered. g [ LEARN MORE ABOUT IT ] RONALD P. CICCONE, MD Lourdes Health System www.lourdeswellnesscenter.org/ integrative-health-care WINNING IS A BEAUTIFUL THING FREE RIDES TO & FROM THE 2012 PHILADELPHIA INTERNATIONAL FLOWER SHOW NOEL MARTINS, MD Kennedy Health System www.kennedyhealth.org/patients-andvisitors/п¬Ѓnd-a-doctor.html ELSIE KERNS Wellness for Life www.wellnesswithelsie.com CAROLYN J. BOYER Natren, Inc. www.natren.com FREE VALET AND SELF-PARKING ON DELAWARE AVE. 1 MI. NORTH OF BEN FRANKLIN BRIDGE Rozanne Gelbinovich works as a copy editor for The Drug Store News Group, a group of trade publications that covers the retail drug store, health care and pharmaceutical industries. She also is a weekly columnist for amNewYork, a free daily commuter newspaper distributed throughout the city, and keeps up her travel blog, bitten (bittentravel.blogspot.com), where she combines her two passions: travel and writing. sugarhousecasino.com | 877.477.3715 GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1.800.GAMBLER. DAWN JONES The Story of a Survivor IT WAS THANKSGIVING 1999. I GOT A CALL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. MY MOM HAD HAD A HEART ATTACK. She was visitingВ my brother in Virginia. I laid in bed getting my plan together to go there the next day. I tried to fall back to sleep as my mindВ was racing. The same spot at the top of my left breast that had been itchy was starting to itch again, but this time I felt a lump. In the months leading up to that night, IвЂ™d been wondering why I was havingВ discomfort wearing a bra. I searched outВ every type and manufacturerВ I could get my hands onВ andВ still I found no comfort. I soon found out why.В Once my mom was out of danger and recuperating,В I returned to New York to A NEW REALITY Prior to the biopsy,В cancer was the farthestВ thought from my mind. There was no family history. I was now my familyвЂ™sВ history.В I was confused, upset, out of my mind with fear. IВ had to make some veryВ serious decisions quickly. I wanted to take my time and do research. But my oncologist said she needed to start chemotherapy or I wouldnвЂ™t be here to research anything. It took just about a year of treatment to stop the spreading and shrink the tumor, before they could cut my breast off.В Cut my breast off. Wow! That brings me back.В At that time, my home life was soВ out of balance, sometimes I couldnвЂ™t remember if I was crying about the cancer,В the horrible side вЂњTHIS is an extremely aggressive CANCER,вЂќ he said, ...After that, I saw his mouth moving , but couldnвЂ™t HEAR his WORDS. BY DAWN JONES 28 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com see my GYN. She measured the lump. It was 2 cms, and I was sent for a biopsy. The following week the surgeonВ came into the exam room, measured the lump and to his surprise and mine, it had grown to 8 cms in only 6 days. It was stage 3 inп¬‚ammatory breast cancer. The nature of the disease is that it not only causes tumors but also attacks the skin. вЂњThis is an extremely aggressive cancer,вЂќ he said, вЂњand we need to get you into chemotherapy вЂ�yesterdayвЂ™вЂ¦вЂќ After that, I saw his mouth moving, but I couldnвЂ™t hear his words. At п¬Ѓrst I couldnвЂ™t п¬Ѓnd my voice, then I screamed вЂњWhat the %?@$ did you just say?!вЂќВ IВ remember him being so cold and condescending, asВ if he were saying вЂњIвЂ™m going for coffee.вЂќ Before he walked out of the room, he instructed me to call his office with any questions or concerns. After leaving four messages and getting no response, I found another surgeon who would do the mastectomy. effects or the turmoil in my house. Two of my girlfriends, Marlene and Lorna, came to cook some meals for me and my family because I was too sick to get out of bed.В I was sick all the time. No appetite, always nauseous, always tiredвЂ¦ PHILLY LOVES A WINNER LIVE ENTERTAINMENT WEDNESDAY вЂ“ SATURDAY TIME FOR SOME SHOPPING It took some months for my skin to heal.В The time had come for radiation therapy. Toward the end of treatment, my skin looked as if IвЂ™d been caught in a п¬Ѓre, but after months of treating the radiated skin, it healed up nicely. Now I had to prepare myself to shop for a prosthesis.В IВ love shopping, but I had never thought IвЂ™d be shopping forВ a boob!В WOOHOO! That was some experience.В I had to start with a soft cotton breast formвЂ”a softieвЂ”which had no weight to it for comfortвЂ™s sake. The day I received it, I wanted to party. Although at that time, the largest softie was still smaller than my right breast, a 40D. Can you imagine FREE VALET AND SELF-PARKING ON DELAWARE AVE. 1 MI. NORTH OF BEN FRANKLIN BRIDGE sugarhousecasino.com | 877.477.3715 GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1.800.GAMBLER. 29 walking around, a 40D on one side and п¬‚atchested on the other?В It was yet another bitter pill to swallow.В All the staring and whispering was overwhelming in the beginning. But then I thought, вЂњI am alive!вЂќ Since the softie had no weight, I would constantly have to adjust it. I was always lopsided.В Once the permanent silicone breast arrived--oh happy day!вЂ”I didnвЂ™t have to adjust my bra anymore. The only challenge was going swimming. Can you picture your breast as a п¬‚oatation device? I had to laugh at myself. I wore the prosthesis for 18 months. Sometimes it would cause pain to the area since it was so heavy, but my oldest son didnвЂ™t want me thinking about having surgery for anything, let alone reconstructing my breast. I donвЂ™t think my boys really knew how to communicate their feelings about the breast cancer. They didnвЂ™t have anyone to talk to about what I was going through and just as importantly, what they were going through. My consultation for reconstructive surgery went very well with my new surgeon whoвЂ™d come highly recommended. He answered all of my questions and concerns and showed me pictures of women whoвЂ™d had the different types of reconstructive surgeries. Before replacing the breast, the challenge was being able to use my own body fat as for me that all things are possible and that God has blessed us with faith and very talented doctors. But this country really needs to change its insurance policies with regard to care after major surgery. I came home with п¬Ѓve drainage tubes. IвЂ™ll skip the details, but the self-care was difficult, especially when all I wanted to do was get through the pain. I am very happy that I had the surgery, because at the end of the day, I felt like I had two feet on the ground again. I felt sexy again, too, as the end result left me with a tummy tuck and some 18 year old boobs. Not bad! BACK TO WORK BUT MORE DAWN DURING TREATMENT, SURPRISES It was 2005/2006 when I re-entered filler, because WITH HER LOVED ONES. THERE ARE SIX CTCAs THROUGHOUT the workforce. I worked a full- and after my breast THE USвЂ”ONE IN PHILADELPHIA. a part-time job at a mall in White and tissue were FOR MORE INFO, VISIT WWW. Plains, New York. I was cleaning up removed, there CANCERCENTER.COM/ the stockroom one day, and I was was a deep dent EASTERN-HOSPITAL.CFM. on a ladder when I lost my balance. in my chest. My While maneuvering to regain it, I felt doctor was able to successfully п¬Ѓll in the dent with my body something snap under my left arm. The next fat, and reduced the size of my right breast to day, the arm was swollen and hot. I left work for the hospital and was there for a weekвЂ”the make them even. Revisiting this whole process reconп¬Ѓrms diagnosis, lymph edema. I cried when they told me how it was going to change my life. That was wicked. In August 2007, I п¬Ѓnally had my overdue appointment to see my doctor. Scans, a full blood workup, tests, you name it. The results were horrible and mortifying. The cancer had metastasized to my lymphatic system in my chest, neck and throat. I was in stage 4 cancerвЂ”the п¬Ѓnal stage. Not that it meant instant death. There are 4 stages in cancer diagnosis, 4 being the most aggressiveвЂ”the really badass type and the most difficult to treat. Maybe if I had stopped working so hard, maybe if I had not allowed stress to keep me from eating right and sleeping, maybe if I had stopped smoking. I tortured myself, blamed myself, hated myself for not taking better care of myself. I went straight into denial, at least until the recurrence put me in the hospital at the end of the year. Treatment started in mid-January 2008 and would end the last week in June. The chemo was really rough. I noticed three plum-sized tumorsвЂ”one on the nape of my neck and the other two down my back right next to my spine. I was beside myself with anger, fear and disbelief that I was growing new tumors while I was getting really strong chemo. I completed the treatment cycle, but the rash was still there as well as the new tumors. Four weeks later, almost to the day, every single tumor that had gone away with the treatment I had just п¬Ѓnished, was back! How could this be?! More chemo, but п¬Ѓrst, surgery to put a port in my chest to administer it since the veins in my arm were so badly burned from the other chemo. I didnвЂ™t want to do it, but I did. This new treatment lasted three months, but to everyoneвЂ™s surprise, two weeks later, more tumors. For the following two weeks I had no words, I couldnвЂ™t п¬Ѓnd my voice. I couldnвЂ™t stop crying; I couldnвЂ™t eat, sleep or even think. I met with my doctor to п¬Ѓgure out a game plan and get a prescription for some pain medication, but nothing worked for the pain. My doctor informed me that there was nothing else she could do for me. Scared out of my mind, I went home and started writing my obituary. THE TURNAROUND I called her the next day and she repeated the news, but then suggested I call Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA). My oldest Your parents want to stay in the place they call home. We can help. Whether you are looking for someone to help you or a loved one a few hours a week, or need more comprehensive assistance, Home Instead can help. 7IVZMGIW-RGPYHI В€'SQTERMSRWLMT В€-RGMHIRXEP8VERWTSVXEXMSR В€0MKLX,SYWIOIITMRK В€1IEP4VITEVEXMSR В€4IVWSREP'EVI В€1IHMGEXMSR6IQMRHIVW В€7LSTTMRK )VVERHW Each Home Instead Senior CareВ® franchise office is independently owned and operated. В©2011 Home Instead, Inc. 30 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com sister, Lynore, came with me. She was my caregiver at that time. My doctor told me what the plan was going to be, what type of chemo, how often, and that, when he received the biopsy report back in three weeks, he might have to change the treatment. Treatment at CTCA started on January 18, 2009, and three days later the three big plumsized tumors where gone. The results of the biopsy showed the pimply skin rash was not a rash at all, but a secondary cancer! Treatment continued and by March, I was off all pain medications. I also found out that my sternum was impacted by the cancer, which is why I was still having trouble breathing п¬Ѓve months after IвЂ™d quit smoking. CTCA has given me more than treatment. TheyвЂ™ve given me therapy for my mind, body & spirit, and they have given me HOPE. I am a proud mom of two very special sons, Michael & Christopher, and the grandma of four very special grandchildren, Tysher, Jayda, Nyier and Christian. I now have balance, peace, joy and much, much love in my life, not just for myself but for others. This journey continues, and I am grateful. A little HOPE, goes a long way. g Serving Gloucester , Camden and Burlington Counties +PSYGIWXIV'S&/MRKW;E]; 7I[IPP2. LSQIMRWXIEHGSQ 'EQHIR &YVPMRKXSR21ETPI%ZI 1EVPXSR2. LSQIMRWXIEHWRNGSQ 31 +LHSPUN^P[O+PMГ„J\S[7LVWSL BY VICTORIA HANDFIELD, PsyD A BUSINESS IS MADE UP OF MANY TYPES OF PEOPLE, each one bringing a different talent to the table. But what happens when difficult personalities are thrown into the mix? Nancy Stampahar of Silver Lining Solutions TV says there are two types of difficult people found in the workplace: vultures and ostriches. вЂњThe enraged body and voice of the attackingВ vultureВ demonstrates aggressiveВ behaviors. The buried head of the silent ostrich demonstrates passivity. Personiп¬Ѓed, the vulture would treat other people with disrespect, and the ostrich would treat him or herself with disrespect. Neither would be effective in resolving conп¬‚ict, motivating others or building deep, lasting relationships.В Both passive and aggressive behavior types contribute to conп¬‚ict and can make a bad situation worse.вЂќ A consultant and speaker, Stampahar gives practical advice on making life better in the workplace in her awardwinning book, Peace, Love, and Lemonade: A Recipe to Make Your Life Sweeter. вЂњThere will always be people in our lives we enjoy being with, and those we continuously struggle to get along with.В Conп¬‚icts do occur, andВ it is critical to learn how to effectively resolve them to ensure a safe, positive and respectful environment.вЂќ Other difficult personality types in the workplace include: Д•Еї# Еї'& Д•Еї# Еї1 -'* Д•Еї# Еї- Д¦0/Еї-*0' (& Д•Еї# Еї -+ /0'Еї#$) -Еї YouвЂ™ve no doubt come across at least one person from each of these categories throughout your career, and might even be dealing with some right now. Here are some ways you can cope:. The Slacker: The Slacker does next to nothing at work. She makes a lot of personal 32 calls, spends time on personal emails, gossip and might even do her nails when she should be working on a project. How does she get away with it? Slackers are highly skilled at hiding these behaviors from bosses and managers. When honest, hard-working, multitasking people work with Slackers, they get very stressed out. They feel a lot of resentment and spend considerable time and energy trying to п¬Ѓgure out what to do about their slacking co-workers. In many workplaces, itвЂ™s not a good idea to complain about them, even though the situation might dredge up feelings many of us had as children when bullying took place. As a result, many people lack skills when it comes to п¬Ѓnding creative solutionsвЂ”especially assertiveness. The best way to handle Slackers is to kill them with kindness. Not the saccharine type. Simply take the anger out of your voice and give an actual compliment (as hard as it can be). Ask for assistance (or tell her what needs to be done, depending on the power relationship), but be sure to do it in front of others. Being in front of an audience is crucial because in that situation, The Slacker canвЂ™t ignore or refuse your request. Presumably the job will get done, and you will earn a sense of satisfaction and relief. It will also build your conп¬Ѓdence, which will allow your creative mind to п¬Ѓnd other solutions as well. The Overloader: This is a boss who loads GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com you up with work she doesnвЂ™t want to do, barely responds to your questions or requests for data and spends all her time chatting and drinking coffee with other managers. She makes you want to pull your hair out (or hers). Your anger will build to the point where you canвЂ™t think creatively. HereвЂ™s what you can do in response: take many deep breaths and think about all you have done well. Then, make a list of the 10,000 tasks lined up for you and ask your boss to help you prioritize them. YouвЂ™re still giving her all the controlвЂ” youвЂ™re just asking for direction. You are also (not so subtly) letting her know how huge your list really is and the reality that even you have limits. The Trade-Out Troublemaker: This person is probably the worst and most dangerous office personality. She has been traded from section to section, department to department, and is a lousy, rotten trouble-maker. Either no one has the balls (or ovaries) to get rid of this employee, or the system makes it totally undoable. Everyone is sick to death of this person, but no one in your department knows the whole story until she is ensconced in your area. This employee is poison. First rule: wait until your boss sees the big picture. Avoid The Trade-Out Troublemaker as often as you possibly can. Document, document, document. When you see that your boss recognizes the danger, strategize how the troublemaker can be moved to yet another location. Treat that person with as much respect as you can gather from deep within yourself, because this is someone who is deeply troubled. When you do this, the employee will know that you are aware of her tactics and sheвЂ™ll usually leave you alone. But beware: now youвЂ™re identiп¬Ѓed in her mind as potential danger, so be very careful. Be on the lookout for undermining, back-stabbing behavior. Depending on your trust level with your colleagues, talk to them. Getting this person traded-out yet againвЂ”the true remedy to this situationвЂ”may take a very long time, since all too often, nobody recognizes how poisonous this person is until she has driven several valuable people out of the organization. This is one of the primary reasons it is so important to have a life outside of your workplace. The Perpetual Whiner: Compared with the poisonous personality of The Trade-Out Troublemaker, this person is a walk in the park. That is, until she begins her day-long whine. That can seriously get on your last nerve. The answer: be relentlessly positive. Instead of spending your energy feeling depleted and complaining to other co-workers, come up with creative, positive strategies and responses. It might just wear the whiner down and actually help her gain a new perspective. Work on improving your own life, and talk about that. Then youвЂ™re actually building defenses against the excessive onslaught of negativity you are being subjected to. You are also revealing another reality to the person who is so sadly burdened. Remember, this is a power play and a tough one at that! So build your own power baseвЂ” п¬Ѓrst, for yourself and second, to help the whiner. If she doesnвЂ™t get it, oh well! But youвЂ™ll feel better as a result, and are less affected by her previously overwhelming negativity. Whether your co-workers (or you?) are ostriches, vultures, slackers, overloaders, troublemakers or whiners, Stampahr advises, вЂњEstablish aВ safe work environment where open dialogue isВ welcome. This will create happiness, compassion,В strengthВ and productivity. The choice is yours!вЂќ g [ LEARN MORE ABOUT IT ] NANCY STAMPAHAR www.silverliningsolutions.tv VICTORIA HANDFIELD, PSYD www.gethealthygethappy.com Vicki Handп¬Ѓeld, PsyD, has been a clinical psychologist in Southern NJ for over 30 years. More recently, she launched Get Healthy, Get Happy, a 6-step coaching program to help individuals deп¬Ѓne and reach immediate, yet lasting health and wellness goals, whether to lose weight, stay п¬Ѓt, sleep better or follow a passion. Reach Vicki at info@gethealthygethappy.com or 609 386 5941. 33 A GIRLвЂ™Z life I Want to Play Dress Up! BY SANDI TUTTLE NO ONE GETS DRESSED UP ANY MORE. It used to be that you could tell when someone was dressed for work. A nice pair of trousers, dressy but practical shoes, a blouse and trim blazer were all marks of a proud woman in the workforce. Not anymore. I actually heard on the news the other day that a town had to pass a law prohib- 34 iting town workers from wearing low cut tops, п¬‚ip п¬‚ops and shorts to work. Are you kidding me? Since when has it become appropriate to dress for the office like you would dress for the beach? That might explain why you canвЂ™t get anyone to help you when you show up at a business. They all think theyвЂ™re on vacationвЂ”not at work. I donвЂ™t exactly blame the department stores. They do a great job. But who in their right mind, in this economy, would pay for a simple classic pair of trousers when they can pay $20 and get a matching pair of sweats? Even shoes are victims of this dumbing-down of our apparel. Nice ones are almost made to be instruments of torture. er thought I would see the day. Because even they have morphed into something universal and androgynous. A pair of PJs for the New Millennium is a tank top and a pair of pants. Then, there are Spanx. They are helpful. But they are just an updated version of those contraptions that used to be called girdles. They were hideous, sinister looking things that by sheer luck went out of fashion before I had to become intimately acquainted with them. But now, we all have to wear SpanxвЂ”the brand name thatвЂ™s actually become the deп¬Ѓning noun for the entire species. Like Xerox. I suppose I am overstating my case. A little. But not that much. You see, I work parttime in a dress shop. I hear what people ask for. And I think women are suffering from SHE whispered to me, almost as if afraid Dress Up Withdrawal. Any type of to break the spell, вЂњI FEEL LIKE A withdrawal process PRINCESS in this DRESS!вЂќ produces stress and discomfort. I donвЂ™t know any- But Dress Up Withdrawal is just wrong. one who can work And unnecessary! On so many levels. an eight-hour day in Think about it. What is the one activity all 4-inch heels. Even if women of all ages remember from their childyou spend half the day sit- hood? Dress Up! Putting on pretty clothes, ting at your desk, you have makeup, jewelry, shoesвЂ”transforming ourto get up and walk across the selves into the princesses we wanted to beвЂ” office sometime. Our alterna- and parading around our living rooms with tives seem to be just plain our friends in ruffles, bows, feathers and pearls. ugly; clunky designs Now, I see an actual hunger in the faces that masquerade of my customers. Women who wouldnвЂ™t deny as Mary Janes themselves a second helping of ice cream and do abso- will deny themselves a blouse in a pretty lutely nothing color because they are concerned someone for your п¬Ѓgure. will look at them and think they are overSure, theyвЂ™re dressed. So instead, we all buy ugly clothes, comfortable, but and drape other things over them to hide the they donвЂ™t do anything things the dress was supposed to hide in the for how you look. п¬Ѓrst place. ItвЂ™s a lot of work if you ask me. We have even I canвЂ™t tell you how many times IвЂ™ve become accus- heard from women that they love pretty tomed to things, but donвЂ™t have any place to wear going out in them anymore. They go out to eat. They our paja- have family functions. They go to church. mas. I nev- They lunch. They are normal women. But GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com the world has changed to the point where they feel overdressed if they wear more than a shirt and jeans. Yet they come into the shop and п¬Ѓnger the gossamer fabrics, touch the sequins and beads with gentle hands, try on the ball gowns and strapless numbers with an almost reverent look on their faces. They are longing to play Dress Up! This really hit home the other day. My customer was buying a dress for a friendвЂ™s wedding. She was a lovely lady with a shy smile who looked at the dresses on the rack like a starving man at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Since we had a great sale going at the time, I was able to put her in a gorgeous taffeta gown with a constellation of rhinestones on the bodice. The skirt belled out beneath the drop waist like п¬‚ower petals. She took one look at herself in the mirror and her eyes started shining like stars themselves. She whispered to me, almost as if afraid to break the spell, вЂњI feel like a princess in this dress!вЂќ And I felt like I could see the little girl she once was. It was a magical moment. ItвЂ™s easy to see why the ritual of buying a dress for your childвЂ™s wedding has become disproportionately stressful. ItвЂ™s the only time a woman actually gets to dress up in todayвЂ™s world. The big companies used to have Christmas parties but canвЂ™t afford them anymore. And going to a вЂ�nice restaurantвЂ™ these days means you change from the jeans you wore working in the garden to a clean pair. We canвЂ™t even invent an excuse to dress up. How sad. And yet, we continue to put things in the closet in hopes that, someday, weвЂ™ll be able to wear them. Malls have hundreds of stores full of shimmering, glistening, shiny dresses, evening bags and jewelry. We wander through this retail fantasy world and imagine how wonderful we would look if we had this dress, or that outп¬Ѓt. And then we wonder where we would ever wear it. We are starving women surrounded by what we crave. All dressed up and nowhere to go. ItвЂ™s enough to make you turn in your Spanx and sling backs, throw on your sweats and call it a day. Say Goodnight, Cinderella! Rhnphne]gm`hmhrhnk family physician for cosmetic t procedures, why go to a general dentist for cosmetic cosm dentistry? Meet Dr. Steve Markus, nationally known cosmetic and implant dentist, author, teacher, speaker and the creator of The Edge Veneers and Crowns. Repeatedly recognized by dentists surveyed for Philadelphia Magazine as the only Cosmetic Dentist in South Jersey, his websites explain and illustrate the science and art of Cosmetic Dentistry. before Sedation Dentistry after Financing Available Natural-looking results are just a few short weeks away! Dr. Steve Markus =k'=ZpgIabeebil=k'FZkdL\hmm The Centre for Dentistry +)2PabmÂhklÎbdÂZ]]hgA^bàml%G^pC^kl^r 856-Smile-SJ www.SmileSouthJersey.com www.theedgesmiles.com Exit 29 off Interstate 295 g Sandi Tuttle is the owner/operator of HomeBadger CreationsвЂ”handmade apparel wraps, ponchos, shawls, scarves and tunics for women of all ages. Visit www.homebadger.com. Sandi is also the host of the Internet Radio Show вЂњAn Average Woman in a Superwoman World,вЂќ and a featured authority on the Diva Toolbox. She and her husband live in Marlton. GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 35 A GIRLвЂ™Z life Let our family care for yours. The Cat Who Came to Dinner BY NICOLE PENSIERO IT STARTEDвЂ”AS LIFE-ALTERING EXPERIENCES OFTEN DOвЂ”unassumingly enough. It was a Friday night, early DecemberвЂ”cold. As I approached my front door, a small black and white cat darted out from nowhere. He (a male, as I later learned) was extremely friendly, wrapping himself around my legs as I fumbled with my front door key. And, as I quickly discovered, he was also extremely hungry. I went inside and scanned my refrigerator for something I could feed him, then headed back out with the best I could come up with, chicken salad, which he promptly wolfed down. (вЂњHeвЂ™s probably lost,вЂќ I told myself, shutting the door). The following night, same thing: cat on doorstep, a quick meal, a door shutting. But in a weak moment, I made a decision that would seal both our fates: I opened up the door and let the stray cat inside to warm up for a few minutes. As little tuxedo cat tentatively entered my living room, I sat on my couch to begin sorting through my mail. Suddenly, he was on the couch with me, purring loudly and resting his chin on my leg, much like a puppy dog would do. He promptly fell asleep on my lap, only NICOLE WITH HER MOM AND THE LUCKY GATTO. 36 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com was set until he called from the vetвЂ™s office to inform me a test for feline leukemia had come back positive, and the cat was going to be euthanized. He had other cats and didnвЂ™t want to run the risk of them contracting this potentially fatal illness. The vet, he said, thought it was for the best. Distraught, I urged my friend not to do anything until I got there. I just couldnвЂ™t believe that this friendly, healthy-looking (albeit skinny) cat needed to be put down. And, after prodding the veterinarian for a bit more info, I learned that feline leukemia was not an automatic death sentence. True, if the cat was to be put outdoors again, his compromised immune system would put him at risk for potentially deadly illnesses. GATTO has served to remind me that In that case, euthanasia would EVERY LIVING CREATURE вЂ¦deserves a second CHANCE. be the more compassionate route. BUT, the vet said, to be wakened in a few if the cat could be cared for indoors, in a lovminutes as I led him to ing home, he would likely thrive. the front door and back I stared at my friend, then at the vet, and out into the cold. It had then at the kitty, who was by this time curled to be done, I reasoned: up in my lap. вЂњWell,вЂќ I heard myself saying, вЂњI for one thing, he might guess IвЂ™ll have to п¬Ѓnd him a home.вЂќ actually have an owner; Things moved quickly from there. The for another, I am allergic still-unnamed cat stayed overnight at the to cats. But already, try animal hospital to be neutered, de-п¬‚ead, and as I might to п¬Ѓght it, I vaccinated. My friend and co-worker Dana, a was bonding. longtime cat owner, came with me to pick him So off he went again, up the next day. She laughed when she saw back out into the Decem- the massive variety of cat food IвЂ™d acquired: ber night. But the next вЂњYou need to pick one brand and stick with day, the kitty was back it,вЂќ she explained. вЂњSame with litter.вЂќ again. You see where I knew nothing about cats, but learned this is heading, donвЂ™t quickly. For four days, the kitty lived in my you? house, following me from room to room I posted signs in my and resting his head on my leg the second I condo development in would sit down. I loaded up on allergy medicase anyone had lost a cine and convinced myself that if I didnвЂ™t give cat. No response. Then him a name, I wouldnвЂ™t get too attached. (Fat a friend told me he was chance.) interested in taking the A few days later, my mother kindly offered cat. I thought everything to take the cat for a few weeks, until I could п¬Ѓnd him a permanent home. YouвЂ™re totally getting where this is going, right? Now my mom is a good soul, but I hardly think she was planning to become a pet owner at age 83. But it only took a couple of weeks before she decided she would keep this charming feline, whom she named Gatto (Italian for вЂњcat.вЂќ) Good-natured, extremely affectionate, well-behaved, and at times, ridiculously cute -- you should see how he chills out, п¬‚at on his back, paws in the air, eyes wide open вЂ“ Gatto has become a big part of our family. I visit him often, so much so that one of my momвЂ™s neighbors called recently to see if she was doing ok: вЂњI keep seeing your daughterвЂ™s car in front of your house and I was wondering if youвЂ™ve been sickвЂ¦вЂќ Gatto and Mom have their routines: up at 7 am, breakfast and then Gatto relaxes (sometimes for hours) in a cardboard box set up by my momвЂ™s kitchen picture window. The box is equipped with two of his favorite things: fuzzy pink socks, strategically placed along the boxвЂ™s edges (so he can rest his head on something soft, of course), and a Christmas tea towel to lie on. Nearby is an array of brushes used to smooth out his now-lustrous fur, and a little stuffed tuxedo cat he likes to play with that weвЂ™ve dubbed вЂњthe nemesis.вЂќ Spoiled? Yes. Adored? Certainly. But more than anything, Gatto has served to remind me that every living creature вЂ“ humans and animals alike вЂ“ deserves a second chance. Because of him, I now volunteer at a spayneuter clinic run by the Camden County Animal Shelter. Because of him, IвЂ™m a PetSmart adoption center volunteer, trying to help п¬Ѓnd homes for other felines who have yet to experience GattoвЂ™s good fortune. And because of him, life is a bit brighter for everyone in our family. g Nicole Pensiero is a South Jersey native and a longtime freelance writer who works full-time in marketing and public relations. Nicole is an avid traveler and music fan, who now understands (and fears) the clichГ© of a вЂњcrazy cat lady.вЂќ б‚ё В‘ВЏВ’ВѓВђВ‹В‘Вђ ВѓВ”В‡ б‚ё В‡В”В•В‘ВђВѓВЋВѓВ”В‡ б‚ё В‡ВЏВ‡ВђВ–В‹ВѓВѓВ”В‡В’В‡В…В‹ВѓВЋВ‹В•В–В• б‚ё В‹В�В‡З¦В‹ВђВѓВ”В‡ ВЉВ‡В–В”В—В•В–В‡В†В•В‘В—В”В…В‡В€В‘В”В‡ВљВ…В‡В’В–В‹В‘ВђВѓВЋ ВђВ‘ВђЗ¦ВЏВ‡В†В‹В…ВѓВЋЗЎ б‚ё В‡В™В‘ВЏВ—В’В’В‘В”В– В‹ВђЗ¦ВЉВ‘ВЏВ‡В…ВѓВ”В‡ВѓВђВ†В•В—В’В’В‘В”В–В€В‘В”В‘В�В‡В” б‚ё В‡В†В‹В…ВѓВ–В‹В‘ВђВ‡ВЏВ‹ВђВ†В‡В”В• Н№Н¶В›В‡ВѓВ”В•З¤ б‚ё В‡ВЏВ‘В–В‡ВѓВ”В‡В‡В…ВЉВђВ‘ВЋВ‘В‰В› В”В‘В—В†ВЋВ›В•В‡В”В�В‹ВђВ‰ б‚ё В‡ВѓВЋВ”В‡В’ВѓВ”ВѓВ–В‹В‘Вђ ВѓВЏВ†В‡ВђЗЎВ—В”ВЋВ‹ВђВ‰В–В‘ВђВѓВђВ† ВЋВ‘В—В…В‡В•В–В‡В”В‘В—ВђВ–В‹В‡В• б‚ё В‹В‰ВЉВ–В‘В—В•В‡ВЌВ‡В‡В’В‹ВђВ‰ НґНіНґВѓВ†В†В‘ВђВ�В‡ВђВ—В‡ б‚є В—В‹В–В‡Нґ В‡В•В–ВЏВ‘ВђВ–ЗЎНІНєНіНІНє НєН·НёЗ¦НєНµНµЗ¦Н»Н¶Н¶Н» б‚ё В‹В•В…ВЉВѓВ”В‰В‡ИЂВ€В–В‡В”В…ВѓВ”В‡ ЗІВЉВѓВ�В‡В”В‡В…В‡В‹В�В‡В†В‡ВљВ–В”ВѓВ‘В”В†В‹ВђВѓВ”В›В…ВѓВ”В‡В€В”В‘ВЏВ‡ВЋВЋВ›ВѓВ– З¤З¤З¤ З¤ВЉВ‡В‹В•ВѓВђВ‹ВђВ–В‡ВЋВЋВ‹В‰В‡ВђВ–ЗЎВ†В‡В†В‹В…ВѓВ–В‡В†ЗЎВЉВѓВ”В† В™В‘В”ВЌВ‹ВђВ‰В’В‡В”В•В‘ВђМ¶З¤ В‘В•В•З¤З¤ЗЎЗ¤З¤ В™В™В™З¤ВЉВ‘ВЏВ‡В™ВѓВ–В…ВЉВ…ВѓВ”В‡В‰В‹В�В‡В”В•З¤В…В‘ВЏИЂВ•В‘В—В–ВЉЗ¦ВЊВ‡В”В•В‡В› Accelerated Networkingв„ў Events Tuesday, April 10th %\,QYLWDWLRQ2QO\ 6WUDWHJLF%XVLQHVV,QWURGXFWLRQ :LVGRP&LUFOH(YHQW DPSP 0DUOWRQ1- &DOORU PDULO\QNOHLQEHUJ#HZRPHQQHWZRUNFRP Wednesday, April 4th +RZWR7DON6R2WKHUV:LOO/LVWHQ ZLWKEHVWVHOOLQJDXWKRU%ULDQ+LOOLDUG DPSP 7KH0DQVLRQ2Q0DLQ6WUHHW9RRUKHHV Wednesday, May 2nd /HJDO+HDOWKIRU:RPHQLQ%XVLQHVV ZLWK/LQGD+LQNOH(VTXLUH DPSP 7KH0DQVLRQ2Q0DLQ6WUHHW9RRUKHHV www.ewomennetwork.com/chapter/snj &RQWDFW0DULO\QDW :VTL[PTLZ[OLILZ[ SLNHSKLMLUZLPZH NVVKVMMLUZL sDivorce sFamily Law sReal Estate & Zoning sWills & Estates sPersonal Injury sBusiness & Commercial sLitigation sMunicipal Court/ Traffic sBankruptcy sAccidents Serving Washington TwpВ‹ WilliamstownВ‹ WinslowВ‹ Mullica Hill and all of Southern New Jersey SLOTNICK & SCHWARTZ A T T O R N E Y S A T L A W 856-629-3037 www.ssnjlaw.com 1350 North Black Horse Pike s Williamstown NJ Protecting our clientsвЂ™ interests since 1972 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 37 d c i en t e t m Special Computer Repair Discount вЂњLikeвЂќ us on Facebook and get a COUPON for your next mouth watering meal to share with your Girlfriendz! DonвЂ™t forget to вЂњCheck InвЂќ at Foursquare too! Only for Girlfriendz Magazine Subscribers. Flat $40.00 only if we fix the problem otherwise it is free! 856.787.0777 *RJUDEVRPH.X]LQDWRGD\ E VRPH .X]LQD WR 38 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com Eye or st reвЂ™s he The Moorestown Mall Food Court 5WВ‡0RRUHVWRZQ1- BY TOBI SCHWARTZ-CASSELL wouldnвЂ™t go to a plastic surgeon for digestive problems, you shouldnвЂ™t go to a general dentist for cosmetic dentistry,вЂќ says Lorin Berland, DDS of Dallas Dental Arts in the Arts District of Dallas, Texas. вЂњThe cost, especially in terms of your health, REMEMBER WHEN as well as time and money, is too great a Billy Crystal said the risk. You only have one mouth and so many quote (above) on Saturteeth, so donвЂ™t take chances with your health.вЂќ day Night Live? Despite Says Smallwood, вЂњAbout 30% of the cases how funny it was and how I do are вЂ�re-dosвЂ™ of other doctorsвЂ™ work based primany times we imitated him imimarily on cosmetic concerns, fracture, bite issues or tating Fernando Lamas, that quote any combination. The treating doctors will just get in makes about as much sense for someone over their heads unintentionally, and thatвЂ™s unfortunate.вЂќ with a heart condition as it does for someone conAll three agree that credentials matter, though each pursued a templating cosmetic dentistry. Because contrary to the belief of different route. Dr. Markus completed the Dawson Continuum and some, itвЂ™s not just how your teeth look, itвЂ™s how they function, too. received his Fellowship in the Academy of Comprehensive Esthetics вЂњForm has to follow function,вЂќ says Stephen J. Markus, DMD, in 2004; Dr. Berland is an Accredited Fellow in the American AcadFACE, of The Centre for Dentistry at Haddon in Haddon Heights. emy of Cosmetic Dentistry and Dr. Smallwood trained extensively вЂњThatвЂ™s why cosmetics need to be done by someone trained in cos- with Drs. Montgomery and Kois and others. metics, and not any general dentist. ThereвЂ™s a lot more to designing According to Dr. Markus, from start to п¬Ѓnish the range of time the someoneвЂ™s smile than just taking an impression and sending it to the process takes depends on the extent of work to be done. вЂњIf we can lab. ThereвЂ™s a lot to look at in terms of facial harmony, shape of teeth correct the smile with Six Month Smiles (transparent braces worn and length of teeth. So we вЂњblueprintвЂќ every smile we make. for about six months), we can do it without reducing teeth. This вЂњFirst we п¬Ѓnd out what the patientвЂ™s goals are and whether they enables us to transform peopleвЂ™s smiles without having to put on a are achievable. We do this by setting up plaster models on a bite single veneer, making it a whole lot simpler for the patient and for us. simulator to view function. Then, we bring the patient in on the вЂњRegarding cosmetic makeovers, there are some that can be done aesthetic decision-making so they can tell me what looks pleasing in as little as two weeks. Others that involve more planning might to them. From there we go into talking about edge design. ItвЂ™s like take a month or longer. But the good news is that once cosmetic picking the color of grout once you have the tile picked out. There treatment begins, the technique I use and teach other dentists will are so many checkpoints that need to be established before you even result in the patient wearing temporaries that attempt to match the start your smile makeover.вЂќ shade and shape of the permanent porcelain Trent W. Smallwood DDA, FACE, PC, of veneers and crowns. Contemporary Dental Concepts in Tempe, вЂњOne of my favorite success stories is [ LEARN MORE ABOUT IT ] Arizona agrees that before the discussion the mother of the bride who came to me two LORIN BERLAND, DDS of cosmetics begins, the bite must be anamonths before the wedding. She was starting www.dallasdentalarts.com lyzed, вЂњFunction is the basis for all success. to realize how she would look in the wedding TRENT W. SMALLWOOD DDA, FACE, PC You have to expertly and comprehensively photos! This was a case that would take at www.cosmeticdentistryAZ.com address the bite (function) п¬Ѓrst. I didnвЂ™t in the least a year to complete, but I promised her STEPHEN J. MARKUS, DMD, FACE beginning and it cost me a lot of stomach linthat our blueprinting process would allow www.SmileSouthJersey.com ing. Now I look very closely at function and me to fabricate temporaries that would fool To learn more about the blueprinting cosmetics as they go hand-in-hand to ensure everyone, including the close-up lens. See process, visit: www.theedgesmiles.com long term success.вЂќ the results on our website. But what youвЂ™ll To see the mother of the bride But make no mistake about it. When consee there is not even the п¬Ѓnal result. ItвЂ™s the mentioned here, visit: sidering cosmetic dentistry, you need to conexquisitely rendered temporaries she wore for www.cent4dent.com/html/makeover/ sider the caliber of the dentist. вЂњJust like you almost a year. MomвЂ™s smile was radiant!вЂќ extremephotos/32.htm M Visit our newest location! вЂ” Billy Crystal, Comedian ry ist cos вЂњItвЂ™s not how you feel, itвЂ™s how you look, and YOU LOOK MAH-VELOUS!вЂќ e to it T h a n M t e e g GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 39 & events appearances event: THURS, MARCH 15, 2012, 5PM-7PM: SPEED NETWORKING WITH GIRLFRIENDZ AND CHERRY HILL 5 STAR SENIOR LIVING: Need to network for your job or business? Join us after work for a fun evening of speed networking, light dinner, wine, community tours and prizes. Bring plenty of business cards. Location: 5 Star Senior Living, 490 Cooper Landing Rd, Cherry Hill. 856-4829300, www.cherryhillseniorliving.com. MUST RSVP to Molly@girlfriendzmag.com. FREE EVENT event: WED, MARCH 21, 2012, 7PM-9PM: GIRLFRIENDZ WINE TASTING PRESENTED BY CATHERINE ALLEN, CFPв„ў OF M FINANCIAL PLANNING SERVICES, MARLTON & TRAINOвЂ™S WINE & SPIRITS: Join our host, Catherine Allen, as she holds a lively wine tasting with delicious post-dinner refresh- Come by yourself or come with your girlfriendz. Unless otherwise noted, all events are FREE. You must RSVP (where speciп¬Ѓed) to Molly@girlfriendzmag.com. ments, prizes and a comforting, interactive discussion in which sheвЂ™ll ask, вЂњWhat Keeps You Up at Night?вЂќ Wines by TrainoвЂ™s of Marlton and Voorhees. Location: Southern United Title Insurance Company, 30 S. Maple Ave, Marlton, 856-810-0880. Catherine Allen: 856-810-7701, Catherine.allen@lpl.com. www. trainoswine.com. MUST RSVP to Molly@girlfriendzmag.com. FREE EVENT appearance: THURS, MARCH 22, 2012, 4PM-8PM: JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE 2ND ANNUAL EVESHAM TWP BABY BOOMER EXPO: See the latest in clothing, accessories, travel and more. Location: Indian Spring Country Club, 115 S. Elmwood Rd, Marlton. vandenbergm@evesham-nj. gov or 856-985-9792, ext 2. FREE EVENT appearance: FRIDAY, APRIL 20, 2012, 8PM: JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE RITZ THEATRE FOR A SHOW AND CAST PARTY! ItвЂ™s opening night of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, and weвЂ™re all invited to the private cast party! Meet the cast and director and enjoy light fare, wine, beer and soft drinks. Show: $31, Cast Party: Add $10. Tickets: 856-858-5230. Must use this code: BGFF (Best GirlFriendz Forever). Location: Ritz Theatre, Oaklyn. www.ritztheatreco.org. event: THURS, APRIL 26, 2012: GIRLFRIENDZ-COLLINGSWOOD TREASURE HUNT. MEET US BETWEEN 5PM & 6PM AT THE COLLINGSWOOD COMMUNITY CENTER: A fun night of shopping, networking and nibbling. Pick up your treasure hunt card, then off youвЂ™ll go to visit and munch at: Aenigma Jewelry, Jubili Beads & Yarns, MarleneвЂ™s Dress Shop, Michael Bruce Florist, McGarryвЂ™s Jewelers and Two Cherubs Antiques. Afterward, weвЂ™ll meet back at the Community Center to munch even more and give away prizes! Location: 30 W. Collings Ave (next to the п¬Ѓrehouse). Must RSVP to Molly@girlfriendzmag.com. FREE EVENT. At Senior Helpers, your loved one is like family. 2O12 BOOK A BOOTH AND BOOK BUSINESS. tBNQN $IFSSZ)JMM$SPXOF1MB[B t'SFF&MFDUSJDJUZGPS&YIJCJUPSTt'SFF*OUFSOFU"DDFTT t#VTJOFTT#SFBLGBTU'FBUVSJOH(PWFSONFOU1SPHSBNT t-FBSOIPXUPEP#VTJOFTTXJUIUIF(PWFSONFOU DIAMOND SPONSOR RN owned & operated SENIORS S I LV E R S P O N S O R S MEDIA SPONSORS RECOVERING PATIENTS Call us today at 609-261-2995 to eliminate your familyвЂ™s in-home care concerns. appearance: FRI, MAY 11, 2012, 10AM-4PM: JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE CAMDEN COUNTY REGIONAL CHAMBER BUSINESS EXPO: For exhibit info or to register for free attendance, contact Dawn Toal at 856-667-1600 or events@camdencountychamber.com and tell her Girlfriendz sent you! Location: Cherry Hill Crowne Plaza, Rt 70 E, Cherry Hill. FREE ADMISSION. event: WED, MAY 16, 2012: GIRLSвЂ™ EVENING OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE WITH WELLS FARGO ADVISORS FINANCIAL CONSULTANT SHARON GLECKNER, 5PM FOR 9 HOLES, 6PM FOR CLINIC: Join Sharon Gleckner for an evening of Girlfriendz Golf! For the avid golfer, we invite you to join us on the course for 9 holes. For beginners, Sharon and Little Mill Country ClubвЂ™s golf pro George Frake will hold a golf clinic covering everything from etiquette on the course to ways to improve your game. Refreshments, networking, prizes and fun! Location: Little Mill Country Club, 104 Bortons Road, Marlton. Directions and questions: 856-767-0559 ext. 24. http:// home.wellsfargoadvisors.com/gleckner. MUST RSVP to Molly@girlfriendzmag.com and tell her whether youвЂ™re opting for the 9 holes or the clinic. FREE EVENT. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC and member SIPC, Marlton, NJ appearance: SUNDAY, MAY 20, 2012, 1PM-4PM: JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT A TASTE OF EVESHAM: An open air event on Main St, Marlton. Delicious food, great beverages and live music. Tickets: www.taste ofevesham.org. event: TUES, MAY 22, 2012: GIRLSвЂ™ NIGHT OUT AT KOKO FITCLUB SOUTH JERSEY: Details to come! Location: 2095A Rt 70 E, Cherry Hill. 856-489-KOKO (5656), www.kokoп¬Ѓtclub.com/ locations/cherryhill MUST RSVP to Molly@GirlfriendzMag.com. FREE EVENT event: THURS, JUNE 7, 2012: GIRLSвЂ™ NIGHT OUT AT CARE-ONE EVESHAM: Details to come! Location: 870 Rt 70 E, Marlton. 856396-0005, www.care-one.com/locations/careone-atevesham MUST RSVP to Molly@GirlfriendzMag.com. FREE EVENT appearance: JULY 19, 2012, 7:30AM-NOON: JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE PHILADELPHIA BUSINESS JOURNALвЂ™S 2ND ANNUAL WOMENвЂ™S CONFERENCE High-powered networking with women from across the bridge. Breakfast/panel discussions/breakout sessions/expo: $55; Expo only: $5. Location: Crystal Tea Room, Wanamaker Building, Phila. Register at: www.bizjournals.com/philadelphia/event/62511 appearance: SUNDAY, JULY 22, 2012, 5:35PM: JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE RIVESHARKS & SAVE $2: WeвЂ™ll be at CampbellвЂ™s Field in Camden to wish Finley the Shark a happy birthday! The Camden Riversharks take on the York Revolution, followed by post-game п¬Ѓreworks! Location: 401 N. Delaware Ave, Camden. Tickets: 866-Sharks-9 or www.riversharks.com. Use this code for $2 off each ticket: вЂ�GIRLFRIENDZвЂ™ appearance: SAT, SEPTEMBER 29, 2012: JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE CAMDEN COUNTY WOMENвЂ™S HEALTH CONFERENCE. A day just for us with keynote speaker, workshops, free Continental Breakfast and box lunch! Location: Eastern Regional High School in Voorhees. www.camdencounty.com FREE EVENT g ?????? Where do you turn when you feel ready to explode, cry, drink or overeat? Are you struggling to break bad habits or fulfill new passions? I feel your pain. IвЂ™m a health and wellness coach, who survived a stroke and has maintained a 50 pound weight loss and exercise regime for 13 years. Three decades as a licensed clinical practicing psychologist gives me special insight. But this isnвЂ™t therapy. In six steps I will help motivate you to change undesirable habits, adopt new ones, follow your dreams and live with exuberance. Dr. Vicki Handfield Contact me and letвЂ™s get started! info@GETHEALTHYGETHAPPY.com GETHEALTHYGETHAPPY.com More Info: 856.667.1600 or visit us online: w w w. c a m d e n c o u n t y c h a m be r . c o m 40 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com Licensed, Bonded and Insured. Senior Helpers locations are independently owned and operated. 609-386-5941 NJ Lic Sl01711 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 41 boomer humor contest Enter the Girlfriendz-Center for Dentistry вЂњSmile MakeoverвЂќ Contest! GRAND PRIZE: A Smile Makeover Analysis and Blueprinting from The Centre for Dentistry: Have you always wanted a perfect smile but donвЂ™t know who you can trust? HereвЂ™s your chance to win an extreme dental makeover consultation from Stephen J. Markus, DMD, FACE, of The Centre for Dentistry at Haddon. Prize includes: evaluation, digital radiographs, photographs, portrait, blueprinted diagnostic sculpture of what your teeth will look like and two consultations (before and after the blueprint). Not interested in a makeover? You can choose to have one tooth restored and/or tooth whitening services complete with take-home trays, instead. www.SmileSouthJersey.com, 856-546-0665. Value: $2,000 Period Peace BY ROZ WARREN Happily Saying Good-bye to an Old вЂњFriendвЂќ IвЂ™ll never forget the first time I saw Doctor Zhivago, because that was the day I got my first period. Other women hear вЂњLaraвЂ™s ThemeвЂќ and think вЂњundying romance.вЂќ I think, вЂњHelp! IвЂ™m bleeding to death!вЂќ I never did figure out the plot; I was too busy running to the bathroom every other minute to make sure I was still okay. Mom had given me an informative talk about what to expect. But was I emotionally prepared for the jolt of suddenly, out of the blue, discovering it was actually happening? No way. I was 12. Now IвЂ™m 56. My period served its purposeвЂ”22 years ago, I successfully gave birth. This year my вЂњbabyвЂќ graduated college. And I couldnвЂ™t be happier about the fact that my monthly вЂњfriendвЂќ has finally taken a hike. Some women dread menopause because it symbolizes the end of their sexy, exciting youth. Not me. I was thrilled to toss my tampons and say вЂњSayonara!вЂќ to excruciating menstrual cramps. IвЂ™m not saying my period never brought me moments of joy. IвЂ™ll never forget the thrill of finally getting that three-week-late period when I was in law school. IвЂ™d just begun to get my life on track. I wasnвЂ™t ready to be a mother. When I got that period, my heart soared. And one of the happiest moments of my life came when, years later, after months of trying, the little stick turned pink. I was going to be a mom! Neither of these unforgettable Menstrual Moments quite compares with the time my friend Deb returned home to find her living room strewn with unused tampons. Her sons happily announced theyвЂ™d discovered her cool Roz Warren is a Philadelphia-based supply of вЂњpretend hand grenadesвЂњ and had spent writer whose work has appeared in The Funny Times and on the websites the morning crouched behind the sofa, ripping WomenвЂ™s Voices for Change and them open, yanking them from their cardboard Metropolis/Voxpop. RozвЂ™s website is www.rosalindwarren.com. holders, then hurling them over the sofa, shouting, вЂњKABOOM!вЂќ As Mom told me solemnly when I was 12, after handing me a gigantic box of sanitary napkins and showing me the garter belt that would hold them in place (this was the pretampon era), вЂњItвЂ™s all part of the miracle of being a woman.вЂќ вЂњYouвЂ™ve got to be kidding,вЂќ was my response. Even then I recognized that monthly periods werenвЂ™t so much a miracle as a ludicrously inefficient Rube Goldberg contraption for keeping the human race going. Sure, thereвЂ™s something appealing about the way those monthly cycles gave structure to my life, and once they vanished, my days did have a certain sameness. At times I even miss those familiar patterns. But do I actually miss bleeding every month? Are you kidding me? When menopause arrived, I didnвЂ™t feel as if my youth had ended. I felt like I was reclaiming the person I was when I was 12. I sat down to watch that movie and my whole life changed. And now itвЂ™s changed again. I couldnвЂ™t be happier. g This essay was originally published on WomenвЂ™s Voices for Change (www.womensvoices forchange.org/period-peace-happily-saying-good-bye-to-an-old-friend.htm) and is reprinted here with the permission of the author. 42 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com FIRST PRIZE: A Jewelry-Making y-Making Party Parrty at Jubili B Beads eads dss & Yarns: d Yarnss: Our winner will invite up to 11 of of h her er friends friiend nd ds ffor orr a fun GirlsвЂ™ irlsвЂ™ Night Out beaded jewelry-making je ew wel e ry-making ng party, ng complete plete with wine and chee cheese! eese! Each g gi gir girlfriend ir i lfriend will be given her own kit for the one-and-a-half one-a andn a-half hour class, and the Jubili staff will walk you stepby-step through the planning, stringing and п¬Ѓnishing of a beautiful, chic beaded necklace. When the partyвЂ™s over, everyone will leave wearing her lovely new piece of jewelry! Jubili Beads & Yarns, 713 Haddon Avenue, Collingswood, 856-858-7844, www.jubilibeadsandyarns. com, Value: $350 In-home Assistance from Homewatch Caregivers of South Jersey: So many of us are caregivers to a loved SECOND PRIZE: one and can use some help ourselves. Homewatch Caregivers is there for you and your loved one, 24/7, to offer quality, compassionate care. This prize includes 15 hours of in-home assistance for services such as housekeeping, laundry, meal preparation and more. Homewatch Caregivers serves Camden, Burlington and Gloucester Counties. 856-833-9449, www.homewatchcaregivers. com/south-jersey/home-care.aspx. Value: $325 THIRD PRIZE: Fashions by Penina TravelWear for you and Your BFF: How much fun would it be to drop by PeninaвЂ™s with your BFF so that each of you could choose an outп¬Ѓt of your very own? YouвЂ™ll each get $150 to spend on PeninaвЂ™s Travel CollectionвЂ”a classic selection of easy-to-pack, easy-to-pair tops, bottoms jackets. versatile, and n ja acketts. tss. s . In ve v ersatile, neutral neutra tra ra al black black or brown, brow the only trouble youвЂ™ll hav have ave iss m making aki king up ki py you your o r mind! Fashions by Pen Penina, 11 E Main St, Marlton, 856596-1610, www.fashionsbypenina.com. 856 5 - 5969 6 1610, www w w.fashionsbypenina.com. Value: $300 ww Es Essential MasPRIZE: FOURTH H PR P IZE: A Massage Party at EstherвЂ™s sage & B Bodywork odywork for Women. Our winner winn and three of her girlfriends will each be treated to a relaxing, rejuvenating massage at Esther GreenbergвЂ™s Mt. Laurel location. Enjoy delicious teas and refreshments while de-stressing with your BFFs. Esther offers personalized sessions in Swedish, deep pressure and deep tissue massage, to assist in relieving stress, anxiety and pain; improve п¬‚exibility and range of motion, reduce stiffness and strengthen the immune system, plus so much more. www.therapeuticandmedicalmassagenj.com Value: $200 FIFTH PRIZE: Steel Pony Designers Joanne Litz and Dennis Wolk offer comfortable fashions that blur the boundaries between haute couture and wearable art. Each piece is handmade, produced in the USA. Collect, mix, match and layer to п¬Ѓnd your personal Steel Pony style. Our winner will receive a gift certiп¬Ѓcate for non-sale items. www.steelpony.com 215-467-6065. Value: $125 TO WIN: Winners will be chosen at random. TO ENTER: Visit www.girlfriendzmag.com/contests. Only those entries with all requested information will be considered valid. Deadline for entries: 4/18/2012 at 11:59 PM. Good luck! DISCLAIMER: All prize winners and their guests release The Word Source, LLC, Girlfriendz Magazine, all prize donors and all employees and representatives of these companies from any and all responsibility for any loss or damage to their property, or any injuries or loss of life. Winners and guests are responsible for their own transportation to and from prize venues. The Word Source, LLC and Girlfriendz Magazine have no affiliation with any of their sponsors and cannot be responsible for any actions of their sponsors which result in harm or injury to a prize winner or guest. The Word Source, LLC and Girlfriendz Magazine cannot be responsible to replace a prize should the sponsor cease to do business or refuse to honor a prize. The Word Source, LLC and Girlfriendz Magazine are not responsible for entries that get lost in cyberspace. No substitution of prizes. Prizes may change as a result of availability. A Gift Certiп¬Ѓcate from Steel Pony: Congratulations to the Winners of Our GirlfriendzStudio K вЂњPhoto ShootвЂќ Contest! GRAND PRIZE: A Photo Shoot plus 2 Legacy Photo Albums from Studio K for you and your BFF. www.studioknj.com. Value: $650 Winner: Marly Constantino of Marlton FIRST PRIZE: A Show and Cast Party at Ritz Theatre for you and 7 BFFs. www.ritztheatreco.org. Value: $350 Winner: Sue Schwartz of Marlton SECOND PRIZE: A Massage in Motion Massage Party. www.massageinmotionbus.com. Value: $325 Winner: Concetta Keebler of Turnersville THIRD PRIZE: Jewelry and Mary Kay by Marisol. www.marykay.com/marisol.miranda, www.miranda5749.etsy.com. Value: $300 Winner: Kristine Vece of Turnersville FOURTH PRIZE: Tanks a Lotв„ў by Slimpressions for you and 2 of your BFFs. www.slimpressions.com/product/tanks-lot. Value: $162 Winner: Linda Coleman of Marlton FIFTH PRIZE: Vintage Magazine Handbag from Two Cherubs Antiques. www.twocherubsantiques.wordpress.com. Value: $120 Winner: Diane Lang of Voorhees GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com 43 AMONG friendz DonвЂ™t Date a Man WhoвЂ¦ BY PATRICIA QUIGLEY SECONDS INTO AN UNINVITED CONVERSATION WITH A GUY AT THE DELI COUNTER OF MY FAVORITE SUPERMARKET, MY RADAR WAS PINGING LIKE CRAZY. Now, I am one of those people who will talk to pretty much anyone, and I certainly do not object to speaking with a handsome middle-aged man. But my gut told me something was off. This guy really hadnвЂ™t said anything terribly wrong, and by far he was not the most obnoxious guy who had ever hit on me. But he literally had gotten into my space as he started bragging about his business, and I felt uncomfortable. I maneuvered myself so my shopping cart stood between the two of us, pretended to switch some food around, grabbed my order and scooted off as soon as I could. IвЂ™m not always great at it, but IвЂ™m a п¬Ѓrm believer in listening to my gut when it comes to men (and life in general), because sometimes that gut starts waving little red warning п¬‚ags. I also believe in listening to people I trust, because sometimes they see red п¬‚ags that my вЂњlove gogglesвЂќ might blur. With that in mind, I asked some women and men for some cautionary tips for women as they maneuver the dating world. 1. DonвЂ™t date a man who doesnвЂ™t have friends, I once read. That made a lot of sense to me. If he canвЂ™t maintain a friendship, he wonвЂ™t be able to handle a romance. If he doesnвЂ™t have friends, heвЂ™s more likely to resent my time with mine, and that, I fear, would trigger control issues. I donвЂ™t do control well at all. 2. DonвЂ™t date a guy who has always lived with his mother or you might be dealing with someone who is looking to exchange one mommy for another, advised a middle-aged, happily married friend who actually did just that. IвЂ™d add the caveat: if he is living with a parent or parents to take care of them, that is a noble thing and ups his вЂњvalue.вЂќ If heвЂ™s living with them to have his food cooked and his laundry done, run. 3. From Steve*, a married dad from my church who has been out of the dating game for 30 years: вЂњI think there are very few guys who simply view women as conquests and try to get as many notches on the headboard as possible, although they do exist. That being said, I 44 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE вЂ“ GirlfriendzMag.com also think women should watch out for the type of man who never seems satisп¬Ѓed, who is always looking over the next hill, whether it is about his job, his car, his house or his girl. I think this is indicative of his immaturity and his own lack of self-esteem. These men (and I know one or two) are not selп¬Ѓsh and do not set out to hurt anyone, but they never let a relationship develop beyond the вЂ�wow, youвЂ™re hotвЂ™ stage. For some reason, many women are drawn to this type of man, maybe because he seems exciting. A man who constantly seeks excitement confuses stability and growth as boredom.вЂќ 4. From my call-it-like-it-is cousin Frannie*: Stay clear of a man who is clingy or too dependent on you, plagued by his past, lacks people/ communication skills, lies, doesnвЂ™t let you into his world, has a seemingly futile future, seems to have anger issues, is more interested in your body than you or has religious beliefs that are totally different than yours. 5. From a Gen X friend, a divorced mom with an exciting career and great new man in her life: stay clear if he has no passion for life, doesnвЂ™t respect your time with your kids, has temper/anger issues, never offers to pay for anything, doesnвЂ™t have friends (!), has вЂњexвЂќ drama, is extremely jealous, enjoys п¬Ѓghting, enjoys drama, is too competitive with you and is obsessive about the way you or he looks. 6. And this from one of the п¬Ѓnest men I know, which just points to the fact that you should stick to guys with a sense of humor: вЂњGeez -- isnвЂ™t being a man red п¬‚ag enough?вЂќ (*All names have been changed to protect the privacy of those friends and family who shared their thoughts вЂ“ and warnings вЂ“ for this column. None of them is a trained counselor, so please remember this is simply an opinion piece. Want to share your warning signs with fellow Girlfriendz? Go to www.face book.com/girlfriendz and post there.) g Patricia Quigley is an award-winning public relations practitioner and journalist, proud South Jersey girl and middle-of-the-pack Boomer. She holds a BA in communications and an MA in writing from Rowan University and has written for local, regional, national and international media. 5RFNLQВ· WKH%LJ$ZDUGV Among вЂњAmericaвЂ™s Best 100 HospitalsвЂќ for Cardiac Care HealthGrades Multiple 5-star ratings in Cardiac, Stroke and Pulmonary Services HealthGrades Regional Top Ranked Hospital for Geriatrics U.S. News & World Report One of the NationвЂ™s Top Performers on Key Quality Measures The Joint Commission Our Lady of Lourdes Medical Center HealthGrades, the nationвЂ™s leading health quality ranking organization, declared Our Lady of Lourdes Medical Center to be among AmericaвЂ™s 100 Best Hospitals for Cardiac Care. HealthGrades also recognized us for excellence in coronary intervention and stroke, giving Lourdes a 5-star rating for treatment of Pneumonia, Respiratory Failure and Overall Cardiac Services. Equally as impressive is our acknowledgment by The Joint CommissionвЂ”a national accreditor of healthcare organizationsвЂ”as a top performer of key quality measures. Add these awards to our U.S. News and World Report honor as a Best Regional Hospital for Geriatrics and thereвЂ™s no doubt about itвЂ” we rock! A Ministry of the Franciscan Sisters of Allegany, New York. Member of Catholic Health East. For more information, or to make an appointment with a Lourdes Physician, call 1-888-LOURDES (568-7337) or visit www.lourdesnet.org.