Bob’s Christmas Carol
I don’t want you to believe anything written here but I would ask that you keep an open mind.
What I am about to tell you, I would solemnly swear, is absolutely and totally the truth and
indeed those that have been to my Christmas Brown Bag science sessions over the last four
years can affirm what I am about to say and that it is based on scientific fact in search of the
nature of reality and consciousness and ended with something personal that I really did
experience but was not at all what I expected.
I like to think I am open minded but very sceptical of any so-called supernatural or mystic beliefs
or faith but I could not consider myself to be an atheist because that would require belief which
is not necessarily supported by scientific facts.
So to start and this is really important… if I was to say the sky is blue when the sun shines then
there would be no issue, disagreement or any need to have scientific testing or any sense of
belief – it just is blue.
Now because I live in Motueka and work in Nelson I have a 45-50 minute drive each way and I
got to listening to the radio to pass the time of the journey. Fed up of music I started listening to
some of the documentaries on National Radio when driving home during the evening (I was EIL
manager at the time so long days were the norm).
One of these was broadcast about a British doctor (Sam Parnia) doing research into near death
experiences. It seemed clear to me that such things cannot be scientifically based and so I
embarked on a campaign to explain these events. But after 8 years of research and enquiry
(which included the enigmatic depths of quantum mechanics and space time relativity) it was for
me evidential that there is a MUCH bigger ‘thing’ that was the source of the ‘out there’ involved
in what could be best described as some very clever virtual reality.
I came to a point however that I needed to have my own personal experience of ‘out
there’. Indeed I had read lots of stories about others who had that experience and had for
themselves, come to understand the nature of truth behind reality. Most involved turning down
the constant chatter which is part of our brain activity so that our deep subconscious mind could
come through. The only ways to do this was by mastering meditation or taking drugs (or
indeed having a near death experience!).
But my problem was that I couldn’t do the meditation etc needed to explore the wider space. I
tried lots of ways to get into that moment of ‘now’ where your consciousness floats in some kind
of void. I never did drugs as I like to always be in control although was interested in how some
cultures use psychedelics (eg Ayahuasca and Iboga) to tap into the ‘other stuff’.
I also tried to develop lucid dreaming. Did have one random moment but otherwise….no
success.
Probably because I am a well-grounded Yorkshireman and we don’t do weird stuff like that!
But as well as not being able to experience ‘out there’ I had read reports that you have to be
careful in that it’s not all peace and love ‘out there’ and indeed there are strong negative
elements which can really mess you up. Some people taking mind altering drugs and even
some NDE’s (a relative few) report nightmarish experiences.
So basically, mid-year 2015, I decided that was as far as I could go and although I did revisit
some science and personal accounts there was nothing new that I could use to develop further.
I had to be satisfied with ‘yes there might be but I don’t know for sure’. This was a major shift
from my originally stance which would have been ‘don’t be bloody soft, there’s nowt else’.
Then one night in around July last year I had this ‘dream’. In fact, not a dream in the usual
sense, but a clear symbolic ‘message’ – a vision in my sleep.
I was in a white void as a floating point of consciousness (ie not Bob Askew – just an
awareness). Suddenly my attention was caught by a small box floating some way off. It was a
bit like a shoe box, no lid but I was attracted to it as it had some pastel coloured stripes going
around it. (I never found out the meaning or significance of the pastel coloured stripes other
then they made me want to look closer).
So, I ‘floated’ nearer to satisfy my curiosity and was just about close enough to touch it when
suddenly ‘whammo!!’. ....I almost ‘exploded’ with this in-pouring of exquisite bliss and
love. Indeed it was so startling it woke me up and I found myself still in this bliss state. I cannot
begin to describe how awesome it was. Never experienced anything of such intensity ever
before.
Afterwards was wondering if I had of ‘let go’ if I would have died or undergone some kind of
transformative experience.
This message was so powerful the next day I recounted it to work mates.
But that was not all..............
A few days later the same dream but this time not just one box but more came along and they
banded together to form what I would describe as an infinite ‘ocean’ of them ….and this time
came a message...
“Don’t worry about what happened. You can always get some more. It’s a bit like having a
bucket and going down to the sea and filling it with water. One bucket of water - That’s is all
you need. And if you spill it, it’s not a problem because you can fill your bucket as often as you
like and the supply will never run out”. “All you need is to know how to get to the shore!”
But that was not all.......
And here comes the surprise and shock!
I woke up from a dreamless sleep one day in September. It was 3.38am, as when I opened my
eyes I was staring at the clock on the bedside.
Now here’s the thing...
Remember the sky is blue when the sun shines!
Well when I woke up I had this utterly hard-wired into my brain.
JESUS CHRIST IS THE LIVING SON OF GOD
What!!!!!
Now I am not religious but was now open minded to spiritual concepts but this ‘thought’ would
have been the last thing I expected.
Indeed, on wakening further I fumbled thinking – surely the correct grammar is the “Jesus Christ
is the Son of the Living God”
But immediately I got back ..... “No – he is alive as he always has been!”
Now as you may imagine this was absolutely the last thing I expected...indeed I am anti religion
and spurn dogma and belief.
But today the sky is still blue when the sun shines and Jesus Christ is still the Living Son of
God. (Although the message became shortened to “Jesus Christ is the Love of God”)
I am unable to intellectualise the statement, to downgrade it to some kind of thought or illusion –
just like I cannot intellectualise or dismiss the argument that the sky is not blue.
But rather than make me feel illuminated and transformed I was perplexed and my question to
people who I knew to be ‘Christians’ was
“What happens next????”
Well about a week or so afterwards here comes the next symbolic dream
This time there is a man (no knowledge of who it actually was) and he is stood by this enormous
and judging by the relationship in sizes, a 2-3 metre-high egg (I am not making this up – it’s too
weird a concept to do that! – yes - a giant egg!!)
Now my point source consciousness is moved into the egg and again I am feeling the glow of
the bliss and love but no explosive rush this time just very gentle and a sublime feeling of being
safe and nurtured.
And finally, my last dream/vision but this time quite disturbing. I was looking (from some
distance) at a man being crucified. Now you need to understand that in these dreams I am not
me and not having any background knowledge so was not thinking any religious thoughts or
feelings. What I was aware of was that the man was very dark-skinned (very brown) and very
emaciated (like a holocaust victim) and the other thing which kind of shocked me was that he
appeared from the distance not to have any clothes on! Next I am floating towards the man
and I go close to the face. The man doesn’t look at me or acknowledge me in any way but as I
get closer I feel that same sense of peace and blissful love. There is no pain, no anger, no
negativity just pure love.
Next moment I am in the crowd and there’s this old guy (got a goatee beard) and wearing a
white hoodie who is turning around whilst pointing at the man on the cross and yelling ‘crucify
him’. Then I find myself shouting ‘crucify him’. Then I realise that the words have no
meaning. It is just a mob saying words without realising what they are doing. Then I awoke and
I felt very disturbed to have been part of that crowd.
Well that was my last dream/vision except for some ongoing changes.
I don’t go to church and have no yearning to do that but I just feel the growth of love within me
and it is amazingly wonderful.
Yes, I am still a sceptic and yes, I would have to admit that I may wake up one day with a
completely changed way of thinking and feeling but over a year later it’s still the same.
And frankly I don’t want it to change.
The only real outward change is that I feel compelled to tell this story whenever the opportunity
arises. And not just to Christians but I have told a Hindu dairy owner and the manager at a
petrol station amongst many others. I also did my final brown-bag power-point presentation to
Council staff last year. When I got to the point about my revelation you could just about hear a
pin drop!
And the more I share the story the stronger I feel compelled to tell it!!!
But I certainly don’t ‘feel’ any different as a person – I am still me – warts and all –a very unlikely
person to imagine or consider as having had some amazing spiritual encounter. But just have
this ‘glow’ inside which is always there gently ebbing and flowing.
And now I don’t feel any need to go looking any more.
I have arrived ‘home’.
And ......
THE SKY I STILL BLUE WHEN THE SUN IS SHINING!!!
And of Course
JESUS CHRIST IS THE LIVING SON (aka THE LOVE) OF GOD!
So, that's it - And I still have that revelation as ingrained into my brain circuits as the moment it
just happened!
And I needed to share that with you!!
Seek to become love (ie compassion and kindness) and it will find you.
Is not easy as you have to lose yourself but when you do you will find everything.
Hoping you have a great Christmas and New Year.
Afterthoughts
What of Sam Parnia?
His science based studies did actually confirm that some people who are clinically dead can
have awareness. Here is a report from Southampton University that precis the results.
If you feel the need to ask me any questions or just want to sound off if you are convinced this is
all bunkum then feel free to email me at bob-askew@xtra.co.nz.
But here’s a final thought….I think most of us and certainly those in the scientific community
accept for a fact that around 14 billion years ago this whole reality that we call the universe
came from a thing scientists call a ‘singularity’ – that is an infinitesimally small point from which
the universe evolved.
Think – yes really think hard about how unbelievable that is. And yet it is considered as the
truth!
Bob