HillaryClinton,MelissaHarris-PerryandtheOppositeofImposterSyndrome Tofitintomale-dominatedspaces,womenaretoldtofixalotofthings:stopusing“sorry”and“just”inemails, avoidvocalfryandupspeak,and“watchyourtone”atalltimes. Butmorethananythingelse,womenaretoldthatit’salackofconfidencethat’sreallyholdingusback.Ifonlywe couldgetoverimpostersyndrome,andinternalizeoursuccessesinsteadoffeelinglikeseriallyluckyfrauds,we’d beunstoppable. Toobaditdoesn’tworklikethat.Thereisaveryrealexternalbiasagainstwomen’scompetence,andnobodygets arounditbybeingmoreconfident.Infact,asweseethroughtheexperiencesofHillaryClintonandMelissaHarrisPerry,beingmoreconfidentcanresultinharshpushbackwhenyou’repursuingleadershippositionswithinmaledominatedenvironments.Becausehowdareyou. Whilewe’resobusyfocusingonwhatwomenshouldandshouldnotdo,there’sabigproblemgoingundiagnosed: entitlementsyndrome.Theoppositeofimpostersyndrome,entitlementsyndromeistheproblemofoverconfident, mediocrewhitemen.AfterIbreakdowncompetencebias,I’llgetintowhatentitlementsyndromelookslike,and whatsomeconcretesolutionsmightbe. Whatcompetencebiaslookslike Womenareassumedtobelesscompetent,lesstrustworthy,andareheldtoahigherstandardoverallthanmen. There’samuchgreaterchancethattheirworkwillbeignored,discounted,trivialized,devalued,orotherwisenot takenseriously.Themoresuccessawomanexperiences,thestrongertheseexternalforcesbecome.They’realso magnifiedbyintersectingbiases,likeracismandhomophobia. It’seasytoseehowimpostersyndromeisarationalresponsetocompetencebias.Whywouldyouthinkyou’re competent,ifnobodyelsedoes? Competencebiasstartsearly.Girlslearnthatthey’llbeheldtohigherstandardsphysically,intellectually,and behaviorallythanboys.Whileboysareraisedtoexaggeratetheirskills,takerisks,falldownandpickthemselves backup,girlsaretaughttothinkthingsthroughandsecond-guess,avoidriskandfailure,andnotraisetheirhand unlessthey’resuretheyhavetherightanswer.Lastly,girlsabsorbfromthemediathattheirrealvaluelayintheir appearance,atthesametimethatboysabsorbthemessagethatgirlsarenottobetrusted. It’snotsimpletoundosuchdeeplyheld,unconsciousbiases.Tellingwomentocounteracttheentiretyof competencebiasbybeingmoreconfidentisliketellingoneofCinderella’sstepsisterstosqueezeherfootharder intotheglassslipper.It’snevergoingtowork.Thestructureitselfhastoshift,whichisgoingtotakeworkbyboth womenandmen(I’llgetintothismorelater). However,self-confidenceinthefaceofoppressionisextremelydisruptivetopowerstructures.AudreLordecalled self-love“anactofpoliticalwarfare“,andMayaAngelouwroteaboutitspowertoupsetandoffendoppressors. Whenawomanisconfidentinsteadofself-doubting,itmeansshe’snolongerplayingbytherules.Ittriggers intensepushback,aswe’llseeinthestoriesofHillaryClintonandMelissaHarris-Perry. HillaryClinton’sexperience HillaryClinton’slistofaccomplishmentsputsherinthetopechelonsofhighachievingwomen.Notonlywasshe thefirstfemalepartneratamajorlawfirm,butshewentontoserveasFirstLadyofArkansas,FirstLadyofthe UnitedStates,U.S.SenatorfromNewYork,andSecretaryofState.Sheranforpresidentin2008,andnow,eight yearslater,she’sdoingitagain. AccordingtoNateSilver’sanalysis,HillaryClintonhasearnedconsistentlyhighapprovalratingsineachofher governmentpositions.In2013,asSecretaryofState,her69%approvalratingmadeherthemostpopular politicianinthecountry.ButSilveralsofoundthatthemomentClintonhitsthecampaigntrailforanykindof politicaloffice,herapprovalratingcrashes.Why?WriterSadyDoylesumsituplikethis: Campaigningisnotsucceeding.It’saskingforsuccess,andforpower.Tocampaignistopubliclyclaimthatyouare betterthantheothers(usuallywhitemen)whowantthesamejob,andthatawholelotofpeopleshouldworkto placeyouinamorepowerfulposition.Inotherwords,campaigningisatransgressiveactforwomen...Womenwho putthemselvesforwardinthesameassertive,confidentstyleasmenareroutinelyfoundpushy,“bitchy,”or unlikable,andprofessionallypenalizedforthat,too. Thisisaparadox.ThepublichastremendousrespectforHillaryClintonaslongasshehasherheaddownandis workinghard.Butthemomentsheaskscredit,acknowledgment,andapromotion,thatadmirationturnstovitriol. Byconfidentlyaskingforwhatshewants,andstatingwhyshedeservesit,Clintonbringshercompetenceinto question. Soundfamiliar?Alotofwomenhaveexperiencedsexismintheirworkplaceperformancereviewsthatclosely parallelsClinton’sexperience.Afterall,whatisapoliticalcampaignbutahuge,publicperformancereview? Reviewsareaminefieldforhigh-achievingwomen.Severalstudieshavecomeoutrecentlyconfirmingthatwomen displayingconfident,assertivebehavioratworkareoftenlabeled“abrasive”,“bossy”,“strident”,“emotional”and “irrational“intheirperformancereviews.Funfact:theword“abrasive”literallyneverappearsinmen’s performancereviews.Whatdoesitmeantobecalled“abrasive”?Withoutadoubt,itmeans“stayinyourlane.”All oftheseformsofpushbackworktogethertoundercutawoman’sperceivedcompetenceintheworkplace. HillaryClintonhasbeennot-so-subtlytoldtostayinherlaneinallkindsofdifferentwaysthatundercuther competence.Shewastoldshehasa“loud,annoying,naggingwife”voice,calledoutforappearingwithoutmakeup, andcriticizedforherpantsuits.Shewasslammedfornotshowingauthenticemotion,butthenwhenhervoice brokeduringaspeech,itwaswidelyreportedas“weeping“andherabilitytoholdittogetherenoughtoleadwas calledintoquestion.MediaMattershascompiledafulllistofsexistmediareportsfrom2007-2008,organizedby category(therearefourteen).Awordofwarning:it’soverwhelming.Evenifyoudon’tlikeHillaryClintonatall, pleaselookatthislist.(Andifyouneedsomethingtolaughaboutafterwardstobringyoubackup—Idid—here’s theClinton-PalinSNLskit.) SexistattacksonHillaryClinton’scompetenceinthe2015-2016primaryseasonhavebeenmoresubtle,butthey’re stillthere.Thistimearound,we’reseeingahugefocuson“trust”,whichisimportanttorecognizeasaveryloaded wordfromagenderperspective.Letmeclarifythatitisavalidcriticismtosay“Idon’ttrustClintonbecauseshe hasarecordof[insertspecificpoliticalaction].”It’snotavalidcriticismtoimplythatshejust“seems” untrustworthy,orlacksauthenticityand“realness“asaperson.Thiskindofcriticismessentiallycallsheran imposter. Clinton’sopponentintheDemocraticrace,BernieSanders,iswidelypraisedforbeingtrustworthyandauthentic. WhenargumentsforBernieSandersbeingtrustworthyarebasedonhiscongressionalrecord,writingsand speeches,that’snotsexist.That’sjustaregularopinion,andanimportantpartofthepoliticalprocess.Butwhen weseearecurringemphasisonBernie’ssenseofauthenticitybasedthefactthathedoesn’tcareabouthowhe looks,prefersnottobrushhishair,andmakesfacesduringdebates,thatissexist.Peoplesayit’sjust“Berniebeing Bernie”andthathe’s“buckingthetraditionalimageofapoliticalcandidate”butit’simportanttotakeacloserlook. WefindastrikinglysimilarexampleinRepublicancandidateDonaldTrump—famousforhiscomb-overand spraytan—whoisknownfor“showingrealemotion”andbeing“notafraidtomakehimselflookreallyugly.” BothSandersandTrumparepraisedforanimagethatnofemalecandidateiscurrentlyallowedtocultivate.Show meafemalecandidatewhocanthrowonanill-fittingsuit,notbrushherhair,andscowlandwagherfingerather opponentduringadebate.Themediawouldhaveafieldday,notalove-fest. TheattacksonClinton’scompetencegobeyondappearance.Thiswidely-circulatedmemeisoneexample: Whilethesubjectmatterisoftensilly,rangingfromHarryPottertoStarWars,Bernie’sresponsesarecraftedto demonstrateathoroughunderstandingofeachissue.Hejust“getsit.”Hillary’sresponsesareinsteaddesignedto demonstrateenthusiasticcluelessnessfromaposer(imposter)spoutingatotallysuperficialanswershethinksthe crowdwilllike.It’sprettyclosetoframingherasabimbo. BernieSandersandDonaldTrumphavetheprivilegeofexistinginawidelanewhenitcomestoappearanceand behavior.Notonlyaretheyassumedtobecompetent,andautomaticallypraisedinsteadofpunishedfortheactof askingforpower—butthey’reencouragedtobetheirpassionatelyscowling,unfashionableselves,andpeople lovethemforit. HillaryClinton’slaneisnarrow.Notonlyissheawomanaskingforpower(anautomatictransgression),butsheis requiredtoprovehercompetenceoverandover.Shewinsnoauthenticityortrustworthinesspointsfordeviating fromperfectioninappearanceorbehavior.Sure,shecan“beherself”—butthecostisthatheractionswillbe effectivelyrunthroughade-credibilitytranslator.Tearsbecomehysteria.Laughingiscalledcackling.Frowningisa signofmoodswings.Ifshetriestoavoidshowinganyemotiontoavoidthiskindofjudgmentaltogether,she’s calledarobot.It’sano-winsituation. Let’smoveontoMHP’sstory. MelissaHarris-Perry’sexperience MelissaHarris-Perry,hostofthemuch-lovedMelissaHarris-PerryShowonMSNBC,hasrecentlyendedastruggle foreditorialcontrolwiththenetworkbydecidingtoleavehershow.Inapublicly-publishedemailtoherstaff,she said: MSNBCwouldlikemetoappearforfourinconsequentialhourstoreadnewsthattheydeemrelevantwithout returningtoourteamanyoftheeditorialcontrolandauthoritythatmakesMHPShowdistinctive.Iwillnotbe usedasatoolfortheirpurposes.Iamnotatoken,mammy,orlittlebrownbobblehead.WhileMSNBCmaybelieve thatIamworthless,Iknowbetter.IknowwhoIam.IknowwhyMHPShowisuniqueandvaluable.Iwillnotsell shortmyselforthisshow.Iamnothungryforemptyairtime.Icareonlyaboutsubstantive,meaningful,and autonomouswork.Whenwecandothat,Iwillreturn—notamomentearlier. MelissaHarris-PerryhasaPhDinpoliticalscienceandtaughtAmericanvotingandelectionsatsomeofthe country’stopuniversitiesincludingPrinceton,theUniversityofChicago,andWakeForest.Anexpertinherfield, sheconsistentlybroughtdiversevoicestohershowtotalkaboutelections,localandnationalgovernment,and socialmovements.TheMHPShowwasvastlymorediversethananyotherSundaycablenewsshow.Herguests were45percentwhite,comparedtoa75-88percentrangefromalltheothermajorpoliticalweekendshows.Hers wasalsotheonlyshowthatcameanywhereneara50-50genderbalance. Afteryearsoffightingforeditorialcontrol,MHPreachedherlimitwhenMSNBC’swhitemaleleadershipreportedly toldhershecouldnotdiscussBeyonce’sFormationvideo,eventhoughitispoliticallyrelevantandtheentire countrywastalkingaboutit.Theywantedhertosticktoelectionpoliticsinstead.WhathappenedwasMHPspoke aboutFormationanyway,asfootageofJebBushandChrisChristieralliesinNewHampshireappearedinaboxon thescreen.MSNBCwasnotpleased. IfyouwatchMHP’scommentaryonFormation,thesubtextisloudandclear.Shesays: Beyonceismakinganartisticstatementthatisboldly,unapologetically,black.She’sgivingusblackbodiesanda blackpoliticsthatwillnotbesilencedorashamed,butinsteadcommandsspacefortheonethingthevideotellsus theyaremostdefinitelyheretodo-asBeyoncesaysinthesong’srefrain-‘Islay’. MelissaHarris-PerryistellingMSNBCthatshetooisbold,unapologetic,andcametoslay.Shewillacceptnothing lessthanfullrespectforherleadershipandeditorialvision—andthisvisionisfullylinkedtoheridentityasa blackwoman.ShetheninformedMSNBCthatshe’sleaving. Thenetworkrespondedtoherpublicly-sharedemailbysaying“She’sabrilliant,intelligentbutchallengingand unpredictablepersonality”and“It’shighlyunlikelyshewillcontinue”atMSNBC.Heremail“isdestructivetoour relationship.” MSNBCtryingtoslamMHPbyusing“challenging”and“unpredictable”ascodedlanguagebothfor“aconfident womanwhowillnotstayinherlane”and“ablackpersonwhodoesn’tcarewhatwhitepeoplethink.”Notonlyis MHPsupposedtoexperienceself-doubtasawoman,butMSNBCisshockedthatsheexpressessuchconfidenceasa minorityinanoverwhelminglywhite-dominatedindustry,operatingwithinasystemofwhitesupremacy.They viewherconfidenceasanactofextremeaudacity.Onceagain,we’reseeingthekindofwordsthatcouldeasily appearinanysuccessfulwoman’sperformancereview. MSNBC’sstatementalsomisleadinglymakesitsoundlikethere’sstillarelationshipthatMHPisrecklessly damaging.Newsflash:youcan’tfiresomeonewhoalreadyquit.Theemailcan’tpossiblybe“destructivetothe relationship”becauseMHPalreadydecidedthatthereisnomorerelationship. ThenetworkistreatingMHPlikesheshouldhaveimpostersyndrome,butshedoesn’t.Sheiscompletelyawareof hercontributionandselfworth,andshemadethedecisiontoleaveonherownterms.Unsurprisingly,media reportingechoedMSNBC’sincredulity,sayingthatthenetwork“severedtieswithher“or“firedher“oreventhat she“wentonstrike.”It’ssohardforpeopletograspthatMHPsimplytookthepowerinthissituation,andleft. ThebestpartofthisstoryisthatnotonlydidMHPchoosefreedomoversilencebyleavingMSNBC,butshealsodid itbyrefusingtosignanon-disparagementclauseonherwayout.Thenetworkassumedshewouldexchangeher silenceforcashintheirexitnegotiations,butshedidn’t.Andthenshesimplycarriedonspeakingtruth: So#MSNBCy'allkeepmakingcablegreatagain.I'llbestayingchallenging&unpredictable.#NerdlandForever pic.twitter.com/BCDOBLfITm MSNBCtriedtopubliclypunishMHPforherconfidence,butshe’srefusingtobesilently“disappeared”likeformer hosts.Thenetworkandthemediacanstilltrytospinherstoryhowevertheywant,butshewon’tbeenduringit silently,andthatwillmakethingsalotharderforthem.Notonlydotheyhavetofieldquestionsabouther departure,butalsothewiderissueoftheirparticipationinthewhitewashingofcablenews. MHPandHRCarefightingdifferentbattles,butbothoftheirstoriesrevealthepushbackthathappenswhen persistentconfidencefliesinthefaceofcompetencebias. Sinceitjustwouldn’tbefairtotalkabouthalfthepopulationbeingtaughttoself-doubt,withouttalkingaboutthe otherhalfbeingtaughttoself-aggrandize,let’smoveontoentitlementsyndrome. Entitlementsyndrome EntitlementsyndromeisformallyknownastheDunning-Krugereffectorillusorysuperiority.Itdisproportionately affectswhitemen(whitenessandmalenessbeingpowerfulintersectingprivileges),andusuallyremainsinvisible andundiagnosed.Here’saquickdefinition: Entitlementsyndromeiswhenaperson(usuallyawhiteman)overestimateshisownskills,relativetoothers.He believeshedeservesnotonlyrespectforhisaccomplishments(nomatterhowmediocre)butalsosuccess.He doesn’thavetogoaboveandbeyondtoqualifyforexcellence,andifhedoesn’tgetthesuccesshedeserves,it’snot hisfault.Hecanusevocalfry,upspeak,and“sorry”and“just“becauseheexpectstobejudgedsolelyonthecontent ofhisspeech.Healsobelieveshedeservesthebenefitofthedoubtatalltimes,apartnerwhoismuchmore attractivethanhim,andcopiousamountsofpublicspace. Bothentitlementsyndromeandimpostersyndromehavetheirrootintheunconsciouscompetencebiasthat operatesateverylevel.Youcanseeitclearlywhenyoulookathowmenandwomenviewsuccessandfailure. Whenwomensucceed,theytendtoattributetheirsuccesstoexternalfactors(impostersyndrome).Butwhenmen succeed,theytendtoattributetheirsuccessestoinnerqualitieslikededicationandtalent(entitlementsyndrome). Whenmenandwomenfail,theattributionsgetflipped.Womentendtoblametheirfailuresoninternal shortcomingsoralackofeffort(impostersyndrome),whilementendtoblamecircumstancesoutsidetheircontrol (entitlementsyndrome).Soinageneralsense,wehavemeninternalizingmostlysuccessesandwomen internalizingmostlyfailures,aninternalthoughtprocesswhichisthenstronglyreinforcedbyoutsideforces. Entitlementsyndromeislikebeingcoatedinconfidence(andcompetence!)teflon.Youexpecttosucceed,andthis isreinforcedbyexternalcircumstances:thosearoundyoualsoexpectyoutosucceed.Evenifyou’relessqualified thanothercandidates,youbelieveinyourself.Yourcompetenceisrarelyquestionedbyothers,sowhywouldyou questionit?Whenthecompetenceofothercandidates—women,peopleofcolor—isrigorouslyvetted,youalso don’tquestionit.Entitlementsyndromeiswhywesooftenseewhitemalemediocritypromotedovermore qualifiedcandidateswhoarenotwhitemen. Entitlementsyndromenevermakestheself-helpcircuit.Unlikeimpostersyndrome,nobody’smakinganymoney offpathologizingadestructivethoughtpatternthatdisproportionatelyaffectsprivilegedwhitemen—becausefor them,it’snotaproblem.It’sgreat.Theentitlementsyndromethoughtpatternisallowedtoexistinvisiblyasthe statusquotowhichothergroupsmustconforminordertobesuccessful.Ifagroupishavingtrouble,themessage isthattheyneedtofixthemselves.Thesystemisfine,theyjustneedtoworkhardertofitintoit. Exceptthesystemisnotfine.It’sbroken.Nowwhat? Entitlementsyndromeisacharacteristicofagroupthatexpectstofiteasilyintoanenvironmentthatwasdesigned especiallyforthem.Impostersyndrome,ontheotherhand,isthecognitivedissonancethathappenswhenagroup doeseverything“right”tofitinandsucceed,andyetcan’tescapeasituationinwhichtheircompetenceisregularly underfire.TheexamplesofMelissaHarris-PerryandHillaryClintonshowthatbiasedattacksoncompetenceonly increaseinintensitythemorecompetenceandconfidenceawomandemonstrates. Theproblemissystemicandenvironmental,sothesolutionalsomustalsobesystemicandenvironmental.As scholarKarenAshcraftstates,“socialchangeisaboutfixingenvironments,notpeople.”Hereareafewexamplesof thingswecando: 1 Ifyourcompanyisholdingassertivenesstrainingsforwomen,askwhattrainingswillbeheldformen.If onlythewomeninaworkplacearedeemedinneedofspecialtraining,itsendsamessagethatthemen’s skillsetisthestandard.Therealityisthateveryonecanbenefitfromdexterityincommunication. 2 Throughunconsciousbiastraining,cultivate“privilegetraitors”whodotheworkofdebunkingtheirown privilegeandpointingoutunconsciousbiaswhentheyseeit. 3 Keepaneyeoutforbacklashthathappenswhenawomanassertsconfidenceintheworkplace.Ifyouare involvedinaperformancereviewprocessandawordlike“abrasive”comesup,pushback.Explainwhy thatwordisproblematic,andsticktospecific,performance-relatedexamples. 4 Ifyou’reinameetingandyouwitnessawomanbeinginterruptedbyaman,whothenessentiallyrepeats whatthewomanjustsaid,expecting(andsomehowgetting)creditforit,cutinassoonastheytakea breath.Redirectattentionbacktothewomanbysayingsomethinglike“Oh,that’slikeLilawasjustsaying about____.Lila,tellusmoreabouthow____wouldwork.” Toreallygetattherootofcompetencebias,we’regoingtohavetoarriveatanenvironmentwherenoonegroupis seenastheyardstickforcompetence.PerAshcraft,weneedtocreateenvironmentswheredifferencecanemerge andflourish.Thismeansdroppinganyassumptionsofwhatdifferencewilllooklike.Insteadofsaying,“weneed morewomeninpoliticsbecausethey’regreatatbuildingconsensus”or“weneedmorewomenofcolorhosting cablenewsshowsbecausethey’rebetteratbringinginmorediverseguests”weshouldbesaying“weneedmore diverserepresentationinpoliticsandcablenewsbecauseitreflectsthepluralitywelivein.”Wecan’trelyontired stereotypestoassumewhatimpactthiswillhave.Wecanonlyencouragehumility,curiosity,andopennessaround howthatdifferencewillemergeandwhatitwilllooklike.
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