The Ambassadors

a non-profit family resource center
Volume 9, Issue 2
September/October 2013
cape cod children’s place
FAMILY NEWSLETTER
for families and caregivers of children living
on the Lower and Outer Cape
Special
Thanks!
A big THANK TOU to all the
Volunteers, Parents, Board
Members, Staff, Artists,
Local Businesses and
Supporters who made the
2013 Golf Tournament and
Art Outside the Box Auction
a tremendous success!
Check out the details on
page 8!
Thank You to Truro
Vineyards, Blackfish, Sarah
Swaine and the Oh Boys,
and all who attended our
Preview event!
Inside this issue:
Council News
2
Childcare Subsidies
2
Advocacy Corner
2
Parenting Education
3
Dads’ Talk
3
News You Can Use
4
Playgroups
6
Lunch Box Auction
8
The families and staff of Cape Cod
Children’s Place bid a fond farewell to
Kate Macaulay as she retires after 14
years of leading the organization. Kate
brought to the Cape Cod Children’s Place
exactly what it needed to survive and
grow, after the very challenging start-up
years of 1995-1999. With hard work and
commitment, Kate set about building
Cape Cod Children’s Place into the
dedicated community organization it is
today. In her 14 years as Executive
Director, she has led the agency with
strength, compassion, respect and
understanding of the needs of her staff
and the families they serve. Kate led
CCCP through times of devastating grant
reductions, and successfully spearheaded
and completed the school’s NAEYC
certification process as well as the
opening of its satellite Sea Babies
program in Wellfleet. Her leadership has
united the staff as a team, and helped
Cape Cod Children’s Place to build
stronger roots in this region and beyond,
as it expanded its programs to support
more than 500 families each year with a
multitude of services.
In a recent letter to Children’s Place
families Kate wrote:
“I have enjoyed all the aspects of
working with families, parents,
children and staff; some were challenging, however all my experiences
were tremendously engaging and
validating as were all the people who
entered my life. Thank You; you
brought wonderful opportunities for
me to listen and learn. I am very
excited to share that Cindy Horgan
will be your next Executive Director,
and I am sure everyone will welcome
her with enthusiasm. Cindy is such an
integral part of what Cape Cod
Children’s Place is and represents
within our organization and also in
the community”.
And it is with great enthusiasm that the
Cape Cod Children’s Place welcomes
Cindy Horgan as its next Executive
Director. Cindy has been the Family
Support Coordinator at Cape Cod
Children’s Place for the past 9 years and
plans to continue her role while assuming
the position of Executive Director.
Cindy’s enthusiasm is evident as well in
her recent statement:
“Since I have arrived here at Cape Cod
Children’s Place in July 2004, I have
continued to pinch myself just to make
sure it is true that I could be so lucky
to have this job...Kate Macaulay has
supported me, encouraged me and
guided me as I have grown here at
Cape Cod Children’s Place. It is with a
full hear that we prepare to say goodbye to a true treasure for all our
families as well as our staff”.
As Cindy takes on the job of Executive
Director, she will have the assistance of
Liz Carns, in the new role of Early
Education Programs Coordinator. Please
stop by to see Cindy, and meet Liz, as we
embark on an exciting new school year.
Advocacy Corner
Cape Cod Children’s Place applies for
many grants to bring programs and
services to children and families, and
the educators and caregivers who
work with them. Here are some
examples of these grant funded
programs:
Free Music Program
Babies and toddlers accompanied by
a parent or caregiver are invited to
join the Sea-Babies children at the
Wellfleet Council on Aging for a free
monthly music program with Denya
Levine. This program will take place
on Tuesdays, September 10 and
October 8, at 10:15 am. Come and
have some multi-generational fun
with instruments and movement.
This family activity is provided by
Cape Cod Children’s Place and
funded by a grant from the Mollie
Hirshberg Fund through the Cape
Cod Foundation. .
Lending Library on LGBT topics
Cape Cod Children’s Place is assembling a lending library, to include
materials for children and adults, on
topics pertinent to LGBT (lesbian,
gay, bisexual, transgendered)
families. These materials, to include
books for children and adults, other
publications and resources, will be
available to parents, caregivers,
educators, and others with children
in LGBT households. The contents of
this lending library will be posted at
www.capecodchildrensplace.com
(http://
www.capecodchildrensplace.com)
when the collection has been
assembled. This project is made
possible by a grant from the GALE
(Gay and Lesbian Equity) Fund and
the Cape Cod Foundation.
Raising A Reader
The next free 8-week series of
Raising A Reader, provided by Cape
Cod Children’s Place & funded by a
federal Race To The Top grant
awarded to the state Dept. of Early
Education & Care, will be offered at
the Make Way for Kids program in
Harwich this fall. Raising a Reader is
an early literacy program for
children & their families. It promotes
reading at home and encourages
to keep these programs going.
в€™
Families: Do you attend our
free playgroups? Apply for our
childcare subsidy programs?
Attend our free parent workshops with free childcare? Use
our free family consultations?
Then COME to our monthly
Council meetings and
participate, so these programs
can continue.
These programs do not just happen by themselves. It takes work,
and the involvement of the early
childhood community, to plan and
implement these services.
We need your help! Please come on
September 18 and October 16.
Contact Elizabeth at 508-240-3310
or ealdred@c4.net for more
information.
Private donations are always welcome to
support these free programs. Donors to
Cape Cod Children’s Place are invited to
specify which programs they would like
their donations to support.
Childcare Subsidies
Come to the Council!
The Lower Cape Early Childhood
Council will hold its first meeting
of the new school year on Wednesday, September 18, from 6-7:30 pm
at Cape Cod Children’s Place.
Come and take part in the planning for what activities, trainings
and projects the Council will take
part in over the coming months.
в€™
Teachers and providers: Do
you refer families to parent
education workshops, playgroups, free family support
services and other programs
provided by Cape Cod
Children’s Place? Do you use
our die cuts, attend our free
trainings, give out our Family
Resource Guides? Then COME
to our monthly Council meetings and give back some time
families to enjoy books together. The
grant that funds this program on the
Lower and Outer Cape continues
through December 2014, and
between now and then Cape Cod
Children’s Place will offer additional
8-week series in other communities.
Playgroups & Tyke Hikes
A schedule of free playgroups & tyke
hikes is listed in this newsletter.
These programs are made possible by
a Coordinated Family and
Community Engagement grant and
other grants awarded to Cape Cod
Children’s Place, including a Human
Services grant from the Town of
Orleans and a grant from the
Women’s Club of Chatham.
Contact Elizabeth at 508-240-3310
or ealdred@c4.net for more
information about these free
programs.
Several sources of childcare funding
assistance are available through Cape
Cod Children’s Place. Call Karen or
Elizabeth at 508-240-3310 for information about any of the following:
в€™
Brewster Childcare Subsidy Program: available to Brewster residents with children aged birth to 5
years enrolled in any childcare program.
в€™
Lower Cape Emergency Childcare
Fund: available to families with
children aged birth to 13 living in
the 8 towns of the Lower and Outer
Cape.
в€™
Wellfleet Childcare Subsidy Program: available to Wellfleet residents with children aged birth to 5
years enrolled in any childcare program.
Raising Healthy Families
Tuesdays, September
17, 24, and October 1,
8, 15 & 22, 2013
5:30-7:30 p.m.
At Brewster Baptist
Church, 1848 Main Street,
Brewster. A free six-week
parenting series facilitated
by Cindy Horgan,
Executive Director and
Family Support Coordinator at Cape Cod Children’s
Place, that will provide
skills to support parents
with some of the challenges
that make this job so
difficult.
Topics to be discussed are:
discipline without yelling,
how to handle tantrums,
understanding temperament and why our children
do what they do, the value
of routines, setting limits
and boundaries, and much
more.
Free. Dinner and childcare
included. Pre-registration is
required. Call Cape Cod
Children’s Place at 508-240
-3310 with your name and
telephone number, number
of adults and names and
ages of children who will
attend. Please indicate if
you are in need of
transportation.
This program is funded by
a grant from the Bilezekian
Family Foundation with
additional funding
provided by a Mass. Family
Centers grant through the
Children’s Trust Fund,
administered by Cape Cod
Children’s Place.
Lower Cape Dads’ Talk
Wednesday, September 4
Wednesday, October 2
6:00—7:30 PM
Harwich Community Center
100 Oak St., Harwich
With Paul Melville, family support
specialist. This is a great place to
connect with other local fathers and
chat about being a dad (or whatever
else is on your mind). All men are
welcome to this non-therapeutic
gathering, regardless of their child
(ren)’s age, their parenting situation,
and where they live. Free pizza & child
care. Please RSVP. Information or
registration: Paul Melville at 508-7714336 ext. 2 or paul@capecoalition.com
Sponsored by the Cape Cod Neighborhood Support
Coalition, Cape Cod Children’s Place and Harwich
Early Childhood Council.
2013/2014 Parent Ed. & Support Opportunities...
November 12, 2013: “Raising
Healthy Boys” 5:30-7:30 pmEastham (location TBA)
December 3, 2013: “Toilet Training
101” 5:30-7:30 pm—Meeting House
Preschool, Orleans
Eastham (location TBA)
February 4, 2013: “Is My Child
Ready for Kindergarten”? 5:30-7:30
Stony Brook Elementary, Brewster
March 4, 11, 18, 25, and April 1, 8,
2014: Raising Healthy Families
December 10, 2013: “Cooking for the (six—week series) 5:30-7:30 Truro
Holidays” 5:30-7:30 pm—Eastham (location TBA)
(location TBA)
All workshops are free and include
January 16, 23, 30, and February 6,
pizza dinner & child care.
13, 2014: “Dads Group” (5 week
For updates or information, please
series) 5:30-7:30 pm—Harwich
visit:
Elementary School
www.capecodchildrensplace.com
January 21, 2013: “Parenting
Or call 508-240-3310
Differences” 5:30-7:30 pm—
NEWS YOU CAN USE...
Infant Feeding Group:
Wednesday, September 18
10-11 am
With Gabrielle Hathaway at Outer
Cape WIC, 79 Finlay Rd., Orleans
Happiest Baby on the Block:
Wednesday, October 16
10-11 am
With Gabrielle Hathaway at Outer
Cape WIC, 79 Finlay Rd., Orleans
Resource Center has moved! Charlotte Fyfe, Family Support Specialist,
may now be found in the former Veteran’s Memorial Elementary School,
2 Mayflower Place, Provincetown.
Call 508-237-2688 (cell) or 508-2403310 (Cape Cod Children’s Place) to
schedule an appointment with Charlotte to learn more about the John A.
Henry Trust, fill out an application,
or get answers and referrals to your
Kennedy Donovan Center
parenting and child development
Support Group:
questions. Financial assistance from
Eastham Area Parent/Caregivers the John A. Henry Trust is limited to
Support Group of those with
families with children ages birth to
Developmental Disabilities
18 who are year round residents of
Tuesdays, Sept. 24 & Oct. 22
Provincetown. The funds assist with
10:30 am—12 pm
family emergencies, childcare, transAt Eastham Senior Center, 1405
portation, and health and medical
Nauset Road. Contact Juliane Dillon needs which directly benefit eligible
at 508-385-6019 x 125 or via e-mail
children and teens.
at jdillon@kdc.org
Emergency Preparedness
Brewster Ladies’ Library:
Seminar
Story Hour
Friday, September 13
Wednesdays, 10:30 am
10:30-12:30
Children ages 3 and up can enjoy
Geared towards individuals with
stories, songs, a snack, and a craft
special needs. If you, or someone you each week.
love, would be in need of special
consideration during a natural
Brooks Free Library, Harwich:
emergency due to age, physical/
Story Time
intellectual disability, and/or if you
Tuesdays, 10:30
have a pet that would need care,
Ages birth-5
come to this important training.
Creative Movement
Sponsored by Kennedy Donovan
2nd & 4th Wednesdays, 11:15 am
Center and Eastham Senior Center.
Mother Goose on the Loose
Contact Juliane Dillon at 508-385Fridays, 10:30 am
6019 or jdillon@kdc.org for question
For babies and toddlers
or to pre-register.
Eastham Public Library:
John A. Henry Trust and the
Lego Club (ages 5-10)
Cape Cod Children’s Place
Tuesdays, 3:00-4:00
Family Resource Center
Preschool Story Time
The office of Provincetown’s John A.
Fridays, 10:30 am
Henry Trust and the Cape Cod Children’s Place Provincetown Family
Eldredge Public Library,
Chatham:
Wee Read Storytime/Playgroup
Fridays, 10 am (12 mos-3 yrs)
Drop-in Story Hour
Saturdays, 10:30 am (3 & up)
Itsy Bitsy Yoga
Thursdays
Tyke—9:30 am
Tot—10:30 am
Infant—11:30 am
Snow Library, Orleans:
Lego Club
Tuesdays, 3 pm
Story Hour
Thursdays, 10:30 am
Truro Public Library:
Truro Tots Playgroup
(beginning in October)
Mondays, 9-11 am
Toys, stories, songs, crafts & snacks
provided (birth to 3).
Storytime
Thurs., 10:30 am
Stories, songs, finger plays & crafts.
For babies to preschoolers.
StoryWalkВ®
Saturday, October 5, 2013
10 am—2 pm
Eldredge Public Library and the
Cape Cod Children’s Place will sponsor a StoryWalk of the book Leaves
by David Ezra Stein. The self-guided
story walk begins at the library, 564
Main St. In keeping with the book’s
theme, Lucy Gilmore will present a
story program at 10:30 am at the
Library.
The StoryWalkВ® Project was created by Anne Ferguson of
Montpelier, VT and developed in collaboration with the Vermont Bicycle & Pedestrian Coalition and the Kellogg Hubbard
Library.)
Cape Cod Children’s Place
invites you to join us
in celebrating
Kate Macaulay
Thursday, September 26, 2013
5:30 – 7 pm
at the Candleberry Inn
1882 Main Street, Brewster
Come and join us on in honoring Kate on the occasion of her retirement and pay
tribute to her decades of hard work on behalf of
children and families in our communities!
Contact 508-240-3310 or ealdred@c4.net for more information
Playgroup News...
**BREWSTER…
Toddler Story Hour
These free activities are
offered in the Lower/Outer
Cape towns for children aged
birth through age 3,
accompanied by a parent or
caregiver.
These are drop-in groups, no
pre-registration required.
Thursdays, 10:00—11:45 a.m.
at Brewster Ladies’ Library.
Story time with brief action
oriented songs. Followed by
free play with toys, balls,
ride-on toys and more with
Lucy Gilmore.
*Beginning September 26.
Playgroup will not meet on
10/3 or 10/31.
Call 508-240-3310 for more
**EASTHAM…
information; or email Lucy
Storytime & Playgroup
Gilmore at
mkgilmor@comcast.net
Contact Monica Keefe-Hess
at: mkeefe@
capecodchildrensplace.com
for Baby’s 1st Year
information.
**These groups follow the
Nauset School schedule. If
Nauset schools are closed
due to vacation, holiday or
inclement weather then
playgroup is also closed.**
Wednesdays, 10-11:30 a.m. at
Eastham Public Library with
Lucy Gilmore.
Meeting places & times TBA.
Look for updates on CCCP’s
website and facebook.
*Beginning September 16.
Baby’s First Year
Tuesdays, 11 am—12:30 pm at
Snow Library, Orleans with
Monica Keefe-Hess. We meet to
share stories, ask questions, and
get familiar with resources that
support you such as: nutrition,
parenting, breast feeding, etc.
Weekly discussion topics will
include the various
developmental stages during
baby's first year.
*Beginning September 17.
*Beginning October 2.
**HARWICH…
Gym time Playgroup!
9:15-10:45 a.m. at the Harwich
Community Center with Lucy
Gilmore. Balls, ride-on toys,
climbing & more!
*Beginning October 28
**ORLEANS…
Tyke Hikes & beach play
with Lucy Gilmore
**Parents: Do you have
questions about your child’s
development? See Monica KeefeHess, CCCP’s Parent Education
Coordinator and Playgroup
Liaison, about completing the
Mass. Dept. of Early Education
& Care’s Ages & Stages
Questionnaire (ASQ)
Funding support for most of these programs is provided by grants from the Massachusetts Department of Early
Education and Care, administered by Cape Cod Children’s Place.
Help keep children with food allergies safe this school season...
No one knows exactly why, but
more and more children are
becoming severely allergic to
certain foods, especially peanuts,
tree nuts (like walnuts, pecans,
and almonds), milk eggs, soy,
wheat, fish, and shellfish.
Sometimes, if they eat, touch or
even breathe a tiny amount of
food they’re allergic to, they can
become ill.
That’s why children who have
food allergies need all of us to
help keep them safe. Adults can
help children can help keep their
friends safe by becoming a PAL
(Protect A Life):
1. Never take food allergies
lightly. It’s hard to believe
that foods most of us eat and
enjoy every day can be harmful to others. But it’s true! So
if you learn that a friend has a
food allergy, take it very
seriously. That means not
joking around about it, or
teasing children who have
food allergies. And never try
to trick someone into eating
off they’re allergic to! Most of
all try to understand that
people with food allergies
need your help to prevent
serious allergic reactions.
2. Don’t share your food with
friends who have food
allergies. Kids love to share or
trade food with each other.
But for those with food
allergies, that can be very
dangerous. Never offer kids
with food allergies anything
from your lunch or snack.
Why? Because it may contain
an ingredient that’s harmful
to them. Even if you think the
food is safe, it’s still not worth
the risk.
3. Wash hands after eating.
Washing your hands after you
eat is very important. It’s a
good way to clean off any food
that is on your hands. You’ll
probably get fewer colds, too!
4. Ask what your friends are
allergic to and help them
avoid it. Learning what someone is allergic to is easy (Just
ask them!). Finding out if
foods are safe to eat is another
story. Even foods that have
ingredient labels can be
tricky, since food companies
sometimes use scientific
names instead of everyday
names (for example, did you
know that casein is milk?). So
always remind friends who
have food allergies to carefully
check the ingredients of foods
not brought in from home. If
there’s any question about a
food, tell them not to eat it.
Doing without a snack or
treat is far better than a trip
to the hospital! Her are some
other ways you can help:
в€™
Avoid eating food that
contains ingredients your
friend is allergic to when that
friend is nearby.
в€™
For birthday parties and celebrations, celebrate with nonfood treats and activities, like
games, stickers, songs, and
prizes. They’re just as fun—
maybe even more so—and
everyone will be safe.
5. If a friend who has food
allergies becomes ill, get help
immediately! How do you know
when someone is having an
allergic reaction? Her are some
of the symptoms:
в€™
Vomiting
в€™
Swollen face or lips
в€™
Difficulty breathing
в€™
Coughing, sneezing, and
watery eyes
в€™
Skin that’s bumpy, red,
and itchy
If a friend who has food
allergies is showing these
signs, tell an adult
immediately. Tell them it
might be an allergic
reaction. Your quickness
can help save a life!
Remember, an allergic
reaction can happen
anytime, anywhere, even
several minutes after
eating. So always be on
alert.
*adapted from The Food Allergy
& Anaphylaxis Network
Parents are Key to Success of Cape Cod Children’s Place Annual Lunchbox
Auction and Golf Tournament August 5 at Ocean Edge—almost $67,000 raised for
CCCP programs.
Cape Cod Children’s Place 9th Annual Golf Tournament and Art Outside
the Box Auction took place on August 5, 2013 at Ocean Edge Resort and
Golf Club in Brewster on a beautiful, sunny summer day. The event Title
and Auction Sponsor once again was Seamen’s Bank. Thank you
Seamen’s Bank!
99 golfers participated in the bramble format of the Golf Tournament
beginning at 11:30 am. Sponsors of the Golf Tournament were Cape
Associates, Inc. & Specialty Builders’ Supply Inc. Nauset Marine
sponsored the Hole-In-One contest on the 8th hole by presenting a
fabulous boat on display which, unfortunately, no one won. Eastham Ben & Jerry’s own Judy Tarr provided
delicious ice cream refreshments to the golfers from a cart on the course throughout the play. Thank you to all our
Golf Sponsors!
Golf Tournament Winners were: First Place—Chequessett Neck foursome let by Barbara Boone, a CCCP parent
whose child is now in the Sea Horse program in No. Eastham and was
initially in the Wellfleet Sea Babies Program. Also, Kirsten Davis (parent
of former CCCP students), David Scott and Kylen Howdyshell. Second
Place: Ted Mahoney, Lea Dellamora, Rich McLaughlin and Mark St.
John. Third Place: Ann Mahoney, Mike Harris, Maureen Harris and
Lillian Callavecchio. Longest Drive: Barbara Boone, again.
Over 250 people, including many golfers, attended the cocktail reception
and auction at the Mansion Ballroom beginning at 5:30 pm. There were
36 hand-painted lunch boxes by local artists up for bid, in addition to
many other art works and experiences,
including an African Safari. Music was provided by the Bert Jackson Trio comprised of
Bert, Roe Osborn and Paul Lesniak. Thanks to all for this special contribution.
In addition to delicious food provided by the Ocean Edge catering staff, our own CCCP
parents, William “Chopper” Young and Allison Paine, whose child is also in the
Wellfleet Sea Babies Program, prepare a raw bar and shucked over 500 oysters and
clams donated by them and other Wellfleet Shell Fishermen, Nancy and Jim O’Connell
and Barbara Austin. Alex Hay, another parent of a Sea Babies child, of Wellfleet
Shellfish Company, a division of Mac’s Seafood, facilitated the processing and delivery
of the renowned local product. This special feast was a highlight of the evening and
drew everyone’s attention to how Cape Cod Children’s Place
helps young working families stay in the area and apply their
skills to ensure Cape Cod’s economic sustainability and our future.
On July 22nd, Truro Vineyards hosted an auction preview at the Vineyard supported by
Kristen Roberts and the Roberts family, who also have children enrolled in the North
Eastham Center. In addition to a chance to sample some of Truro Vineyard’s wines,
delicious food was provided by Blackfish Restaurant along with entertainment by Sarah
Swain and the Oh Boys. Pre-bidding on the lunch boxes go the auction off to a good start.
This signature event is the major fundraiser for Cape Cod Children’s Place and allows us
to maintain our tuition assistance program for struggling local families. Thank you to
everyone who contributed their time and talent to the event. We couldn’t have done it
without you.
NON PROFIT STD
U.S. POSTAGE PAID
ORLEANS, MA 02653
PERMIT NO. 54
cape cod children’s place
P.O. Box 1935
10 Ballwic Road, off Nauset Road
N. Eastham, MA 02651
508.240.3310 telephone
800.871.9535 toll free
508.240.2352 fax
info@capecodchildrensplace.com
www.capecodchildrensplace.com
Check out this newsletter “in color”
on-line at our website.
This edition of the Cape Cod Children’s Place Family Newsletter was made possible through the generosity of the Cahn Funds for Social Change and the
Children’s Trust Fund.
HELPFUL FAMILY CONTACTS & RESOURCES
For a more comprehensive list of resources and services check out The Lower Cape Family Resource Guide on-line at
www.capecodchildrensplace.com or request a copy at 508.240.3310.
A Baby Center
508.771.8157
Basic items for infants and toddlers up to age three living on Cape Cod and Islands
Al-anon
508.394.4555
Offering support for friends and families of problem drinkers
Cape & Island Breast Feeding Warm Line
888.890.2229
Lactation services and classes are available to local Cape and Islands mothers
Child Support Enforcement-Mass DOR
508.771.2414 x 3 Assistance in enforcing the financial responsibilities of parenthood
Consumer Credit Counseling
800.208.2227
Budgeting and debt consolidation assistance
Family Support Program and Maternal
Depression/Cindy Horgan
508.240.3310
Free referrals to parenting resources, child and family therapists, etc.
Fuel Assistance Program
508.746.6707
Emergency fuel/heating help
Healthy Connections
508.255-1903
Referrals for free/low cost health insurance
Homeless Prevention Council
508.255.9667
Counseling, advocacy, resources and referral services
La Leche League/Gabrielle
508.237.8786
Providing education, information, and support to women who want to breastfeed
Lower Cape Outreach Council
508.240.0694
Providing short-term emergency assistance to Lower Cape families and individuals
Mass APEAL
508.349.1173
Free clothing as well as information on Serve New England Program
MSPCC
800.272.9722
Protecting and promoting the rights and well-being of children & families
Outer Cape Health Services
508.349.3131
Providing high quality primary healthcare to those living in or visiting the 8 Lower/Outer Cape
towns, regardless of their financial situation
Outer Cape Women, Infants and Children’s
(WIC) Nutrition Program
800.675.1188
Supplemental foods, health care referrals, and nutrition education
Parental Stress Line
800.632.8188
A free, confidential, and anonymous 24-hour parent helpline for parental support
Provincetown Family Resource Center
800.871.9535 or Providing support, referrals, and financial aid through the John A. Henry Trust administered by
508.237.2688
Cape Cod Children's Place
WE CAN
866.430.8111
Assisting Cape Cod women through the transition of divorce, career change or growth, job loss,
illness, or retirement