How to get more...
Win-Win Solutions
with Difficult People
Conflict/Confrontation
I. ADMIT WHY WE DON’T WANT TO CONFRONT:
______________
Write down what you are thinking as you enter the room with that person:
II. REALIZE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DON’T
_______________________ ____________________ ISSUES
1. The ______________________ of the organization and your team begins to erode.
2. Your team is only as strong as _________________ link.
3. ________________________________________ drops overall.
4. __________________ for the leader drops. Who wants to follow a non-courageous leader?
“Why isn’t she dealing with that issue?”
5. People begin working ________________ someone and because of that,
(often, some of the best), leave. 6. Progress toward the ________________ slows.
7. The problem_______________ .
III. DETERMINE WHEN TO HAVE A ___________ CONFRONTATION.
Four Warning Signals that it’s Time for a Crucial Confrontation:
1. When you are acting out your ____________________-unhealthy signals.
2. Your ______________________ is nagging you to step up to the plate
3. You’re _________________________ the cost of not taking action while ____________________
the danger of speaking up.
4. You figure that __________________ you do will help: they are impossible to talk to.
Is it a bridge to _______________ on?
“Realize that if you have time to whine and complain about something,
then you have the time to do something about it.” –Anthony D’Angelo
IV. HONE YOUR CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLE.
•
Currently, my top 2 styles are: (Supplemental packet)
___________________________ & __________________________.
10 Ways to Better Get to
Win-Win Conflict Resolution
1. __________________ your saw and deal with your issues.
2. Seek __________________
___________________ from your team.
3. Address it _____________ than later.
By nipping it early, it may reveal a blind spot.
It may give you an indication of where this is heading.
4. Don’t _______________________________ about their reactions in advance.
PREPARING FOR THE CONFLICT CONVERSATION
Here’s what you CAN rehearse and seek to figure out.
What do _________ really need? (critical to make needs known)
What do __________ really need? (seek to find out)
What does the ongoing ________________________ need?
5. Show you _________________ the person.
ASSERTIVENESS
is ____________________ AND __________________
is ______________ YOU ______________.
AGGRESSIVENESS
6. Be _____________ on what happened and what needs to change
STAR
7. MANAGER TOOLS
Encourage use of the ______________ formula
L
E
A
D
Seek to understand, _____________ be understood.
Conflict is ______________________; Combat is _________________________.
8. List what you have done already to ____________ the problem
REMEMBER QTIP
___________________ help you maintain your composure
OPERATE BY FIGHTING FAIR GROUND RULES.
•
Put past stuff in a box and don’t let it out.
•
Let each other finish their sentences.
•
Keep the focus on the issue at hand, not on personal attacks or judgments.
•
Stay in the conversation to completion; don’t bail out.
•
Others?
ANSWER THE HEART, NOT THE WORDS!
Those confronted with issues often use _____________ ______________ _____________
strategies to put you on the defensive, and deflect from the laser-focus on their misbehavior.
9. Offer _______________ for solutions or your ________________ in their journey to getting
their need met. Leaders should always approach their people with a _____________ Attitude.
10. End with an agreed-upon _________________________, and document it for follow-up.
if it is not written down, it didn’t happen.
Set up a time to discuss progress.
DEBRIEF
_______________on how this conflict resolution process went for you.
Communications Styles
and Conflict
To best deal with difficult people,
we have to understand how we are wired first.
MY PRIMARY/SECONDARY PERSONALITY STYLES ARE:
WHAT EACH STYLE NEEDS
Lion
Otter
Golden
Beaver
HOW EACH STYLE COMMUNICATES
Lion
Otter
Golden
Beaver
Addressing Difficult People in the Organization
Write a strategy to get to win-win with these characters.
Frank Pacetta’s Stop Whining and Start Winning:
Gossipy Gertrude
Quick-to-take-offense
Quentin
Resistant Rachel
Turf-protecting Ted
Joyless Jenny
Wear-my-stress Warren
Passionless Patricia
Green-eyed monster, Martyr, Sponge, Steamroller, Volcano, Wet Blanket,Workhorse,
Back stabber, Chameleon, Cold Shoulder, Competitor, Control Freak, Critic, Gossip